Being A Customer Is Not Their Calling

, | Yorba Linda, CA, USA | Right | January 8, 2016

(A middle-aged lady walks into the store.)

Customer: “Hi, may I have the store’s phone number?”

(I look at my coworker and we share a confused look.)

Me: “May I ask why?”

Customer: “My grandson is in the car and wants to call in an order.”

(In total disbelief, I give her the number and watch her sign it to her grandson through the store window.)

Customer: “Did he call?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay, let me give you his number so you can take his order.”

(Before I can say anything she gives me her grandson’s number so I call but nothing happens.)

Customer: “Well, just walk out to the car and take his order!”

(I went out, took the order, went back and made the sandwich. While she paid for it she commented on how rich she was and how poor we were. Seriously, she told us we were poor and couldn’t afford what she could. She left, leaving no tip. Worst customer ever.)

They’ve Left The Reservation

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | January 8, 2016

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]; how may I assist you?”

Customer: “I want a reservation for [date] at [time].”

Me: *pulls up date on reservation system* “Fantastic! We do have availability—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Great. I will see you then.”

Me: “Ma’am, before you go, I’m going to need a little bit of information to book a reservation for you.”

Customer: “Yeah. What do you need?”

Me: “Well, first I’m going to need your name…”

(This happens almost daily.)

Receiving Way Too Much

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Right | January 8, 2016

(I walk a customer through performing a system test on the satellite receiver in his living room.)

Me: “Okay, sir, that one works fine. Can you test the one in your bedroom?”

Customer: “Yeah. Let me get back there.” *he then proceeds to ask about the weather in our area as I hear fluid trickling in the background*

Me: *I finish describing the weather, still hearing a trickle* “Are you ready to test your bedroom receiver now, sir?”

Customer: “Well, I’m in the bathroom now. Hang on.”

Turning Water Into Wine And Back Again

| Germany | Right | January 8, 2016

(At check-in we offer our guests a free welcome drink. Normally this is prosecco (Italian sparkling wine) but we also have sparkling water if the guest does not drink alcohol.)

Me: “Welcome to the hotel! Can we offer you a prosecco on the house?” *seeing difficult look* “Or would you like sparkling water?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “The prosecco or the water?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “It is your choice, madam, would you like the sparkling wine or the water?”

Guest: *agitated* “Yehesss….”

(My coworker just starts pouring a prosecco without further comment. The husband of the guest enters the hotel.)

Guest: *to husband* “Those two here really wanted to confuse me just now!”

A Bad Case Of The Mondays

| Right | January 8, 2016
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