A Different Kind Of Stoned

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Right | December 11, 2015

(As I walk past the restrooms heading back to the manager’s office, a man comes out of the men’s room.)

Customer: “I finally did! I finally passed that son of a gun!”

(The man holds up a wad of toilet paper… with a KIDNEY STONE on it.)

Me: “Oh, God.” *and I quickly duck into the office!*

The Internet Loves Stories About Them, Too

| Dallas, TX, USA | Right | December 11, 2015

Customer: “Excuse me, ma’am, where would I go to complain to a manager?”

Me: “What is the issue? Maybe I can help?”

Customer: “Forget it. I’ll just go complain on the Internet.”

Me: “Are you sure? It won’t be but a couple of seconds.”

Customer: “Yes, I’m sure. The Internet loves this stuff.”

Me: *gives him a weird look* “Well, okay then. Have a good day!”

(I later tell my manager what happened, and he just laughs.)

Manager: “Okay, I’m sure he’ll get real far with that. One less dumb-a** I have to deal with.”

She’s Lying/Not Lying

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | December 11, 2015

(Our store works with another company that offers a card to students that gets them discounts at many places. It is the card company’s policy that if a person looks like they could be 16 or older, they MUST produce student ID. If they don’t, under no circumstance are we allowed to give them the discount. A customer comes up who looks like she’s 16-18 years old.)

Me: “Your total is $15.75.”

Girl: “Oh, I have the [Student Card].”

Me: “Of course. If you could just quickly show me your student ID?”

Girl: “I don’t have it with me.”

Me: “Then unfortunately, I can’t give you the discount.”

Girl: “You’re joking! I’m from another province! I didn’t bring my student ID with me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot give you the discount. It’s [Card Company]’s policy that anyone who looks like they could be 16 or older must produce student ID.”

Girl: “That’s ridiculous! I’m, like, 12/13.”

(I look over the girl, and she looks way too old to be 13. I’m about to say something when her words suddenly hit me.)

Me: “Wait, you said you’re 12/13?”

Girl: “Yes! I’m 12/13!”

Me: “…So, you don’t know how old you are?”

Girl: “…What was the total again?”

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Should Be A Customer Screening Process

| NH, USA | Right | December 11, 2015

User: “Well, if I upgrade to that monitor arm, what happens to the little thing that’s under my computer?”

Me: *confused* “What little thing that’s under your computer?”

User: “This thing.” *user taps her computer*

Me: “That is your computer.”

Other IT Guy: “Did she just say that?”

User: “Well, the screens and the keyboard are the only pieces that I need anyway.”

Laptop Flop, Part 10

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | December 11, 2015

(I’m at a store which sells containers and furniture. They have a bunch of props to go on top of their items which are not for sale. I see a girl and boy looking at a fake laptop on a desk.)

Boy: “That’s fake.”

Girl: “I know.”

Boy: “It’s fake.”

Girl: “I know.”

Boy: “Why are you trying to turn it on then?”

Girl: “I’m enjoying my life.”

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 9
Laptop Flop, Part 8
Laptop Flop, Part 7

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