If Life Can’t Give You Lemons…

, | Monument, CO, USA | Right | August 27, 2015

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a lemonade.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we do not have lemonade.”

Customer: “Do you have diet lemonade?”

Me: “…”

An Off-The-Wall Purchase

| CA, USA | Right | August 27, 2015

(I am a musician and an avid fan of rock and folk music, so I’m a little bit of a walking encyclopedia. One customer comes up with a Led Zeppelin book for thirty-five dollars, and we make small talk as I ring him up.)

Me: “So what’s your favorite Zeppelin album?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s my friend who’s the fan, not me. I just wanted to get him a gift.”

Me: “That’s awfully nice of you.”

Customer: “Yeah, he went to The Wall concert and loved it. I heard it was fantastic.”

(A light bulb goes off in my head.)

Me: “Wait…The Wall?”

Customer: “Erm… yes.”

Me: “That’s not Led Zeppelin, sir. That album’s actually Pink Floyd.”

Customer: “Oh… OH. Oh, dear! I got the wrong book!”

Me: *laughing* “No worries, sir! You just happen to be talking to a big fan of Floyd. Here, let me show you a better book.”

(I not only find the customer a book about ‘Pink Floyd’ for the same price as the ‘Led Zeppelin’ book, but I also convince him to get the newest ‘Rolling Stones’ collectible magazine specifically about the band. After I process the return and ring him up…)

Customer: “Good thing you happened to be working, my dear! Imagine me walking out with a book for my friend about the wrong band!”

Me: “It’s my pleasure as both a bookseller and a Floydian. Shine on, and have a good day!”

Done With You

| FL, USA | Right | August 27, 2015

(I work as a server, attending to a husband and wife. From the get-go, I get the sense that the wife is looking for something to be mad about. The husband, meanwhile, was quite affable and desperately trying to make up for his wife’s grouchiness by being extra pleasant. Taking their order, she is very specific about how she wants her salad, which is fine, and I take great pains to ensure it come out from the kitchen correctly. When I deliver their meals, the husband starts chowing down, but the wife spends a good five minutes inspecting her dish. Finally, after ostensibly finding nothing wrong with her meal, she sighs heavily and eats her meal. Since she looks so unhappy, I check up a few more times than usual, just to cover my own butt.)

Me: “Is everything to your liking?”

Husband: “Oh, yes. I really enjoyed the food.”

(The wife didn’t say much of anything, choosing instead to mutter under her breath. Finally, I notice that their plates are empty, so I go to pre-bus their table. The husband sheepishly thanks me for an excellent meal. Now, her plate is completely empty; no sauce to lick up, nothing. I go to take it away, when…)

Customer: “HEY! Why are you taking that away?! Did I say I was done?!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am! I assumed as much because the plate is completely empty.”

Customer: *looks at her own plate* “…Oh, I guess I WAS done!”

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Management Changes Prices; Blame Cashier

| NC, USA | Right | August 26, 2015

(My mom and I are going to the movies. We always go to the same theater, around the same time, because we know the matinee times. Unbeknownst to us, the theater was recently bought out. The new owner limited the matinee times and changed ticket prices, as well as now charging tax for concessions. It’s a slow day, so at the moment you purchase tickets from concessions.)

Cashier: “Hi, what can I get you guys?”

Mom: “Two for [Movie]”

Cashier: “Two adults for [Movie]. That’ll be… [price].”

Mom: “What do you mean?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry?”

Mom: “We get the matinee price. This is matinee time.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we recently changed management, and they changed the—”

Mom: “Are you serious?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry; ma’am, but I don’t have any control—”

Mom: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Mom, it’s not her fault! If it’s such a big deal, I’ll pay!”

Mom: “No, no, we said we were going to see [Movie] and we’re going to see it. Whatever, here’s the money. We’re not getting any popcorn.”

(Mom pays the red-faced cashier and we get our tickets and go to our theater. When we sit down I look at my mom. Note that I’m a cashier at a fast food restaurant.)

Me: “I can’t believe you talked to her like that.”

Mom: “What do you mean?”

Me: “It’s not her fault that they changed anything and you yelled at her! If someone talked to me like that at work I would hate them! I guarantee that right now she’s rolling her eyes with her co-workers at the mean customer she just had.”

Mom: “I didn’t yell at her…”

Me: “Yeah, you did. You were incredibly rude. And I’m going back and getting myself a soda. If you hadn’t been so rude to her, I was going to offer to buy your snacks.”

(I grab my purse and storm out of the theater, feeling pretty vexed by my mother, who I usually view as one of the most awesome people in the world. I head back to concessions and to the same girl.)

Me: “Can I get a medium Dr. Pepper?”

Cashier: “No problem.”

Me: “And I’m really sorry for the way that my mom acted…”

Cashier: “It’s fine. I’ve been getting that a lot lately. Your total is [price that’s different from what I’m used to].”

Me: “Oh, man, they’re charging tax now, too? What jerks! People must be yelling at you all the time.”

(The cashier shrugs and takes my money, and I take my soda.)

Me: “Once again, I’m really, really sorry for my mother.”

Cashier: “Really, it’s fine. Enjoy your movie!”

Me: “Have a good day!”

(I head back to my theater and sit down next to my mom.)

Me: “I apologized to the girl for how you acted.”

Mom: “Whatever…”

(As I shove my receipt into my purse I notice something odd and smile.)

Me: “She must have appreciated it; she only charged me for a small soda.”

(My mom and I were pretty passive-aggressive at each other for the rest of the day, but she ended up apologizing. I hope that I made that cashier’s day better.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 16

| WA, USA | Right | August 26, 2015

(It has been an insanely busy Friday in our store. I’m the only manager, so I have spent the last six hours running from one customer to the next, dealing almost exclusively with entitled idiots. This is probably my seventh no-receipt-return of the day.)

Me: “Okay, so you don’t have a receipt? Did you purchase this at our store?”

Customer: “NO. I bought it at the north store.”

Me: “Oh, unfortunately I can’t look up the receipt because our system only tracks transactions for our store.”

(I’m about to elaborate that I can call the other store, but she is glaring at me, and I’m already fed up with her tone.)

Customer: *huffing* “Well, can’t you do merchandise credit? It’s obviously unused.”

Me: “No. I’m sorry, but we still need a receipt for credit or exchang—”

Customer: “WHY NOT?! It’s unused. Look at it, it’s obviously unused. I’m not driving up to the north store just for a receipt.”

Me: *giving up* “Without a receipt we have no proof of purchase.”

Customer: “Well, that’s pretty lame. It’s obviously unused. It’s not my fault you can’t find my receipt.”

Me: “…It’s not our fault we can’t find your receipt.”

(She blinked at me angrily before declaring she would never set foot in our store again. Good.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 15
Refunder Blunder, Part 14
Refunder Blunder, Part 13

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