A Driving Thought

, | Palm Harbor, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Chain]; can I take your order?”

Customer: “I’ll have [order].”

Me: “Okay, I have a [order]? Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Thanks. Your total will be [total].”

(The customer drives up to the window.)

Customer: *smugly* “You forgot to tell me to please drive through.*

Me: “Sir, if I need to tell someone to drive through, then I’m not sure I want to deal with them when they eventually find the window.”

Too Needy For Me

| Albany, CA, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I am making popcorn when I see a customer approach the concessions stand and turn around. I am not sure if she needs anything, but I acknowledge her anyway.)

Me: “Hi there! I’ll be right with you.”

Customer: “No, I don’t need you. I mean, I love you, but I don’t need you.”

That Line Is Dead

| Invercargill, New Zealand | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I am selling a customer a dryer. For warranty purposes our system logs everyone’s purchases under their names and phone numbers.)

Me: “What’s your phone number, sir?”

Customer: “It’s [number].”

Me: “So, that will be going under [Woman’s Name]?”

Customer: “No. That’s my wife’s name.”

Me: “Is that okay?”

Customer: “Well, she’s dead at the moment so I’m not sure how that would work…”

Love Is A Game

| Fresno, CA, USA | Love/Romance, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I am the assistant manager at a local video game/electronics store. A customer comes into the store when it is empty. He is really nice and we are talking about what type of video games and music we enjoy. It was your typical sales conversation and that was all. The next day when it is swamped, my coworker tells me there is a customer on the phone that would like to speak to a manager. I pick it up and professionally introduce myself.)

Customer: “Hey, I am glad it is you that is there. Remember me? I am the guy you talked to yesterday about [Video Game].”

Me: “I am really sorry, sir, but I talk to a lot of people each day. Was there an issue with the game you purchased yesterday?”

Customer: “No, I just wanted to call and see if maybe you wanted to go out.”

(I stand there looking at a line to the door and see the customers’ faces start to get upset.)

Me: “I am sorry but I have a line to the door right now and cannot talk about this. Can I put you on hold and get back to you in a few minutes?”

Customer: “You are just going to hang up on me. You are just being a b****. If you didn’t want to go out with me, you shouldn’t have flirted with me.”

Me: “Sir, I am sorry you feel that way but I cannot talk about this right now. I am going to put you on hold and I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

(I put the customer on hold and he hung up in a few minutes. The next day my manager let me know that I received a complaint from a customer who was upset that I turned him down for a date and recommended that I be let go for bad customer service!)

Keep Your Shirt On

| AL, USA | Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(Customer #1 is man in his mid-50s, in a suit, and very polite. Customer #2 is in his mid-30s, with a greasy ponytail and tie-dyed shirt. I go to deliver the food.)

Me: “Can I bring you gentlemen anything else?”

Customer #1: “No, thank you.”

Customer #2: “No, I’m fine.”

(As I’m turning around, Customer #2 snaps his fingers at me.)

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer #2: “You know, I own a restaurant.”

Me: “That’s nice, sir.”

Customer #2: *leers* “I’ll give you $10 and a t-shirt for an ‘interview’ in my car.”

Me: “No, thanks. I love my job.”

Customer #2: “I could make it two t-shirts?”

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