Rabbiting On

| UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Wild & Unruly

(I’m working at my till when an old lady in a wheelchair approaches me. Our rabbit hutches are situated right next to our office that keeps the safe inside.)

Customer: “Hello, dear. I was wondering if you could give me some advice about your rabbit hutches.”

Me: “Of course. Is it just for one rabbit or two?”

Customer: “Oh, it would be two.”

(I take her over to the hutches and show her around explaining the features of each one.)

Customer: “I don’t have much room in my husband’s car and I really need one for today. Do you sell them un-built?”

Me: “I can grab a flat packed one from out the back if you’d like?”

Customer: “Could you bring one out to show me so I can see if it will fit?”

(I run out to our storage area and grab a flat-packed version of the hutch she had asked for. When I bring it out her attitude has completely changed.)

Me: “Here you go. This is the one. It’s really simple to build and will only take ten minutes.”

Customer: “FOR GOD’S SAKE. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GRAB ONE GODD*** ITEM FOR ME?! DON’T BOTHER WITH IT. I’LL JUST GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WHERE THEY DON’T TREAT THEIR CUSTOMERS LIKE S***!”

(I stand there in stunned silence as the customer quickly leaves the store, cursing frequently under her breath. Later on my manager, who ran home from work, couldn’t find his trainers which he leaves in the office. We decide to look on the CCTV to check if anyone has moved them. The video shows me walking off to get the hutch for the customer. When I leave she proceeds to get out of her wheelchair, enter the office (which has a combination lock on it), and try to open the safe. After failing to open it she grabs my manager’s trainers, shoves them in her handbag, and returns to the wheelchair.)

Manager: “Who the h*** was she?”

Me: “I think I almost sold the Devil a rabbit hutch today…”

Their Own Private Joke

| Spain | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Tourists/Travel

(This happens on a class trip to Spain after a girl realizes she left her comb at home.)

Girl: *walks up to front desk* “Do you have any combs?”

Employee: “No hablo Ingles.”

Girl: *in Spanish* “Necesito un pene, por favor.”

Employee: *laughs hysterically*

Girl: *angry* “Hey! Necesito un pene!” *pantomimes brushing hair*

Employee: *realizes what’s going on, takes out comb, and hands it to girl*

Girl: “Sí!”

Employee: “Ese es ‘un peine.'” *That’s ‘un peine.’* “Un pene es:” *points to his privates*

Girl: “Oh. S***!”

A Temporary Hot Pocket

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(I am working at a dollar store. We have a very belligerent couple who are always rude and always bringing their dogs into the store. One day they get a new puppy and the man very obviously tries to hide it in his jacket. We all know about the dog, but wait until they are done paying to say this:)

Me: “Did you know your pocket peed down your front?”

(We haven’t seen them since.)

Can’t Even Save Their Own Skin

| NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a doctor’s office, and am sitting in the nurses station during patient call-backs when I overhear this conversation:)

Nurse: “Hi, this is [Nurse] calling from [Doctor’s Office]. Is [Patient] there?”

Patient: “Yes, speaking.”

Nurse: “I’m calling to let you know that the results of your biopsy are in, and I’m afraid they came back as a skin cancer that needs to be addressed right away. Would you be able to come in for surgery on [date and time two days from now]?”

Patient: “Oh… um, I’m going on vacation then.”

Nurse: “This is a serious problem that needs to be taken care of as soon as possible. Is there any way you can push your vacation start back? You will be able to travel after your procedure without a problem.”

Patient: *getting angry* “Absolutely not! Do you know how much it will cost me to change my tickets? I’m going to Europe for a three month tour!”

Nurse: “You can’t be serious?! This is a cancer that will grow and spread and has the potential to become lethal. I strongly advise that you—”

Patient: “NO! I won’t hear it. You doctor types think that you all have a God complex! Not everything is life or death!”

Nurse: “This actually is! Please, if you can’t commit to an appointment today, call us and make one as soon as possible!”

Patient: “I’ll have nothing to do with this. I’ll get a second opinion! I’ve read the Internet and I know how often you people are wrong just to make an extra buck!” *slams the phone down, ending the call*

(The kicker? The procedure to remove the skin cancer would have taken less than an hour, and she would have been able to hop on her flight to Europe. In the time she said she’d be gone, her grade 2 cancer, which is treatable, had the potential to become a grade 3 or 4 cancer, which would greatly reduce her chances of having it successfully removed, and increase her risk of it spreading to other organs!)

A Bush In The Fridge Is Worth Two In The Bush

Oslo, Norway | Bizarre, Home Improvement, Politics

(I work in the customer service desk at a large store selling domestic appliances. This day one of my ‘regulars’ came in. He’s a really old man – and he seldom files complaints, he just wants to know how his stuff is working, and maybe have a chat.)

Me: “Hello. How may I help you today?”

Customer: *whispering* “There was something wrong with delivery of my fridge. It came with something in it.”

(I pull up his records, and see that he bought one of our display models earlier that week. It’s not seldom other customers leave soda bottles or other stuff in the fridges that’s out on the floor, and I immediately think that is the case.)

Me: “Well, I’m really sorry, sir. But may I ask, exactly what was inside the fridge?”

Customer: *still whispering* “George W. Bush.”

Me: “Excuse me? What?”

Customer: “The American ex-president. The younger one! He was in my fridge and now he’s on my living room floor, all tied up and ready to be shipped back.”

Me: “Shipped back?”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry; I’m not going to have YOU do that, poor thing. I’ve called FedEx. I just wanted to let you know. ”

Me: *not really knowing what I can do, other than play along* “Well, thank you then, sir. And sorry for your trouble. Is the fridge working okay, though?”

Customer: “Oh yeah, it’s totally fine! But you should really stop selling appliances with republicans in them. Could hurt your business.”

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