Roundup: The Most Punny Stories Of The Week

| Not Always Right | Right | December 12, 2015

This week, Not Always Right and Punnify have teamed up to bring you 10 punny story titles!

Let the “pun” begin!

PS – see more puns at Punnify!

When A Rude Customer Never Comes Back

| Right | December 12, 2015

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12 Ways To Survive Working During The Holidays

| Right | December 12, 2015
1. Drown out mind-numbing holiday songs by singing your own.

Quick tip: we’ve found Weird Al’s hilarious The Night Santa Went Crazy to be the perfect substitute for the highpitched-hell known as the Chipmunks Christmas song.

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2. Get into the holiday spirit.

There’s something to be said for bringing tidings of comfort and joy. A simple smile can go a long way for a stressed-out customer. And like grandpa always said, if the holiday spirit fails, drink holiday spirits instead.

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3. Let there be peace on earth, or at least on your shift.

Sometimes keeping calm is the best way to deal with an irate customer. And if that doesn’t work, it can be fun to keep score how many times they flip out while you keep calm.

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4. Help your coworkers — new hires and veterans alike.

Tis the season to hire seasonal employees, so it’s important for everyone to pitch in. The holidays can be grueling, but camraderie borne out of a common struggle can last a lifetime.

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5. Shoes, Socks, and Soles.

Necessary if your job requires walking or standing for long hours. Shoes – make sure they’re supportive and the right size. Socks – these need to be comfy, dry, and if you’re outside, warm. Also bring an extra pair to change. Soles – gel insoles or inserts can make a huge difference for any shoe.

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6. You are not alone!

Coworkers, friends, and family can help you get through the holiday season. Looking for more? You can also hang out on our official Facebook page with thousands of employees and workers who understand what you’re going through.

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7. Be prepared for the Christmas Eve rush.

Common sense dictates that all your gift shopping should be done by now and it’s plain sailing from now to the holidays. There’s just one problem; since when did customers have common sense?

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8. “It’s such a shame that you have to work during the Holidays!”

You will get at least one customer that will say this to you on the day. It is an attempt at empathizing with your situation, despite them being oblivious to the fact that by shopping on the Holidays they are the very reason you’re working in the first place. Just take a breath, smile, and do NOT say the first thing that comes to mind!

Beautiful Mixed Race Woman Wearing Winter Hat and Gloves Isolated on a White Background.

9. Avoid social media!

If customers saying it’s a shame you’re working during the Holidays is bad, seeing your friends and family get to do it all over social media is worse. Turn it off, and don’t think about it until your shift is over! (The Not Always Right FB page is an exception, of course!)

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10. Diets are for the New Year!

It’s NOT the season to eat a salad. Bring along some decadent snacks, or a delicious home-cooked special meal if you had the time. Comfort food is very well named for this reason!

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11. Sometimes being at home can be overrated.

Of course we’d all love to be home with our families during the Holidays. Sometimes, however, it might be more bearable to remember that annoying bratty cousin that never leaves you alone, or that grumbling grandparents who always finds something to moan about. Grumpy customers are temporary, grumpy relatives are for life!

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12. You’re making someone’s Holiday Wishes come true.

By taking one for the team, you’re letting other’s Holiday wishes come true, spending time with their loved ones and families. Know that you’re doing a good deed, and who knows, next time it might be your turn!

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Has A Pen-chant For Stabbing Motions

| Perth, WA, Australia | Right | December 12, 2015

(I’m a salesperson in the photography and IT industries. I like to ask questions to make sure I can recommend the right solution. It saves a lot of time for both me and the client and ensures that there are no nasty surprises later on. A man has asked me to provide some advice for a new computer & accessories for his wife.)

Customer: “Here’s a list of all the things my wife wants. Can you do all this?”

Me: “I’m sure we can help, sir. Let me look over the list and ask you a few questions to make sure I’ve covered everything”

(I review the list, which seems straight-forward, and ask a few questions to clarify the requirements. Things are progressing smoothly until we reach the installation part of the checklist.)

Customer: “So can you come out and set it all up?”

Me: “One of our technicians will be able to do that for you, sir, but please be aware that we charge $150/hour for this service.”

Customer: “I don’t care about the price, I just want to know if YOU can do it or not.”

Me: “Well, I personally can’t but one of our techs will definitely be able to provide that service.”

Customer: “What? I didn’t ask if YOU could do it.”

Me: “Sorry, I misunderstood what you meant, but yes, one of our techs can do the install.”

Customer: “I meant YOU as in the company, not YOU as an individual. You DO represent the company, don’t you?”

(During this conversation the client has been gesturing towards my face while holding a biro, emphasising his words with a stabbing motion. He is only standing 1m away from me so the pen is very close to my face.)

Me: “Sir, can you please stop pointing your pen at my face?”

Customer: “What? Don’t be silly. I’m NOT pointing it at you; I’m just talking!”

(He makes a stabbing motion at my face while saying this.)

Me: “Please stop stabbing your pen at me. I don’t like it.”

Customer: “What? Never mind, this is obviously too hard. Don’t worry about it. I’m going elsewhere!”

(I try to clear up the misunderstanding but he has gotten so worked up that he just storms off, muttering under his breath. Another customer, who is a regular, has seen and heard the whole exchange.)

Regular Customer: “I thought you were very polite! I was impressed that you were calm throughout that conversation.”

Me: “Thanks, [Regular Customer]. I appreciate that.”

Regular Customer: “What was his problem, exactly? Strange man.”

Me: “Who knows? Maybe he just doesn’t like being told not to do something.”

Bartering Bars At The Bar

| Norway | Right | December 12, 2015

(I work as a bouncer in a pub and overhear the following while standing behind the bar.)

Girl: “One beer, please.”

Bartender: “That will be 86 kroner.”

(She puts her card in the terminal.)

Bartender: “The transaction was declined; do you have another card or cash?”

Girl: *pours out five nutria-bars from her purse* “Will this be enough?”

(Not surprisingly, I had to throw her out a few minutes later.)

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