Not Quite Married To The Name Yet

| NB, Canada | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging

(At the hotel where I work we keep our customer’s personal information on file so that they don’t have to repeat it every time they stay.)

Customer: “I’d like to reserve a room for tonight, a double room, and my name is [Customer]. You should have my information on file already.”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. Let me see… I don’t seem to have anything under that name. Is this the name you used last time you stayed with us?”

Customer: “Of course! It’s my name; I always use it. What other name would I use?”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s just that we save the information by name and sometimes a client gives their name when the room was last booked under their spouse’s or parent’s name. Let me try a different spelling. Hmmm, still nothing. Did you stay here recently, as in within the last 12 months?”

Customer: “It’s been less than that. I was here not long ago! How hard can it be to find my information? My name is [Customer].”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t have anything here. In any case I’d be happy to reserve this room for you if you can just give me a telephone number and credit card…”

Customer: “Absolutely not! You have my information and I’m not giving you anything! When I arrive later I expect to have my room ready with my personal information attached. My name is [Customer] and that is all you need. You must obviously be new here.”

Me: “Actually, I’ve been here for two years, ma’am. Unfortunately I do not have access to your profile. I have nothing under the name you provided me, and I’ve even checked various spellings of the name. Are you certain you were here less than 12 months ago? Our system deletes profiles that haven’t been used for 12 months.”

Customer: “I WAS JUST THERE! You are incompetent. I expect you to have my room ready when I arrive and be sure that I will be contacting your manager to have you retrained on how to use your system.” *hangs up*

(Later, the customer comes in to check in and is furious that I still do not have her information on file. After reluctantly giving me at least her credit card number, I get her checked in and provide her with her room keys. As she’s walking away:)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know if it makes a difference but every other time we’ve stayed here we booked under my husband’s name, [Completely Different Name]. Can you find it if you look for that name? I mean, we were just here on [gives a date over three years ago]. You should have it.”

Me: *trying not to bang my head on the desk* “I’ll take a look in the system, ma’am. Have a nice evening.”

Customer: “I will when you learn to navigate your own computer system.”

Sugar-Coating The Prices

| Lincolnshire, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(An elderly lady asks to see our wine list:)

Customer: “Do you have any house white wines that are sweet?”

Me: “No. Unfortunately our two house white wines are both dry wines. However we do have this [slightly more expensive] sweet white wine. Would you like a glass of that?”

Customer: “No, no. Just bring me a glass of this house white wine and two packets of sugar.”

Gave Them A Rude Awakening

| USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests

(I work in the parts department of a tractor dealership. The wife of a local greenhouse owner (who I am unaware has a reputation as a real b****) comes in to pick up some small parts that are in will-call. The transaction goes smoothly; the parts are already pulled and on the shelf waiting for her. I give her the parts, she pays, and leaves. On Monday morning, the lady calls on the phone and demands to talk to the owner.)

Owner: “Good morning! How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to complain about how I was treated when I came in on Saturday to get my parts! [My Name] was rude to me!”

(The owner knows I had worked the previous Saturday, and I have a reputation for being courteous and polite. He puts the customer on hold, and calls me into his office to ask me about the encounter. I describe the smooth transaction that had occurred. He asks me to wait and went back to the call.)

Owner: “[My Name] was rude to you? I have trouble believing that.”

Customer: “Yes, he was discourteous and rude.”

Owner: “I’ll tell you what, Mrs. [Customer]. There are two other dealers in town that you can buy your parts from in the future. Frankly, the $300 in parts we sell you yearly isn’t worth all the grief you give me. In the future, please take your business elsewhere.” *hangs up, turns to me and says* “That’s how we deal with that.”