Common Sense Isn’t In The Cards

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a grocery store that has a club card for ‘extra’ savings. Two customers come up with a six-case of wine. I ring them up.)

Me: “Ma’am, do you have a club card?”

Customer #1: “What is this?! You are charging me too much! Fix it!”

Me: “If you just swipe your club card, the price will drop. Do you have one?”

Customer #1: “You are overcharging me! Give me my money!”

Me: *calmly* “Do you have a club card?”

Customer #1: “I said give me the correct price NOW!”

Me: “Ma’am, you need to put in your club card number for the discount. Do you have—”

Customer #2: “Listen, girl, just give us the correct price!” *begins screaming in unison with friend*

Me: *being interrupted every other word* “I cannot give it to you without a club card. Would you like to sign up for one?”

(Eventually, I beckon my manager over and end up using one of our spare cards to show them the discount. He smoothes things over, but not before one of them tells him that I should be more polite. He pulls me aside to ask what happened.)

Me: “They wouldn’t let me even explain that they needed a club card for their discount.”

Boss: “Well, next time, just swipe it. And remember, just because you and I have common sense doesn’t mean they do.”

Very Slow To Register

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Time

(I’m heading to the only open checkout lane of a supermarket. A man in his mid-thirties, visibly in a rush and carrying only a single carton of milk, gets there only a moment after a little old lady carrying a basket with only two items in it.)

Old Lady: “Don’t worry, young man. I’ll be done very quickly.”

Man: *fidgeting* “No problem. Take your time.”

(The cashier rings up both items. The old lady whips out a coupon.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but this coupon is for a different brand of this item.”

Lady: “Oh, dear. Can you send somebody to switch it out for me?”

(It’s a few minutes before a stock-boy shows up with the correct brand. The man is getting more and more antsy and frustrated as he watches the cashier void the previous item and ring up the new one.)

Cashier: “That’ll be [new total].”

Old Lady: “Oh, dear. I almost forgot. I have another coupon here.”

(It’s a manufacturer’s coupon. It doesn’t go through and takes a manager to come and help the cashier ring it in. By now the man’s face is turning red and he’s practically gnawing on his wallet out of frustration from waiting.)

Cashier: “I’m so sorry, sir. We’re almost done.”

Man: “Yep, no problem.”

Cashier: *to old lady* “Okay, the total is [newest total].”

Old Lady: *looking through her purse* “Oh, dear…” (A moment later she produces a checkbook.)

Old Lady: “Who do I make it out to?”

Man: *screaming* “God d*** it!”

(With that, he hurls the carton of milk at a wall, where it explodes and sends milk cascading all over the wall and the front of the store.  The man storms out leaving a stream of profanity in his wake. We all watch this in stunned silence. A few moments later the old lady pulls her hand out of her pocket.)

Old Lady: “Oh, never mind. Here’s a $5 bill. Had it all along! Silly me…”

Done With This Business

| Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I am second in line at a deli. Deli servers aren’t allowed to stop serving someone unless they’re absolutely sure a customer is done.)

Deli Worker: *to first customer* “That’s 500 grams. Is that all today?”

Customer: *playing with phone, says nothing*

Deli Worker: *turns, wraps the item, and hands it to the customer* “Is that all today?”

Customer: *not looking up, slowly walks away*

(The worker’s eyes follow the customer until she’s completely out of the line.)

Deli Worker: “Aaaaaand… that’s a yes.” *turns to me, mirroring my bemused face* “Hi.”

Just Grit Your Teeth And Smile

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

Customer: *looking over a menu* “Anything on your menu can be made vegan, right?”

Me: “Well, most of it. Actually if it can be there will be a capital V next to the name.”

Customer: “So the grits are vegan?”

Me: “No, but they can be made vegetarian.”

Customer: “I’ll have the grits.”

Me: “They’re vegetarian, not vegan.”

Customer: “You’ve had the grits for awhile?”

Me: “Yes and they’re not vegan.”

Customer: “I’d like the grits.”

Me: *sighs*

A Text In The Wrong Direction

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Could you tell me how to get to [attraction in another area of the park]?”

Me: *gives detailed directions to the attraction*

Customer: “I’m sorry. I got a text while you were talking. Could you repeat that?”

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