Dealing With A Smoking Gun

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I work at a grocery store at the courtesy desk. Our store is relatively new and doesn’t sell cigarettes, unlike most others of the same chain. One day a woman approaches the desk.)

Me: “Hello. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, can I have a carton of Marlboro Lights?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. This [Store] does not sell cigarettes.”

Customer: *shocked and annoyed* “What? Why not?!”

Me: “The owner made the decision not to sell them before he opened this store.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this. That’s just UN-AMERICAN!”

(Her husband who was nearby hears her and walks up.)

Customer’s Husband: Hmm? What’s the matter?

Customer: “This store doesn’t sell cigarettes! Have you ever heard of that before?! It’s just un-American!”

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience. There is a store in the plaza that sells cigarettes just outside here.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to! It’s just un-American to not sell cigarettes!”

(The customer storms off leaving me and her husband to just stare in confusion.)

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

Customer’s Husband: “Yeah, not when I’m out shopping with her!”

Thank You For Your Non Custom

| OK, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I’ve just gotten off work and run to a nearby store to pick up a few things. At work, we wear vests and leave them there after our shifts, so I’m wearing ‘normal’ clothing; a black shirt, jeans, and flats. In no way do I look like I’m working, or like I work for the store I’m shopping in.)

Other Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me find something?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t work here and this is my first time shopping here. I just saw an employee stocking in the next aisle, though. He may be able to help.”

Other Customer: “But you work at [My Store]! I saw you earlier!”

Me: “Yes…”

Other Customer: “So why won’t you help me?”

Me: “Because I’m not at work? This isn’t my store. I can’t be of assistance.”

Other Customer: “You provide terrible customer service! I’m reporting you!”

(She did indeed report me to my manager. He couldn’t stop laughing and just said that he doesn’t understand why all of the weird things only happen to me. Indeed, when the lady came through my line a few days later, she demanded that I accept a return of the items she bought at the other store where I “wouldn’t help her.” I don’t think she understands how stores work.)

Date Updated

| Reading, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I get home from work to find my wife (who gets home before me) has unpacked the shopping which has been delivered.)

Me: “What do you want for tea?”

Wife: “We were going to have macaroni but we’ll have to have the chicken biryani instead because it goes out of date today. There were six things which go out today, which is outrageous.”

Me: “I thought they were supposed to inform you when they gave you things with today’s use-by date?”

Wife: “So did I. So I rang them up to complain. Such a nice lady, she apologised and gave us a refund on each of these articles.”

Me: “Nice of her.” *goes to fridge* “What, this chicken Biryani? Doesn’t go out of date until Saturday.”

(Today is Thursday.)

Wife: “What! But it distinctly says: use by the 12th.”

Me: “Yes, and today’s the 10th.”

Wife: “Oops.”

(She rang the supermarket back and was really apologetic about it. The woman at the other end was so happy to receive an apologetic phone call she let us keep the refund.)