Unhappy To Have Nothing To Complain About

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(It is after dark and I am attending to a line of customers as we have had a pretty busy night due to the holidays. An older woman comes up to my register.)

Me: “How are you today, ma’am?”

Customer: *is quiet for a few moments before throwing her items onto the table* “Hello.”

(I begin to scan her items all the while she makes numerous demands of how she would like everything bagged a certain way. I am pleasant and cheerful the entire time as she has caught me in a good mood.)

Customer: “And see that you pack these together! Oh, and all the food in one bag. And make sure that box isn’t scratched!”

Me: “Oh course. That’s no problem!”

(I smile and continue to pack her things. There is a long pause.)

Customer: *in a sharp and sarcastic tone* “Well, you sure are… chipper and rather fast today.”

Me: *I smile* “Oh, I try to be! I’ve been here so long this job just comes as second nature.”

Customer: “Well, see that you stop that! You’re going too fast for me! And stop being so happy!”

Me: “… I’m sorry?”

(The woman walks off as I am left stunned.)

Coworker: “Did you really just get yelled at for being too nice?! Now I’ve seen it all!”

Trying To Dress Themselves Up

| Livingston, NJ, USA | Family & Kids

(A woman and her small child are walking through the men’s department.)

Kid: “Are we allowed to be in here?”

Woman: “Of course we are! Men don’t buy their own clothes anyway!”

Coupon Is Off

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

Customer: “I want to use this Groupon for my massage today; your manager said I could.”

(I look at the Groupon and it is for a competitor. I explain this to her.)

Customer: “Well, your manager said I could use this…”

(I call the manager who says that she claimed it was expired, not for a completely different store.)

Me: “Ma’am, I spoke with my manager and he agreed to let you use an expired Groupon, not one for a completely different location.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous!!! I’m calling the BBB and putting you on Facebook!”

Me: “Well, ma’am. I’m so sorry but I cannot allow you to use this but I can give you our member rate today and give you a free half hour massage on your next visit which is $80 in savings.”

Customer: “But I already paid for this Groupon and I WANT TO USE IT NOW!”

Me: “I understand your frustration, ma’am, but I cannot allow you to use this at this clinic as it is not for our store but for our competitors.”

Customer: “Well you just don’t want me to come in here. You hate people like me don’t you? You’re racist!”

(I am confused as both the customer and I are white.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to watch your language and calm down. Again, I cannot let you use this at this store but I can offer you up to $80 in savings and you will be paying less than you originally paid for the Groupon.”

Customer: “No! I ALREADY PAID FOR THIS F****** THING! I’M GOING TO THE BBB AND PUTTING YOU ON FACEBOOK! YOU PEOPLE ARE WORTHLESS AND EVIL!”

Me: “Ma’am, can I ask you just one question? Do you get mad when you go to Walmart and they don’t let you use Target Gift Cards?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Oh… well… just, NEVERMIND, YOU HEATHEN!”

(The customer walked out and never did get her massage. I also never heard from the BBB or corporate about being ‘blasted’ on Facebook.)

Perhaps This Isn’t Your Calling

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I’ve just started a new job as a secretary for a house construction company. The former secretary is training me.)

Former Secretary: “This job is a snap. Answering the phone is the easiest part. All they ever want is lot prices or house prices. Oh, the phone is ringing now; go ahead and answer it.”

Me: “Good morning. Thank you for calling [Company Name]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I need you to fix my hot tub.”

Me: “One moment please, sir.” *to the former secretary* “This guy wants us to fix his hot tub.”

Former Secretary: “What?”

(The former secretary takes phone, talks a little, and then hangs up.)

Former Secretary: “He had the wrong [Company Name]. He thought he was calling the head office of the hotel he’s staying at.  That was weird. Oh, the phone’s ringing again.”

Me: *answers phone*

Caller: “THEY’RE CUTTING DOWN MY TREES! MAKE THEM STOOOPPP!”

Me: “One moment please, sir.” *to former secretary* “Um, this guy says ‘they’ are cutting down his trees.”

Former Secretary: “Are you kidding?”

Me: “I thought answering the phones here was supposed to be easy?”

Former Secretary: “It usually IS!”

Being Careful With Words Is Now A Mute Point

, | Tarpon Springs, FL, USA | Geography, Technology

(I front the calls for an insurance call center. I’m on the phone with a customer, chit-chatting a little about the weather difference, since he is from California. I put my mic on mute while I try to see which agents are free to transfer the call to. In the meantime, I hear the customer talking to his friend in the background.)

Friend: “What’s that about?”

Customer: “Something about life insurance. But you should hear her. She sounds hot! I wish I had it on speaker. She sounded really hot! Like seriously, you should hear her! Too bad we’re on opposite ends of the country. She’s in Florida. I guess she just moved from Minnesota.”

(The entire time I can feel myself turning red, and debate on letting him know I can hear him, but I decide it’s time.)

Me: “Actually, from Michigan! But close!”

Customer: “Oh, from Michigan!”

(At this point you can hear the realization in his voice.)

Customer: “Oh, crap! You can hear everything? Oh, jeez! You should warn people! Like ‘I’m going to put you on hold but I can still hear you’!”

Me: “Yeah, but that would take out all the fun!”

Customer: “Oh man, this is so embarrassing! Well, at least you know somebody thinks you sound hot!”

(I could hear both him and his friend crack up. It made my day!)

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