Cash-Backtrack

| QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(I’m the supervisor in charge for the night and am standing right behind my coworker. The bank situated right next to us recently moved and they didn’t even leave an ATM, so we get lots of people who only want to withdraw money.)

Customer: “I would like to withdraw money, please.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we do not offer this service. If you want to withdraw money, you need to buy something.”

Customer: “But I don’t need anything. I just want money.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am, but it costs us money when people take cash back, so we can’t accept any withdrawal if you do not purchase something.”

(The customer insists she doesn’t want to buy anything and I can see my coworker starting to lose patience. So I turn around to face the customer.)

Me: “We’ll charge you for a plastic bag. It’s only a nickel. Withdraw as much money as you want.”

Customer: “Finally!”

(My coworker gives me an annoyed look, but he proceeds with the transaction. As soon as the transaction is done with and the woman gets her money, she looks up at my coworker.)

Customer: “I almost forgot! I’ll take a $2.00 lottery ticket!”

A Simple Solution Is Just The Ticket

| Red Bluff, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: *calling my office phone* “My scanner hasn’t worked for two weeks! Why haven’t you fixed it yet?”

(I glance at my computer, checking my tickets. Nothing in this person’s name.)

Me: “Have you called a ticket in? What is the ticket number?”

Customer: “I don’t have time for that!”

Me: “Well, luckily, I have a gap between appointments and can come over to look at it now.”

(I head over.)

Customer: “See? Nothing.”

Me: “How long has it been unplugged?”

The Key(s) To Customer Service

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I usually work the electronics department, but I’ve stepped into the main toy section to show a customer where an item is located. Another customer gets my attention.)

Customer: “Can you tell me where [line of dolls] are?”

Me: “I’m not familiar with those dolls, but if we do carry them, they’ll be in [aisle numbers].”

Customer: “Well, the other girl said that you don’t have them!”

Me: “We probably don’t, then. It’s been a very busy morning and we’re sold out of a lot of popular items.”

Customer: “Can’t you look it up on that doodad of yours?”

(The customer gestures at the set of keys in my hand, which have a large black magnetic key attached to them.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid I don’t have my handheld scanner, but if you give me a moment I can go to the electronics department—”

Customer: “No, that doodad in your hand!”

Me: *as gently as possible* “Ma’am, these are my keys, not my handheld.”

Customer: “I have had it with this store! This is the worst customer service! I will inform your manager that you refused to serve me!”

(Later, my manager drops by.)

Manager: “Did you try to help a very grumpy old woman?”

Me: “Yeah, and she was mad that I couldn’t use my keys to look up an item.”

Manager: “I’m not surprised. She complained about you, and then wanted me to help her find a doll in an ad. I pointed out that it was an ad for a competitor and that the doll was marked as that [Competitor]’s exclusive item. She told me she’d just come from there and they didn’t have any more, so what was I going to do about it? I told her nothing, since we’re not [Competitor]. Last I saw she was leaving her cart and walking out of the store complaining about how employees these days have no sense of what customer service really means.”

A Premature Point Of View

| Courtenay, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

(I work the front desk of a smaller hotel, where all of our rooms face the ocean; meaning the front entrance of the units are motel style in the back, edging onto a wooded area with the sliding glass doors all facing the waters edge. A guest we had just checked about 10 minutes ago comes back to the desk FURIOUS. I overhear the exchange between him and my coworker…)

Guest: “I was told my room had an OCEAN VIEW! You people are NOT advertising correctly. This is false advertising!”

Coworker: “Sir, I assure you you ARE in one of our beachfront units. In fact, it really doesn’t get much more ‘beachfront!'”

Guest: “Yeah, well, I can assure YOU that my room is NOT facing the water! I am not paying this much money to stare at some trees!”

(At this point we’re all dumbfounded as to why this guest claims his room doesn’t have a view, as it’s physically impossible for it not to. At this point, my coworker clues in.)

Coworker: “… Sir, did you actually ENTER the room yet?”

Guest: “No, but the building is surrounded by trees. There’s no ocean or beach in sight!”

(As soon as the guest actually WENT INTO the room, to his surprise, he found a gorgeous ocean view and had no further complaints!)

Read Your Food For Thoughts

| Somerset, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

(I work Saturdays at a local pub and it tends to be a very quiet shift. The chef comes up to the bar to check the evening’s reservations just as a customer is ordering.)

Customer: “Can I have the ham and tomato baguette, but no tomato?”

(I look to the chef and he nods.)

Me: “Certainly.” *hits button for ham and tomato baguette* “What table was that?”

Customer: “Table six.”

(The chef leaves, giving me a thumbs up so I know he knows what to do.)

Me: “Okay that’s [price].”

Customer: *handing over the money* “Don’t you have to write a note?”

Me: “A note?”

Customer: “On the till, don’t you have to write a note letting the chef know?”

Me: *hands them their change* “No, he already knows.”

Customer: “How? Is he psychic?”

Me: “He was the guy that was just up here. He heard you.”

Customer: *walking away, muttering* “More fun when I thought he was psychic.”

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