Getting The Booking Is A Bumpy Ride

| ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I work as a front desk agent at a hotel near very upper crust college. Parents’ weekend comes by, and all area hotels are long sold out. A man approaches my desk:)

Guest: “Hi, I have a reservation for Mr. and Mrs. [Name].”

Me: “Yes, you do.” *though I burn inside because this guest has used his Diamond status to bump another guest reservation out so he could get a room* “Let me check you in.”

Guest: “Thank you. And I also have a room for my parents, Mr. and Mrs. [Other Name].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is no reservation. And all area hotels are sold out.”

Guest: “What? This is not right. Let me see your computer.”

Me: “I cannot do that but I assure you there is no reservation.”

Guest: “D*** IT! WHAT IN THE H***!? I CAN NOT HAVE MY EIGHTY YEAR OLD PARENTS MISS THIS WEEKEND! GET THAT ROOM FOR ME!”

(Our manager arrives, and using his skill and access calls the Diamond Guest Service Number. He then turns back to the guest and tries to suppress a smile.)

Manager: “It seems you did make a reservation here for your parents.”

Guest: “Thank you! Finally, some intelligence.”

Manager: “However, per the agreed on policy for Diamond guests, you are only allowed one room reservation where you bump a previously reserved guest. Since you made your reservation after you made your parents’, you bumped them out.”

Guest: “Fine! I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

Manager: “Of course. But we will charge you for your room anyway as you did not cancel in the allotted time.”

Suffering From A Vowel Movement

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words

(The grocery store I work in has a week every summer in which we put Hawaiian-esque foods on sale, such as tuna, pineapples, spam, pork, coconuts, etc. Neighborhood luaus are very popular in our area during the summer. We have signs proclaiming this all over the store.)

Customer: “I need to speak to your manager right away!”

Me: “I’m the manager. What can I help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’m an English teacher, and I’m appalled by your signs!”

Me: “What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “Whoever made then doesn’t know how to spell! Don’t you people know that you can’t put four consonants in a row?”

Me: “You mean vowels? And that is how you spell ‘Hawaiian,’ ma’am.”

Customer: *exasperated* “God, all of you are such f****** idiots! I’m looking it up on my phone right now!”

(She did just that, and my coworkers and I watched as she suddenly paled, ditched her cart, and left the store. We haven’t seen her back since, even though she was a regular.)

Not Quite Free For The Taking

| SD, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(At the store where I work, you almost always have to buy two of an item to get the sale price. Sometimes we can make an exception if we don’t have two of the sale item in the store, but it’s not very common. A customer comes to my register and sets two things on the counter.)

Customer: “Can I only buy ONE of these to get the sale price? I only need one!”

Me: “Well, you’ll probably have to buy both… What’s the sale on them?”

Customer: “Buy one, get one free.”