Takin’ 99 Orders

| Right | September 9, 2015

funny-customer-notice-Subway-sign

The Munchkin Gymnast Special

| USA | Right | September 9, 2015

(My brother and I work at our family coffee shop, and this happens one morning when my brother is covering the shift of our female co-worker. A middle-aged man walks in.)

Customer: “Where are all the hot girls?”

Brother: “…What?”

Customer: “Don’t all the hot girls work here?”

Brother: “Uh, well, I’m working today.”

Customer: “Man, there’s this one…” *he holds out his hand, indicating how short our coworker is* “…She’s a little munchkin. She looks like she could be a gymnast.”

(He eventually placed his order and left a good-sized tip.)

Who You Gonna Call… Everybody

| TN, USA | Right | September 9, 2015

(I work for a satellite TV company.)

Customer: “You should call each customer and let them know that you’re renewing this sports package automatically!”

Me: “I’m sorry you didn’t notice the auto renewal when you reviewed your June statement and I understand that this is an unexpected bill amount this month. Let’s see what we can do to resolve your concerns.”

Me: *thinking* “Let’s see, 20 million subscribers all getting a personal phone call … I think you may have just solved the unemployment problem in the U.S.”

Labelled As A Liar

| USA | Right | September 9, 2015

(I work in a popular smoothie shop. We normally don’t have a lot of problems with customers who have food allergies, but today a woman and her son come in who seem to be difficult to please.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Smoothie Shop]. How are you doing today?”

Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “What can I get for you today?”

(In an all of a sudden rude tone:)

Customer: “MY KID IS PB FREE!” *yes, she says ‘PB’ instead of peanut butter*

Me: “No problem. I will be happy to clean all our appliances and use our peanut butter free blender.”

Customer: “Ok, fine. I’ll have [Popular Drink].”

Me: “Perfect. Your total is $4.99.”

(She hands me cash and I proceed to make her drink. I grab a blender from the back that is never exposed to any of our other products. As I’m making her drink she yells.)

Customer: “THAT’S NOT PB FREE!”

(I try to assure her it is.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is. Although it isn’t labelled it is a peanut butter free blender.”

Customer: “ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MY SON?! THAT’S OBVIOUSLY NOT PB FREE!”

(She causes a horrible commotion, and continues to yell at me, telling me that I’m incompetent. So I run to the back, get our label maker that we make name tags with, and label the same exact blender PB Free. I come back, show her the blender, and proceed to make her drink.)

Customer: “Finally! You understand my son’s needs.”

(I give her the drink and tell her to have a nice day.)

Son: “Mom, but I’m not even allergic to—”

Customer: “SHUT UP!”

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Can’t Put A Price On A Priceless Reaction

| OR, USA | Right | September 9, 2015

(I work in a small store, all of our pricing is done with pricing guns that print stickers to the product. We have six+ different pricers, and occasionally mistakes are made, the same item ends up with two different prices, etc;)

Customer: “Look! These are the same thing, one is $1.25, one is $1.50! Why is that!?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Sometimes things get mis-marked by mistake. But the correct price is $1.25.”

Customer: “I don’t want any, just wanted to know WHY they were different!”

Manager: “Well we have several different pricers. Sometimes they just go off of memory or forget the latest update. I’m sorry for any confusion.”

Customer: “Ah, thank you! I think some of them need to go back to kindergarten, yeah?” *laughing, he gestures towards me*

Manager: *without laughing, stares, unmoving at the customer…*

Customer: *slowly stops laughing, gets uncomfortable and leaves*

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