Unless You Want To Hire Santa But He’s Expensive

| Right | December 23, 2015

Reaching New Heights Of Christmas Confusion

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | December 23, 2015

(As it is December, our store has various different kinds of Christmas trees for sale. We have one of each model fully assembled for display.)

Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me if this is the four-foot tree or the six-foot tree?”

(She points to a small Christmas tree that is level with my chest. I am about 5’11”.)

Me: “That’s definitely the four-foot tree.”

Customer: “Are you sure that it’s the four-foot tree? It’s definitely not the six-foot tree?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, that tree is definitely four feet tall.”

Customer: “How can you be sure?”

Me: “Because a six-foot tree would be taller than me.”

Customer: “Oh! I can’t believe I said that!”

(The customer’s husband, who was with us the whole time and has never spoken a word, was trying his hardest not to laugh.)

Walking Home For Christmas

| MO, USA | Right | December 23, 2015

(It’s the holiday season, and we’re at a crowded store when we overhear this conversation.)

Lady: “Excuse me, can you tell me where to find [item]?”

Worker: *gives directions* “Here, let me show you—”

Lady: “That’s all right. I’m sure you’ve walked about twenty miles already today.” *walks off before the worker can respond*

Worker: *somewhat to herself, smiling* “Yes, I have.”

(Needless to say, my mom and I were quite impressed with this lady!)

More Than A Touch Of Obnoxiousness

| GA, USA | Right | December 23, 2015

(It’s near to closing time, and I’m at the front counter alone while my coworker takes a bathroom break. A woman comes in with a man, presumably her boyfriend; she goes upstairs while the man browses near the desk. I hear a guitar-like sound and look up to see that the man is strumming on a homemade banjo-like instrument which is labeled, ‘PLEASE DO NOT PLAY.’)

Me: “Sir, please don’t touch that.”

Man: *politely* “I’m sorry. I thought it was for sale.”

Me: “It is, but the dealer put that sign on it because it’s really fragile.”

Man: “Okay. Sorry.”

(The man wanders off upstairs. My coworker returns, and I gather up the paperwork to do the end-of-day report in the office. As I head back, the woman comes stomping down the stairs with the man behind her. She brandishes a small glass lamp.)

Woman: *angrily* “I TOUCHED this, but since I’m BUYING it, I guess it’s okay, right?”

Me: *stunned* “Ma’am, we don’t mind at all, but sometimes dealers put signs on more delicate or expensive items to help prevent accidents. I’m sorry.”

(The lady proceeds to the counter. I put the paperwork in the office and return to the front, sensing that the customer will be trouble. Sure enough, the woman is muttering under her breath and glaring. I help my coworker wrap the lamp and give it to the woman. She and the man make their way toward the door. My coworker, who is a sweet elderly lady and perfectly polite, notices that the customer has left her receipt crumpled on the counter.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, you forgot your receipt!”

Woman: *whirls to face us* “No, I don’t WANT it. You can put it in the TRASH, along with that piece of s*** over there!” *points at the instrument*

Me: “…Have a wonderful day. And a Merry Christmas.”

Woman: “Yeah, yeah, you too!” *leaves*

(The man never said a word!)

Likes Dem Apples Very Much

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Right | December 23, 2015

(I work in a Midwest grocery store chain, known for helpful smiles. One of our regulars, a single mother of four, has come to my register with a large amount of groceries.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Regular: “Oh, we’re good. Celebrating [Youngest Son]’s birthday tomorrow.”

Me: “Oh, is that what this awesome birthday cake is for?”

(She nods, then chats idly with the young man in line behind her, who is a college student. After loading everything onto the belt, she looks at her oldest son and gives him her EBT card, as well as some cash while she runs to check on something. After she’s left the register, the man behind her speaks up.)

Male Customer: *to me* “Miss? I’d like to cover these folk’s groceries today.”

(I pause, as this has never happened before.)

Me: “I’m sorry; can you repeat that, sir?”

Customer: “I’d like to get this family’s groceries for them today. But on the down low. Anonymously, you know?”

(I nod, and he turns to the children.)

Customer: “Hey, don’t tell your mom, okay? I’m gonna cover your groceries for you today. Merry Christmas!”

(All four children are rather shocked, as am I, as the bill continues to grow larger. Once I ring everything up, I give him the total.)

Me: “All right. Well, sir, since you said you were going to cover it, it’s going to be $85 and change today.”

Customer: *nods, then adds his bag of apples before turning to the oldest child* “Here, I heard you say you wanted some apples, but your mom said you couldn’t get them today.”

(I add them to the total, and he slides his card only moments before the mother returns. This has all happened in less than two minutes.)

Me: “All right, here’s your receipt, ma’am, and have a Merry Christmas. And have a Happy Birthday, [Youngest Son].”

(My regular nods, smiles, glances between me and the male customer for a moment, then her children, then walks off. I start to ring up the male customer’s groceries, telling him how kind and generous I think he’s been when the mother comes back.)

Regular: “Wait, what just happened?”

Customer: *explains to the mother, whose eyes get wider as he speaks* “So, have a Merry Christmas, miss, and tell your son I said Happy Birthday.”

Regular: “Seriously? I mean, you really did that?”

(Customer nods.)

Regular: “Oh, my lord. Thank you. You don’t know what this means to my family. Thank you so much, and Merry Christmas to you, too!”

(She heads back to her children, on the verge of tears as she slowly walks out the door, shaking her head in amazement.)

Me: “Sir, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a kind thing in my life. Can I just say how amazing that was, and what a generous person you are?”

Customer: “Hey, it’s Christmas time. I’ve got the cash, and if I can help someone out, then I’ll do it. Those smiles lit up my day.” *pauses, then chuckles* “Of course, now I’ll have to get more apples. But that’s another day’s concern!”

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