He Needs To Be Taken Outside And Quartered

| NH, USA | Right | October 1, 2015

(It’s Black Friday and the line has never shortened or ended since we opened.)

Customer: “Hey, I was wondering if you guys sell World of Warcraft subscriptions?”

Me: “Yes, we do. The cards are over there on that carousel. They only come in a two-month pack, though, so it’ll be $29.99. Is that all right?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that’s perfect. It means I can get rid of these!”

(At this he takes out a GIGANTIC zip-lock bag of quarters and plops it on the counter in front of me. I stare at it in disbelief for a second and look helplessly at my supervisor… but he’s staring helplessly, too. In fact, the rest of my coworkers and most of the Black Friday line are staring.)

Coworker: “You don’t happen to have an alternate form of payment, do you?”

Customer: *cheerfully and blissfully unaware of the several withering glares being sent his way* “Nope!”

(I had no choice but to count out $30 in quarters in the middle of Black Friday. Ten minutes later, after he gets his subscription, picks up his giant zip-lock bag, and leaves, the next customer comes up with an aghast look on his face.)

Next Customer: “It’s Black Friday, for f***s sake! Who DOES that?!”

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Getting An Icy Reception

| Columbia, MO, USA | Right | October 1, 2015

(I am a residential advisor in a dormitory at my university. The dorm that I work at also has a dining hall attached to it. We recently had a lot of snow so as RAs we have to shovel during the late hours. We also have a late night dining offering that closes at 1 am. But, due to the weather it, closes at 11 pm.)

Student: *student tries to open locked door into building and notices me shoveling*  “Hey, could you let us in?”

Me: “Are you trying to get into the dining hall?”

Student: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, they actually closed at 11.”

Student: “Don’t lie to me; I know it is open until 1!”

Me: “Due to the weather it closed at 11.”

Student: “Don’t lie to me. JUST LET US IN!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t let people who don’t live here into the dorm area.”

Student: “Just this one time you can. I just want to see if the dining hall is open.”

Me: *a little irritated because it is snowing and it’s 12 am* “CLEARLY the lights are off in the dining hall, meaning that it is CLOSED. I CANNOT let you in.”

Student: *walking away with an attitude* “Ugh, I still don’t believe you.”

There Are No Rules

| Right | October 1, 2015

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Hold That Note

| Norway | Right | October 1, 2015

(The computers at work are very slow, and while on the phone with a customer, this happens:)

Caller: *asking for information about her dog*

Me: “I can look it up for you on the computer, but it will take a little while, because our system is a bit slow.”

Me: *humming on a song while typing*

Caller: “Wow, you make your own hold music.”

Do Or Do Not

| Right | September 30, 2015

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