That’s One For The Books

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Books & Reading

(A customer drives up to the store, gets out, comes in, and walks directly up to the counter without looking at a single book or item for sale. Before I can even welcome him…)

Customer: “You are going to lose your job.”

Me: *shocked* “I am?”

Customer: “No one likes books anymore. Your store is going to shut down and you’ll be out of a job.”

(He turned around, walked out without looking at a single item, jumped in his car, and left.)

A Creepily Patient Patient

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work as a tech. I’m going up front to hand a file to the receptionist for a check out. There is a man about 20 years older than me talking to the receptionist.)

Him: “Hey…” *does that smile that says ‘heeeyyyy’*

Me: “Hi. I hope you haven’t been waiting too long. Do you need anything or are you waiting for the doctor?”

Him: “No, I am juuuuusst fine.” *creepily looking me up and down*

(I leave, do some things in the back and come back out to get the next patient which isn’t him. He is still standing there. The receptionist pulls me aside and hands me a note that has his name and number on it.)

Me: “What is this?”

Receptionist: “He is into you. He wants to know how old you are and if you are single.”

Me: “He is way too old for me. I’m not interested.”

(I hope he’ll just leave me alone if I don’t talk to him unless necessary. He waits around for a good hour. Because of the layout of the hospital, I have to cross the lobby a number of times. Each time, he stands in the doorway so I have to walk past him.)

Him: “Give me your number.”

Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry.”

(I keep walking. I’m not very good at telling people straight out that I’m not interested. A few days later… he has come back once on my day off and left when he finds out I am not working.)

Receptionist: “I’m glad you didn’t give him your number. This guy is crazy!”

Me: “What happened?”

Receptionist: “He sat and waited in the parking lot to see if you would come out. When I did, he got my husband’s number off the truck.” *he sold diet products from home and had an advertisement on her truck*

Receptionist: “He called me every day for three days asking if you were going to give him your number!”

Me: “I’ll take care of it. I’m so sorry!”

(I called him from the work phone, so he wouldn’t have my number, and told him to leave us both alone. We never heard from him again.)

Dude Needs Some Sleep

| Big Rapids, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I’m working on register at about eight am when a middle-aged woman walks in. She is quite intoxicated.)

Customer: “I slept in the woods last night.”

Me: “Okay? How can I help you?”

Customer: “I had to put this flower in my hair because they said I looked like a dude. I’m not a dude. Do you think I look like a dude?”

Me: “No… What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I need cigarettes. But they made me sleep outside in the woods. I don’t know where. But they kept calling me a dude!”

(I ring up her cigarettes hoping she leaves soon.)

Customer: “It’s like that song. Dude looks like a lady. Except the opposite. Lady looks like a dude. I’M NOT A DUDE!”