They’re Un-bear-able

| Gatlinburg, TN, USA | Right | September 27, 2015

(My sister and I work in a store that is located in a tourist town just outside the Smoky Mountain National Park.)

Customer: “We want to see the bears.”

(Black bears are a very popular part of the wildlife in the National Park and area. They actually come to my house all of the time.)

Me: “Well, you can go up to Ober Gatlinburg where they have a bear pen.”

Customer: “Oh, no, we want to see them in the wild.”

Me: “That’ll be hard to arrange…”

Customer: “Say, what time do they let the bears out in the park?”

Me: “They don’t let them out. They are wild animals. They come whenever they want to.”

Customer: “Then how can we see them?”

Me: “Well, you could drive around Mt Leconte and get lucky. Or you could just leave your garbage out on your front porch and wait. They’ll come.”

How To Get Yourself Fired

| London, England, UK | Right | September 27, 2015

(I work for an IT company that, among other things, provides technical support for IT equipment to customers. On company I take calls for has hundreds of small restaurants dotted across the UK. I receive a call from a site in London around the time of the riots.)

Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, this is [Store]. The building next to us has been set fire and the smoke and flames are coming into our building. What do we do?”

Me: *in a slightly panicked voice* “Silly question, but have you contacted the fire department and evacuated the building?”

Customer: “errr… No, what’s their number?”

Me: “999.” *the number for emergency services in the UK*

Customer: “Okay, I’ll call them now.”

Smiling Feces

| Right | September 27, 2015

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Lost In Retail Space

| Austin, TX, USA | Right | September 26, 2015

(I’m working the register when I see an unusual sight: a young boy, about 12, pushing a cart filled with clothes, followed by his grandmother and little brother. The boy keeps pushing to the checkout, but the rest of his family gets a little distracted; the grandmother starts checking out clothes further in, while the brother wanders away. Unsure if the boy has noticed, I decide to say something.)

Me: “I think you lost your family.”

Boy: “I’m okay with that.”

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Christmas Is Coming…

| Right | September 26, 2015

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