It’s No Use Lying Over Spilt Milk

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a big name coffee chain. This conversation is taking place over headsets; I’m in the back unpacking stock.)

Coworker: “Is it possible to be allergic to milk fat?”

Me: “I don’t know, maybe? Some pretty weird allergies run in my family.”

Coworker: “This customer just asked for a drink made nonfat because she’s allergic to milk fat.”

Me: “Well, if she says there’s an allergy, assume she’s telling the truth.”

Coworker: “And she wants whipped cream on it.”

Me: “…”

The Request Is Not Relative To The Situation

| UK | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work in the admissions office.)

Caller: “Can you email me to confirm that I’ve paid the deposit?”

Me: “No problem. I’ll do it as soon as I get off the phone.”

Caller: “It’s very urgent…”

Me: “Okay, just give me a second… Right, I just wrote you an email and I’m sending it now.”

Caller: “Can I get it sooner? I don’t have much time.”

Me: “Sooner than now?”

Caller: “Yes, please.”

Giving You A Cold Reception

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

(I’m working in a 19th century mansion that has been turned into a museum. It’s late autumn and the house already gets very cold inside. I’m ringing up a couple for a tour.)

Customer: “Aren’t they ever opening this house for Christmas again?”

Me: “Well, it’s very difficult to hea—”

Customer: “Yes, they said something about it being hard to heat. I wouldn’t think you’d need much heat just for a tour!”

Me: “Oh, you might feel differently in December. But I also think the guides might revolt over being kept in a 50-degree house all day.”

Customer: “You’re all just lazy!” *walks away*