Not Central To Their Understanding

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography

(I am from Central America but have lived in Colorado all my life. People usually ask what part of Mexico I’m from and I just have to give them a smile and let them know I am in fact not from Mexico but a small Central American country. I am helping a customer check out.)

Customer: “Wow you have no accent even though you’re Mexican!”

Me: “I’ve lived in Colorado all my life but I’m actually from a small Central American country.”

Customer: “Oh! Maria, my maid, is from Central America. Do you know Maria!?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there are many Maria’s from Central America. Where is she from?”

Customer: “Maria! You must know Maria!! My maid! MARIA!”

Me: “Well, I’m from…”

Customer: “Nooo. Maria! Maria. Maria! From Central America! You KNOW her! Mmaarriiiaa!”

(This went on for a few minutes. Obviously we never figured out who she was talking about even though she kept saying the name Maria longer and louder.)

Oblivious To The Obvious, Part 2

| England, UK | Crazy Requests

(I deal with customer queries on the phone, but we have no automated system that pops up with details. Calls just come straight through.)

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [Bank]. Can I take your name please?”

Customer: “It’s [Customer].”

Me: “Hello, Mr. [Customer], how can I help?”

Customer: “I want you to send me a list of my direct debits on this account.”

Me: “Sure. Can I take your account details please?”

Customer: “Isn’t it obvious?”

Me: ” … No?”

Oblivious To The Obvious

Customer Service Stripped Bare

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I’m working in the shoe department of a popular retail store when my manager comes running towards me.)

Manager: “[My Name], did you see a naked guy run through this department a second ago?!

Me: “Uh… no?”

Manager: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes! I think I’d remember that!”

Manager: “Right…”

(He ran off down the aisle and I didn’t hear from him for the rest of the night. I heard from a coworker later on that the man in question had run out of the store, through the parking lot, and into a waiting car wearing nothing but socks and sneakers.)

The Perfect Answer

| Newark, DE, USA | Awesome Workers, Geography

(Two customers come into my store.)

Me: “Hey, guys, if you have any questions just let me know.”

Customer #1: “What’s the capital of Bolivia?”

Me: “That’s one I don’t know off the top of my head.”

Customer #1: “You said any question!”

Me: “Yeah, I did, but I never said I’d have the answer.”

Customer #2: *looks at customer #1* “That’s true, she didn’t say she’d have the answer.”

Customer #1: “D*** it!”

Sorry, Please Chai Again

| Olympia, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I am working in a new coffee shop on campus that is very busy at certain times of the day. We start to notice a professor pulling a scam on us at our peak times. Every day she waits until we are really busy. She waits with her friend in line but does not order anything. Then, after ‘waiting’ a while, she demands to know where her drink is. Several students are pulling this scam as well. We put up a sign that says you have to present your receipt, and make sure we tell everyone that orders. All the scams stop, except one.)

Professor: *slamming her hand over and over on the pickup counter* “Where is my chai?! Where is my chai?!”

Coworker: “Do you have your receipt?”

Professor: *indignant* “No.”

Coworker: “Then you don’t have a chai.”

(She never tried to pull the scam on us again!)

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