Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness

| West Sussex, England, UK | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Wild & Unruly

(My wife and I do our weekly shop every Monday. My wife’s a primary school teacher and has a very calm, nature. She’s also practiced judo since early childhood, runs a class at weekends, and has a self-defense class that uses non-excessive force. My wife has offered to get the ingredients for her school to make pancakes the next day, as it is the day before Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day). Most ingredients are shared but we need 14 two-pint jugs of milk. My wife is at the pancake display. There are loads of ready made, ready mix, and separate ingredient on display. My wife is counting out the 14 jugs of milk, when another customer approaches.)

Customer: “Jesus, lady, leave some for the rest of us.”

Wife: *looking at the display* “I’m sure there’s enough for everyone.”

(My wife moves the trolley to try and leave.)

Customer: “Stuck-up b****.”

(My wife carries on moving as she has what she needs.)

Customer: *moving his trolley to block my wife* “Hey, don’t ignore me. I asked you a question.”

Wife: “No, you didn’t. You told me to leave some, even though there’s more than enough. Then you called me a stuck-up b****. Please move your trolley so I can get away from you.”

Customer: “How many you got in there? 14?” *he takes two milks out* “Now you only have 10.”

Wife: “Not only are you rude, you’re also an idiot. 14 minus 2 is 12.” *reaches out and gets two more milks* “Now there’s 14 again.”

(She moves her trolley quickly around the man. By now people are starting to stare. I make a move to go to her but she gives me a look so I stay where I am. The man takes a step towards her and puts his hand around her wrist.)

Customer: “You think you’re better than me, b****?!”

Wife: *very calmly* “Sir, I have tried to ignore you’re insults and politely asked you to move. You will not leave me alone. Now you have placed you hands on me in a threatening manner. This is considered assault. If you do not let go of me NOW I am within my rights to defend myself. Do you understand?”

(The customer just looks at her as if she’s spoken another language.)

Wife: “I have given you fair warning. I am obliged to warn you that I know judo. Please let go of me.”

(My wife tries to move her arm but he holds a little tighter.)

Customer: “You think you can hurt me, you b—”

(My wife uses the heel of her hand to strike the man in the face, causing his nose to bleed. She then flips him, where he lands with an almighty crash half on the floor and half on the display. While he is laying, screaming, she bends his index finger back (without breaking it) so he cannot get away. We hear heavy footsteps as security and staff comes running. People are just standing around, amazed.)

Security Guard: “What’s going on? Miss, you need to let go of him now, please.”

Wife: *very calmly* “This man was very rude and abusive to me. I asked him several times to leave me alone but he held my arm. I warned him I know judo, but he decided to hold on tighter. I then defended myself against a personal attack.

(The police were called and the man was taken away. My wife, I, and a few other customers were questioned by police as to what happened. As we all said the same thing, and my wife did not use excessive force, we were all told to go on our way. The supermarket donated the pancake ingredients to the school and my wife and I received £500 in vouchers. The customer has been banned from that store and the other major supermarkets in the area.)

Sweet Sixteen Is A Bitter Surprise

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(When I was sixteen, I was the only girl working at this particular hardware store. While I was scanning another customer’s purchases, and old man slides behind me at the register and whispers in my ear.)

Customer: “I didn’t find what I wanted, but that’s okay.”

(I jerk away from him, because he was quite close.)

Me: “Oh… I’m sorry, sir.”

Customer: *takes my left hand and caresses my ring finger* “Tsk, tsk. Boys don’t know anything these days. A girl like you should already be snapped up.”

Me: “I’m 16.”

Customer: *drops my hand abruptly* “Have a nice day.”

Stripped Of His Confidence

| USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(This conversation occurred between me and a customer buying shoes for a wedding. I’m a tall girl and rather busty.)

Me: *after ringing up shoes and going through usual questions* “Okay, that will be [total].”

Customer: “Just a second.” *pulls out wallet, digs in pockets, and locates two extra bills in another pocket* “Hey, I found extra money. That’s great!”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I always love finding extra money at the bottom of my purse.”

Customer: “Oh, from your job as a stripper?”

(At this he freezes and his whole face is overcome with a look of absolute horror at what he’s just said. His tone isn’t insulting and in fact I got the distinct impression he must have a lot of female friends he casually jokes with without thinking. I’m standing there struggling between laughter and insult and settle on laughter as I’ve had a good day and he just looks like he feels really bad.)

Customer: “Oh, my god, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to imply—”

Me: “It’s fine. It’s flattering to think I look good enough to be a stripper.” *poses*

(The customer laughed though clearly still felt bad, He paid and left with his shoes. Another coworker walked over, having heard the exchange, and we stared at each other a moment before we burst out laughing.)

Cannibalism Is Child’s Play

| WV, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I’m stocking in an aisle in which a customer is also shopping. From a few aisles away comes the high pitched scream of a child. The customer turns and smiles at me.)

Customer: “That child should have been eaten at birth.”

Me: “…”

A Significant Flight Risk

| Honolulu, HI, USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(I work in a very touristy part of town and we have a lot of flight attendants who stop through the store. I see a guy and help him at the computer. This guy is close to 60.)

Me: “So you just click here and it should be good.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you. Say, where are you from?”

Me: “The Philippines.”

Customer: “Oh, my friend met his wife there. He basically waited outside of the college she was attending everyday and finally convinced him to go out with her. She eventually said yes. I’ve been there a few times since I’m a flight attendant. Beautiful women you know.”

Me: “That’s nice. I’m gonna go help out some other people. Ask me if you have other questions.”

(I loop around a couple more times around the store answering questions. He flags me down.)

Customer: “Marry me and you’ll fly for free.”

Me: “Ha ha. That’s the same line my friend’s dad used 30 years ago on his wife.”

Customer: “Well, it’s a good line.”

Me: “I think I’ll pass, but thank you anyway.”

(I loop around the store again, and start demonstrating a product features. I see him lingering in the back waiting for me to finish.)

Customer: “Thank you for helping me out tonight. You’re really sweet. Here’s my card.”

Me: “Uh. Thanks.”

(The card said, “You’re really charming and here’s my number. Let’s meet for drinks after work.” I never called, but he came back a few weeks later asking for help with his phone from my coworker. His phone background was a picture of some woman’s breasts. Gross.)

Page 948/2,917First...946947948949950...Last
« Previous
RANDOM
Next »