Business Center Is Out Of Business

| USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Technology, Wild & Unruly

(The door to our business center is always closed and locked to keep out non-guests who have, in the past, put viruses on the computers. To open it, the guest must ask the front desk. There is a sign.)

Guest: *tries to open the door* “Come ON!”

Me: “Sir—”

(The guest begins punching the door so violently that the door and door lock instantly break. As if nothing has happened, the guest wanders back to the front desk.)

Guest: “The business center door is broken.”

Me: “Gee, I wonder why…”

Lucky In Card(ed)s

, | Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

Waitress: “What would you like to drink?”

Me: “I’ll have a rum and Coke.”

Friend: “I’ll have Guinness.”

Waitress: “May I see some ID?”

(My friend and I look at each other in shock. I am just shy of turning 50 and my friend is in his mid-50s, and we both have classic male pattern baldness. There isn’t a chance on earth either of us could be confused with being minors.)

Me: “Are you serious?”

Waitress: *looking a bit embarrassed* “It’s policy.”

(Generally, policy is to card people who look 30 or under. We don’t even look close to that. My friend is from England where carding is basically non-existent.)

Friend: “Young lady, I have never once been carded in my entire life. Congratulations, you are the very first.”

Crime Has Reached A Tipping Point

, | YK, Canada | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m at a local fair selling my arts and crafts. One of the things I do is make pins on the spot for people, and I have a sample of each pin design on display on a board. They’re very popular with kids as they’re only $2 each, so there are a few kids at the table. Most are pretty young, but this one was about 10.)

Older Kid: “Can I have a pin of [design]?”

Me: “Sure! $2 please!”

Older Kid: *puts a $5 bill on the table*

Me: “Okay, just one second. Let me just make it for you!”

(I make the pin, and then hand it to the kid and pick up the $5.)

Me: “Here you go, kiddo! Let me just get you your change!”

Older Kid: “Thanks!” *he looks at the board, then suddenly grabs a display pin and RUNS from the table*

Husband: *sitting next to me* “… Did he just steal a pin?”

Me: *holds up the $5 bill* “Looks more like he tipped us!”

Trying Your Patients

| New Zealand | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

Charge Nurse: “Hello.”

Caller: “Is Mr [Name] one of your patients?”

Charge Nurse: “Yes. Why?”

Caller: “He’s in the gynaecology ward. Please retrieve him.”

Charge Nurse: “How did he get there? He needs one assist just to walk around his bed!”

Caller: “Well, either the dementia made him forget he couldn’t walk or he’s just been alone for too long in life.”

Charge Nurse: “Pardon me? I’m sure he’s just in his bed in his room”

Caller: “Look, just come and get him. He took the elevator up four floors, found the gynae ward, walked into a room with a cervical smear in progress, and asked if he could be of assistance.”

Charge Nurse: “…”

Brought Her Baggage With Her

| Sacramento, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I am currently checking out a customer with a $130 order. Another customer comes up behind her with one item and I tell the first customer that I will check the second customer out first before I continue to help her. Big mistake.)

Customer #1: “Why? That doesn’t make any sense! I was here first!”

Me: “It will only take a moment, ma’am. She only has one item.”

Customer #1: “Whatever.” *rolls her eyes and scoffs at me*

Customer #2: “No, really it’s okay. I can wait.”

Me: “It’s not a problem. Once I help you, I can focus on helping this customer bag.”

Customer #1: “Help me bag? You WILL bag!”

Me: *speechless*

(I keep quiet at this point so I don’t say something I regret. I help Customer #2 out and she leaves. Things are tense now between me and Customer #1. I am already bagging her items. My manager comes over to try and defuse the situation’)

Customer #1: “I’m glad you’re here, since apparently SHE needs help.”

(My manager and I bagged her items and got her out of there. She was the worst customer I had ever had to deal with since I had been working at that store.)

Page 942/3,079First...940941942943944...Last