A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller

| Surrey, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Time

(I receive a phone call about half an hour to close.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “What time are you open ’til?”

Me: “We close in 30 minutes, sir.”

Caller: “No! I don’t want to know when you close! I want to know how long you’ll be open!”

Me: “We’re open for another 30 minutes.”

Caller: “Thanks!” *hangs up*

(I’ve worked here too long.)

Snickering At The Service

, | Sylva, NC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a sandwich shop during my first few years of college. One day during a slow period my two coworkers see this lady come inside on the security cameras. My coworkers immediately say ‘not it!’ so I go up to take care of this woman’s order. The lady is already irritated and being short with me, over something like she’s late or she’s had a bad day. The order is going along fine until we get to the part where she tells me what veggies she wants.)

Customer: “And now I want the snicker cheese.”

Me: *confused* “The what?”

Customer: “The snicker cheese.”

Me: *still confused* “…like the candy bar?”

Customer: “Yes, the cheese that tastes like the Snicker’s candy bar.”

(It turns out she wants the parmesan oregano. I can tell you from experience parmesan oregano tastes nothing like a Snicker’s candy bar. After finishing the woman’s order, I go back and my coworkers ask me what was up with her. I tell them what she said and they both just kind of give me this weird look.)

Me: “You don’t believe me, do you?”

Coworker: “No, I believe you. Something that stupid can’t be made up.”

Closing Time Crime

, | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a fast food restaurant that closes at 9:30 pm. A customer comes in just before then, as I am helping close up for the day.)

Customer: “Hi. I ordered an eight-piece fried chicken during my lunch break, and got baked instead.”

Me: “All right, sir. I’m terribly sorry. Do you want a refund or a correct order?”

Customer: “I’d like what I ordered, please. The eight-piece fried chicken meal.”

Me: “Sure, sir. We’re about to close, so at this point at night, we aren’t making the fried chicken anymore.”

Customer: “What? But you’re a fried chicken place!”

Me: “Yes, we are, but we’re also closing for the night.”

Customer: “Okay, so, can I get an order that’s the same amount of money?”

Me: “No problem. I just need the receipt and I can get you that, sir.”

Customer: “The receipt? Oh, I think I threw that away.”

(I look at him apologetically. I cannot correct an order or give a refund without the receipt.)

Me: “What? Sir, I cannot give you your meal without the receipt.”

Customer: “What? It’s just a piece of paper, I had the wrong order earlier and now I want what I paid for!”

Me: “Sir, we fill out hundreds of orders around lunch time and I would not be able to find your order among them.”

Customer: “I WANT MY FRIED CHICKEN!”

Me: “Sir, please lower your voice. We don’t have the fried chicken, and without your receipt I can’t give you a refund.”

Customer: “[Other Fast Food Chain] doesn’t need receipts to give me my food!”

Me: “Sir, I am fairly sure they do. Look, it’s closing time but I can try to look through our computer system to find your order.”

(He suddenly backs down a bit, from menacing to nervous.)

Customer: “No, no, that’s okay. I’ll just go get dinner somewhere else.”

(He leaves quickly. My manager walks over to see what it was about, and after I tell him, he shakes his head.)

Manager: “I’m willing to bet there was no receipt, and he was just after a free meal!”

An Off-Color Purchase

| Dedham, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I work in the beer and wine department of a large supermarket chain. A very elderly customer comes in a couple times a month and asks us to give him two different white wines, six bottles of each. This day, he approaches me.)

Customer: “Could you help me? I want two red wines, six bottles of each.”

Me: “What do you typically like?”

Customer: “I don’t care. What do you think I’ll like?”

(I suggest a couple wines, he takes them without complaint.)

Customer: “You know, for ten years I’ve been drinking nothing but white wine, because I didn’t want to spill it and stain the carpet. But you know what I realized? F*** it!”

5 Stories Of Political Incorectness

Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Political Incorectness There is political incorrectness, and then there are those who are just incorrect about politics…

  1. High Cholesterol, Low IQ (2,393 thumbs up)
  2. Big Bother (6,414 thumbs up)
  3. You And Me Could Write A Bipartisan Romance (4,377 thumbs up)
  4. Being The President Sucks (3,425 thumbs up)
  5. When Rants Get Real (2,913 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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