Not Charged In A Year

| Right | August 29, 2015

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His Logic Has Checked Out

| CO, USA | Right | August 29, 2015

(I am working at the front desk at about 10 pm. An older gentleman approaches.)

Me: “How can I help you? ”

Guest: “I want to check out now.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Why leaving so early?”

Guest: “Oh, I’m still going to be in the room till tomorrow morning.”

Me: “…Then I’m sorry, sir. I can’t check you out tonight, as our system would then tell us your room would be vacant.”

Guest: “But I want to check out now! Not tomorrow morning.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do that. See, what room are you in?”

Guest: “Room 000.”

Me: “So, if I check you out now and another person comes in and wants a room, I can say ‘Sure! Room 000 is open.’ You understand?”

Guest: “But I don’t want to do it tomorrow! I want to check out now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you can’t check out until you’re leaving the hotel.”

Guest: “Well, I can see I’m getting nowhere.” *stomps off talking about how stupid I am*

Coworker: “Maybe we should send another guest to 000 and when he yells at us for THAT tell him we checked him out like he asked.”

A Very Scrambled Shortbus

| IL, USA | Right | August 29, 2015

(I’m the a**-hole in this story. After drinking far too much, a bunch of buddies and I go to this breakfast place. I don’t really want to go, but my buddies insist, so I am barely awake when the waitress comes up to us.)

Waitress: “All right, fellas, what can I get for you?”

(My friends order, then she gets to me.)

Waitress: “And for you?”

Me: “Hmm?”

Waitress: “Food? Mouth? Yours. You know. Restaurant stuff.”

Me: “Oh! Right, sorry. Eggs and bacon, please.”

Waitress: “How you want those eggs, hon?”

Me: “Orange juice.”

Waitress: “Oh… ‘shortbus.’ Your name’s ‘shortbus’ now. I’ll be back with your Orange Juice Eggs.”

Me: “Oh, god! No! Scrambled! I meant scrambled!”

Can Finally Hear What You’re Saying

| UK | Right | August 29, 2015

(I am a volunteer working for a charity which provides hearing support for the deaf community. We hold outreach clinics in various health centres, providing hearing aid batteries and general maintenance as well as advice. All our services are completely free of charge, and clinics are on a walk-in basis which means when we are busy patients have to wait for quite a while to be seen. This doesn’t always go down well. My next patient is an elderly lady who scowls at me and huffs angrily as she comes into the room.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Lady: “My hearing aids are all muffled. I’ve been waiting for over an hour!”

Me: “Sorry about that, it’s busy today.”

Lady: “Well, it shouldn’t take an hour to be seen.”

Me: “Okay… Well, sorry, I’m on my own—”

Lady: “You’re always on your own. They never send more than one person.”

Me: “Er, yes, I’m the only one who covers this area—”

Lady: “They need to get more workers, then. This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Well, they only have the people that actually want to do the work—”

Lady: “They need to offer more pay or something. They obviously need more people!”

Me: *laughing* “Um, they don’t offer any pay, actually. We’re all volunteers.”

Lady: “Yes, well, but… you get expenses.”

Me: “I don’t get a penny, not even travel expenses. I walk here.”

Lady: “Well, if they don’t pay you anything why do you do it?”

Me: “I just like to spend my time helping people who need it. I don’t get paid, so the charity can keep doing these clinics for free. Now, did you want me to look at your hearing aids for you?”

Lady: *looking embarrassed* “Yes, please…”

(This happens fairly regularly, unfortunately.)

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No Vocation For Location, Part 10

| Oklahoma City, OK , USA | Right | August 28, 2015

(I work at a veterinary hospital that is part of a chain located inside a popular pet supply store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Vet]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Ya, this is the office at [our location], isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

Customer: “I was wondering about your other locations. Can you tell me where they are?”

Me: “I can do that for you. Was there a particular location or area you were interested in?”

Customer: “Ya, where is your 63rd & May location?”

Me: “…Ma’am?”

Customer: “Ya, where is your 63rd & May location?”

Me: “Um, it’s up on May Street at about 63rd Street.”

Customer: “Great! Thank you for your help!”

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 9
No Vocation For Location, Part 8
No Vocation For Location, Part 7

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