Should Have Put Dairy In The Diary, Part 2

| PA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(Every year, a seasonal favorite at the liquor store is eggnog with the good stuff in it. I was in my local liquor store and heard another customer complaining to the clerk.)

Customer: “Where’s all of the eggnog at?”

Clerk: “I’m sorry, but we are all sold out.”

Customer: “This is unbelievable. It’s Christmas Eve and you’re all out of eggnog. The same thing happened last year. Didn’t you people learn anything from that?”

Clerk: “Actually, I did. I bought my bottle two weeks ago when I found out that Christmas was finally coming.”

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Chickening Out Of New Years

| IA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I’m the on duty manager at a small town grocery store. We have a full service deli that offers roasted chicken and potato wedges. Normally it closes at seven in the evening to allow clean up time before the store closes at nine, but on New Year’s Eve, food service stopped at five. Around 6:30, a pair of women approach the deli counter, I’m one aisle over working on some stock with a coworker.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, we would like a 16-piece chicken.”

Customer #2: “And two large orders of potato wedges!”

Deli Worker: “I’m sorry; we stopped serving food at five tonight. We’re closing the deli up early because it’s New Years Eve.”

Customer #1: “We called in earlier and talked to the manager. He said you were open until seven!”

(I didn’t talk on the phone at all that night.)

Deli Worker: “Well, let me call the manager over here. He’ll sort this out for you.”

(I come over.)

Me: “Yes, ladies, what can I do for you?”

Customer #1: “We called in earlier and the manager said the deli was open until seven.”

Customer #2: “And we have a party of eight people waiting for us to come back with chicken to eat.”

Me: “Well, I’ve been the manager all day. I got here at 11 this morning and have yet to speak to a single customer on the phone. If you talked to the opening manager, I apologize if you received the wrong information. However, I can’t give you any chicken because we don’t have any. It also helps to call ahead on orders of this size because we don’t always have 16 pieces fresh and ready to go at half an hour to closing the deli.”

Customer #1: “We come here all the time, [My Name], you know that. You carry my groceries out. Isn’t there something you can do to help out a loyal customer?”

Me: “I’m sorry. You’re lucky that [Deli Worker] is even still here. She actually was just about to clock out when you got here.”

Customer #2: “This is outrageous! How are we supposed to serve eight people food now?”

Me: “Well, in town there’s three different stores that sell pizza for carry out, and they’re all down Main Street. Otherwise, the sandwich shop is open until 10 tonight, and even here in the store we have all sorts of food.”

Customer #1: “We could probably try [Pizza Place]…”

Customer #2: “Better idea! How about we buy four frozen pizzas and you just put them in the oven for us in the deli!”

(Customer #1, Deli Worker, and I all stare at Customer #2.)

Customer #2: “I demand your service!”

(Customer #1 ended up talking Customer #2 down and they ended up buying four frozen pizzas and taking them home.)

The Socks That Saved Christmas

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s Christmas Eve when a man runs into our store and looks around frantically.)

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Customer: *as if his life depends on it* “There is something I need to get my girls! The fate of Christmas depends on it!”

(He tells me what he needs and I lead him to them.)

Me: “Unfortunately, due to it being so close to Christmas, we don’t have a lot of different colours, but here they are.”

Customer: *eyes lighting up at the sight of them* “Oh, my god! You just saved Christmas!”

Me: “That’s no problem.”

(I go and help some more customers, but I come back to him later.)

Me: “Are you still finding everything all right?”

Customer: “Yes. Thank you. You saved Christmas!”

(Later, I happen to be at the till when my boss is checking the guy out.)

Boss: “Did you find everything all right today?”

Customer: *points to me* “Yes. That young lady just saved Christmas!”

(The man check out and goes happily on his way, and another customer who I noticed had seen the man thanking me a few times, comes up to me.)

Customer: “So, what exactly did you get him that the fate of Christmas rested upon?”

Me: “Fuzzy socks.”

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Mall Up In Arms

, | Seattle, WA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s New Year’s Eve and the mall closes at six pm. Anchor stores that have outside access can choose to stay open later. We have just closed our door and I begins to close the register…)

Customer: *bangs hard on out glass doors with both fists and screams something inaudible*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, the mall is closed.”

Customer: *screams inaudibly again*

Me: *walks to the door to better hear her*

Customer: “I need to buy [item] right now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the mall is closed. It’s New Year’s Eve. We close at six pm as posted in several locations in the mall.”


Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry but I cannot help you. As I said before the mall is closed and has been for the past 10 minutes.”

Customer: “THAT’S A LIE! [Anchor Store Across The Hall] IS OPEN!”

Me: “They have outside access through their store. We do not.” *I start to walk away*

Customer: *starts kicking our glass door*

Coworker: “Ma’am, my manager has already told you we cannot help you. If you continue to kick at our door we will be forced to call security.”

Customer: *runs*

(The item she wanted was a rather expensive hanging wall piece that had nothing to do with New Years. It most certainly wasn’t worth being detained.)

Unlucky At Cards

| FL, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(During the Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years seasons we get very busy and the theft rate skyrockets, so it’s not uncommon for me to walk the store when people are browsing just to quietly watch.)

Customer: *acting somewhat shady; trying to keep one side to me as he browses cards*

(I move to another aisle where I’m able to watch him in the mirror in the corner of the store. I watch him try and palm some Christmas cards in order to try and steal them.)

Me: “Excuse me, Sir?”

(The customer looks up with raised brows; still keeping his one side with the palmed Christmas cards away from me.)

Me: “I noticed you were browsing our card selection. Might I suggest we some of the wonderful New Years cards that would go splendidly with the Christmas cards you have in hand?” *smiles warmly*

(Knowing he’s busted, the customer set the cards down and promptly left the store.)

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