No Longer Being Paid To Be Nice

| Brighton, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

Me: “It’s 10.50 pm, so last orders, please!”

(Ten minutes later:)

Me: “It’s 11.00 pm. That’s time at the bar now!”

(I go about closing the bar, cleaning, sweeping, taking out the trash and cashing up. Four customers who’ve been chatting for several hours over one and a half beers and lots of glasses of tap water ignore me as I clean around them and tell them that I need to take their glasses.)

Me: “It’s 11.45 pm. Come on. Everyone’s gone, the bar is shut, and I’m not being paid to be here any more. Will you please just go?”

Customer: “I can’t believe how rude you’re being! Let me talk to your manager!”

(They explain how rude I was when I asked them to leave and how I had claimed that I wasn’t being paid to be polite to them now.)

Manager: “He’s right. We’ve been closed for nearly an hour and none of us are being paid to be here now. So get out!”

(I thought I might have overstepped the mark but it’s good to know your manager’s got your back!)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 15

| Leeds, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I am 17 and have finished my shift at a supermarket, and go straight to a consumer electronics shop. I am still wearing my work uniform, which is similar in colour to the shop that I am in. A customer comes up to me, obviously angry, carrying a bag with a laptop in it.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I bought this laptop last week and it has stopped working already. This is disgraceful for a £500 piece of—”

Me: “Sorry, mate, I don’t actually—”

Customer: “Don’t you interrupt me, and I am certainly not your mate. I paid £500 for this and it won’t even turn on now. I want you to fix it right now or—”

Me: “Woah, woah, woah! I don’t actually work—”

Customer: “Listen to me! Fix this now or give me my money back!”

Me: “But you need to speak to someone who actually works at—”

Customer: “Don’t fob me off with this s***. You work here. You sort it out. I’m not going to be passed from one member of staff to the other. This is typical of this company. Employing young, inexperienced idiots who don’t give two f***s!”

Me: “Okay, sir. What I suggest you need to do is get your laptop. Open it up, turn it on, and wait for Windows to load up. Once it has loaded up, we’ll put the recovery disc in. Then, I want you to take your laptop, and stick it up your a**, you ignorant c***.”

Customer: *inaudible explosion of expletives and demands to speak to the manager*

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 14
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 13
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

Think They Can Call All The Shots

| USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(Our office is closed during lunch so that the nurses and receptionists can eat, and the shot clinic isn’t even open on this day. We have signs up on the windows and doors announcing this, but we still have people that try to get in during lunch, shake the doors, and then complain later that the receptionists wouldn’t let them in. As a result, the front office people tend to stay out of sight of the window when the office is closed. Sometimes, we’ve even hidden under the desks to keep patients from thinking we were open. I walk out of my part of the office and freeze. There’s a woman standing at the front door impatiently. I’m not clocked in, so I call for my coworker, who is technically also off the clock.)

Coworker: “Can I help you? ”

Patient: “Where is everyone? The door was locked!”

Coworker: “The office is closed for lunch right now.”

Patient: “I wasn’t sure. That’s why I went around to the back and knocked.”

Me: *shocked* “You… went to the back?”

(The back of the office is the break room and where we park our cars. The patients are not supposed to go back there, and this is the first one that’s been bold enough to try.)

Patient: “Yeah, but nobody answered. I need to get my shot!”

Coworker: ” Ma’am, the shot room is closed.”

Patient: “What? Why?”

Coworker: ” We don’t give shots today.”

Patient: ” Wait, since when have you started doing that?”

Coworker: “… Ma’am, we’ve NEVER given shots on this day of the week.”

Patient: “WELL, YOU SHOULD!”

Closing Time Is Not In Their Books

| Denver, CO, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling the Student Center. How can I help you today?”

Customer: *sighs* “When the h*** does the bookstore close?”

Me: “Let”s see… The bookstore closes at 5:00 pm, sir.”

Customer: “Then why the h*** didn’t they pick up their phone?! I’ve called four times!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it is now 5:47, so the bookstore has been closed for nearly 50 minutes. Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “Well, why the f*** aren’t they open until 6:30?! This is bull-s***!”

Me: “Well, sir, I believe the bookstore has shortened store hours. They will resume normal hours in September. I apologize if this has caused any inconvenience.”

Customer: *breathing heavily and getting worked up* “Well, transfer me to the manager. Jesus Christ!”

Me: “Upon looking online, sir, I see that the manager does not have a direct line. I am sorry, you will have to call the bookstore during normal business hours.”

Customer: “WELL, THE WEBSITE IS WRONG!” *hangs up*

Won’t Be Seen But Definitely Heard

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

(A call comes in a little after 4 pm:)

Customer: “How do I get to your office? We were up by [Hospital] and we didn’t see your building…”

Me: “Ah, we’re actually not near them. But I can get you here from there!”

(I then give them the most complete directions I can for a trip that should only take perhaps fifteen minutes at the most. They thank me and ask if we will be able to see them that day. I assure them that as long as they can get here before five, we can. I’m under the impression that they will only be a few minutes. As time goes on and they don’t show up I assume they have just decided ‘forget it; I’ll go home.’ At a few minutes after five, before I have a chance to even lock the doors for the evening, a troop of three people walk in: our lost patient, expecting that she can get in that day.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m so sorry, but we’re actually closed—”

(The customer’s husband shouts over me, loud enough that the nurses later tell me they could hear him.)

Customer’s Husband: “No! Don’t you listen to her. She told you you could get in! You said she could get seen today!”

Me: *trying to keep my temper* “Actually, sir, what I said was as long as you came in before five pm we could see you.” *to his wife* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but as we’re closed for the day you’ll have to reschedule.”

Customer’s Husband: “No! YOU SAID SHE COULD BE SEEN TODAY! DON’T YOU LISTEN TO HER. YOU’RE GONNA BE SEEN!”

Me: *deciding I can’t fight stupid* “Let me go check with the doctor, and see if we can fit you in.”

(When I got back to the nurse’s station, I managed to catch the doctor coming out of the last patient’s room, and upon explaining the situation he agreed – we wouldn’t bend the rules. When I got back up front to explain the situation, the lady was very polite and understanding, willing to reschedule her appointment to later the next week, while her husband stood back behind her declaring the whole time that we would be seeing her that day because we had said we would. That was the only time I’ve ever had someone argue the closing time with me, and I really hope it doesn’t happen again.)

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