Big Box Of Bad

| MA, USA | Right | September 23, 2015

(My mother and I are having lunch at a chain restaurant where we’ve always gotten decent food and great service. The lady at the next table keeps calling our waitress over to complain about her food, to the point where it’s getting on my mom’s nerves. The waitress is apologetic and gets her bill adjusted for her.)

Waitress: “…and here’s your dessert. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.

Lady: “Thank you. Oh, and can I get a box for the rest of this?”

(Mom and I exchange a look.)

Mom: “That bad, huh?”

Customer/Associate

| Right | September 23, 2015

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Credited With Having No Children

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Right | September 23, 2015

Me: “Enter your PIN, sir.”

(He does, and then removes card straight away, not waiting for the machine.)

Me: “Sir, it looks like you pulled out early—”

Customer: “Story of my life! It’s why I don’t have kids.”

(The next customer and I burst out laughing.)

Not A Strong Parental Drive

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Right | September 23, 2015

(I am a technician. I am given an SUV to perform a brake job. I hop in the car and drive it into the shop when I glance in the rear view mirror and spot a small boy strapped into his carseat. He smiles and waves at me. I whip around and look at him with a dumbfounded look.)

Me: “Uhh. Why are you in here?”

Boy: “Mommy said I can stay in the car.”

Me: “I think your mother was mistaken.”

(I roll down the window and shout for my shop foreman. He walks up and his jaw drops. I un-strap the child much to his dismay, and walk him into the lobby while holding his hand.)

Mother: “HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY CHILD! I’M CALLING THE COPS!”

Me: “Don’t shout at me. Why on earth did you think leaving your son in your car was a good idea? Do you have any idea how hot it was in your vehicle by the time I got into it?!”

Mother: “He’s restless. The only time he calms down is when he can nap in the car! WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM OUT?!”

Me: “Ma’am. I am not leaving a child in a hot car five feet in the air while I perform service on it.”

Shop Foreman: “Go ahead, ma’am… Call the police, and explain to them why your son’s energy is reason enough to leave him in a hot car with the windows up… I think they might side with us.”

(She sputters profanity at us for about 30 seconds before storming out of the store looking for her car.)

Shop Foreman: *to me* “Are you gonna back her car out?”

Me: “I was thinking of going to lunch, actually.”

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No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 8

| AZ, USA | Right | September 23, 2015

Me: “Thank you for calling [Credit Card Services]. I’m [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to make a payment.”

(I take payment.)

Customer: “Am I late?”

Me: “Unfortunately, yes. The cut off time is midnight Eastern Time. But I can look into the late fee for you.”

Customer: “YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS MAKING UP RULES TO SCREW THE CUSTOMER!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I’m in Texas! It’s not midnight where I am!”

Me: “I understand that, but we go by eastern time—”

Customer: “That’s just a made up rule!”

Me: “Sir, time is not a made up rule…”

Related
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 7
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 6
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 5

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