Sorry That We Could Not Inconvenience You Today

| Right | December 16, 2015

Senior Discount Time

| Right | December 16, 2015

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Do You See Me Telling You How To Shop?!

| Right | December 16, 2015

Seat Location Scores A ‘D’

| London, England, UK | Right | December 16, 2015

(I am a flight attendant and covering the rear doors on a large aircraft during boarding to help customers settle in. Seats are fairly simply set out using ABC-DEFG-HJK layout. A customer calls me from the far aisle.)

Customer: “Hey! Where’s 38E?”

Me: “The seats are in alphabetical, so ‘E’ would be that one.”

(I point and smile, counting through the alphabet so he can see exactly which seats are which.)

Customer: *pointing to 38D* “so is it this one?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, no. It’s the one next to it. There’s also a diagram of the row on the overhead locker with the seats’ letters.”

(The customer nods and begins to sit in the wrong seat so I help him by patting the correct seat over the aisle, by the time I get back to my door at the rear of the aircraft two gentlemen are laughing between themselves.)

Gentleman #1: “I think your explanation was idiot proof…”

Gentleman #2: “But obviously people check their brains with their luggage!”

Me: “I’m so glad I’m not the only one that sometimes thinks that!”

(Those gents made my flight and I made sure they got some extra bits for making a painful flight bearable!)

Time Flies When You’re Having Run Of The Place

| ID, USA | Right | December 16, 2015

(We have a two-hour time limit on our computers, to ensure that everyone who needs a computer gets a chance at one. If someone is doing homework, taxes, looking for employment, etc., I can stretch the time limit, but kids who come in just to watch YouTube or play games are kept to the two-hour limit.)

Girl: “I want a computer, please.”

Me: “All right, you’re on Computer #1. Remember there’s a two hour time limit.”

Girl: “I KNOW! Geez. You don’t have to tell me every time!”

(This girl comes in regularly to watch YouTube videos, and that’s her reaction every time I remind her of the time limit. Finally, one day she comes in and I figure I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.)

Girl: “I want a computer.”

Me: “All right, Computer #1.” *decide not to remind her of the rule, as she’s insisted she knows it*

(My shift ends before her time limit is up, so I remind her as I leave that she has ten minutes left. She comes in the next day.)

Girl: “I want a computer.”

Me: “All right, hop on Computer #1. Remember, there’s a two-hour time limit.”

Girl: “Oh, nobody told me that yesterday, so I was on for like, five hours.”

Me: “…I told you that you had ten minutes left. Also, the time limit applies whether or not I remind you of it.”

Girl: “Well, nobody told me so I thought it didn’t apply.”

Me: *internally head-desking*

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