Making False Bald Statements

| KS, USA | Pets & Animals, School

(I am currently working in the birds of prey section when a group of students and a few chaperones walk in.)

Chaperone #1: *points at golden eagle* “Look kids! It’s the state bird of America.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s actually a golden eagle. The bald eagle is the national bird.”

Chaperone #1: “I went to school for four years. I think I know what the state bird of America is!”

Me: “I’m not questioning your intelligence, ma’am, but America does not have a ‘state bird.’ It’s national symbol is, in fact, the bald eagle. If you look at the sign in front of the exhibit you will see that this is a golden eagle.”

Chaperone #1: “That’s a f****** bald eagle! I’m a history teacher! I know my s***!”

Chaperone #2: “Michelle, you are not a teacher! You are merely a chaperone. If you continue to act like this you will never be a chaperone again.”

Chaperone #1: *dumbfounded*

Student: “You tell her, Mrs. [Chaperone #2]!”

Losing The Niceties Of Self-Importance

| USA | Bizarre

(My job is to sit at the front desk, a kind of helpful concierge, transferring calls, accepting packages. I am there to let people know that the company cares about their problems, and that there’s a human manning the lobby for security.)

Me: “Hello, welcome back.”

Young Man: *flings up his arm* “Don’t talk to me! I’m important!”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. I won’t do that again.”

Balking At Your Talking

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(It is morning, and all the guests are eating breakfast. Since no one is asking for service, I relax and chat with my coworker. A man and woman come up, with annoyed expressions.)

Man: “Hey, you!”

Me: “Yes? Can I help you with something?”

Man: “Yes! You can help by not talking to your friend!”

Me: “You mean, my coworker?”

Woman: “Yes! Her! You’re supposed to work here, not chit chatting! I’ll be telling your manager about you slacking off!”

Man: “What kind of service is this, where the workers just chatter on?”

Me: “Well, I was just talking with my coworker here since there was no one in line or at the counter.”

Man: “No, I don’t want you to do that! It’s very rude!”

Me: “So…  you don’t want me to talk to my coworker?”

Woman: “Yes, exactly! You are here to serve us! Nothing else! You hear me?”

(They storm off, very incensed.)

Manager: “What was that all about?”

(They did complain, and their complaints were laughed off.)