Maybe He Was Looking For A Raspberry Pi

| ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I own my own little computer repair shop, and lease it in a building next door to a restaurant. Though it is rare, I do sometimes get people who come into my shop by mistake looking for the restaurant because it offers to order out its food, and often this problem is resolved by me giving them directions to next door. My shop is very much so obviously a computer repair shop with only a desk to drop of your computer and a few displays with replacement parts. I am behind the drop off desk checking which order to work on next, when a customer comes in.)

Me: “Oh, hi there. Here to pick up an order?”

Customer: “Yup, I had a order for Ted.”

Me: *I look up my database and find no orders for Ted.* “Umm, is it perhaps under any other name, or last name?”

Customer: “No, I definitely put it under Ted.”

Me: “Hmm, well what did you get done on your system? Maybe I can find it that way?”

Customer: “Oh I ordered a large pepperoni, well done, with some hot wings.”

Me: “You mean, like the food?”

Customer: “…duh! You work in a restaurant. What do you think is here?”

Me: “No, as you can see…” *I point around my shop* “I run a small computer repair shop.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that bull-s***! I’m the husband of the owner and if you don’t get me my order I’ll have you fired!”

(I am amused by this, because since we’ve been neighbors for a few years I know for sure the owner of the restaurant is indeed a woman, but is also a same sex couple with her partner.)

Me: “Really now? I heard she and her husband broke up.”

Customer: “No, we didn’t. We’re a loving man and wife. Now get me my d*** food, now!”

Me: “Sorry. I just can’t do that. It goes against my policies.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager, now!”

(I call the restaurant and ask if the owner could come over real quick. She does.)

Owner: “What seems to be—” *comes in and stops almost immediately. at the sight of the customer.*

Customer: “You’re not the manager of [Restaurant]. You’re just the stupid c*** that thinks you’re clever. I wanna speak to the owner, now!

Owner: “For the last time, you stupid dolt, this is not [Other Restaurant]. Stop coming to my store and yelling at my employees and customers!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to leave now.”

Customer: “Screw this s***! You’re all stupid f***s! You can all go to h***! I’ll never eat at [Other Restaurant] again! I’ll have your jobs, too!”

(Both Owner and I were left dumbfounded by the stupidity of this customer. Lucky for me, though, I got a free sandwich for having to deal with the stupid dolt!)

Wii-U Are Not Listening

| Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I’m browsing video games in a large national department store where all employees are required to wear red. This particular store, I’ve noticed, is pretty relaxed about what form the red shirt or top can take, as well as the shade of red. Coincidentally, I’m wearing a red t-shirt with a local hockey team’s name across it. A mother and her ten-year-old boy approach me.)

Mother: “Excuse me, is the Nintendo Wii still on sale?”

Son: “Wii-U!”

Me: “I’m not sure. I don’t work here.”

Mother: “Can you call someone back here who would know? He wants the Wii really badly.”

Son: “Wii-U!”

Me: “Well, there’s a customer service button over in movies. That should bring someone over. And I think he wants the Wii-U, the new system they came out with.”

Mother: “You want me to walk over into another department and ring a bell?! What the h*** kind of employee are you?”

Me: “I’m an employee of [National Insurance Company]. I’m not a clerk at this store.”

Mother: “Don’t give me that bull-s***! You’re a punk kid!”

Me: “I’m 26.”

Son: “Wii-U!”

Mother: *grabbing kid’s hand* “You know what? We’ll go to [Well-known Toy Store Chain] and pay full price for the god d*** Wii, because I’m sick of this crap!”

Son: “Wii-U!”

Me: *laughing* “Is that all he says?”

Mother: “HOW DARE YOU!”

(Eventually she was escorted from the store and the manager, after watching the entire exchange on the security tapes, let me use my ’employee’ discount on the game I wanted. I got it for… Wii-U!)

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Having A Boo Hoo About Your Hoo Hoo’s

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(My school happens to have a similar uniform code as the store I’m walking into. Due to the fact today is hot I take off my shirt, revealing a tight and slightly revealing tank top which matches the uniform the store employees wear. I’ve also been blessed with looking older than I actually am, along with having bigger breasts and curves even though I’m younger than I look. I’m with a group of friends until I wander off to look for school materials — the reason we’re all here anyway — until this lady comes over.)

Lady: “Your uniform attire is inappropriate.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Lady: “Exposing those poor young girls into thinking they have to follow the motto ‘sex sells.’ I demand to see your manager.”

Me: “But I don’t work here.”

Lady: “Then why are you wearing the same colors as he is?”

(A passing employee walks down the aisles.)

Me: “I go to [High School]. We have the same colors except our shirts are black. I just chose to wear a red tank top today.”

Lady: “I don’t want to hear your lies. I want to see your manager!”

Me: “But I don’t work here!”

(The lady storms off and I don’t think anything of it until she comes with the manager.)

Lady: “Her uniform is unacceptable! This is a family place and she’s showing her hoo hoos off with that string tank top! These girls do not need to be influenced by your employees’ need for sexual attention!”

(Needless to say I was ‘fired’ from somewhere I didn’t work and could pick up my check by the end of the week!)

Can’t Read The Minds Of The Mindless

| Rockwall, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a steakhouse where we think and act guest first. There are never customers only guests.)

Guest: *talking on phone*

Guest’s Wife: “He’ll take a sweet tea.” *rattles off the rest of the drink order*

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Guest: “Why didn’t you ask me what I wanted to drink?”

Me: “I didn’t want to interrupt your phone call, sir. Can I go ahead and get your order for you?”

Guest: *looks at me strangely for a few moments*

Guest’s Wife: “Did you get all that, sweetheart?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you didn’t actually say anything. What can I get you?”

Guest: “Well, you should know. I was thinking it very loudly.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, could you please repeat what you would like to eat?”

(The guest tells me and as I walk away loudly says to his wife:)

Guest: “This is the worst customer service I’ve ever had! What kind of waitress can’t just tell what I’m thinking?!”

Marriage Of The Undead

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Spouses & Partners, Zombies

(I work in a call center for a student loan servicing company. I deal with many difficult callers each day, as people get very upset over their loans. I have just spent an hour arguing with a woman as to why her loans were delinquent and I am quite frazzled.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I received a letter from you that says ”our condolences on the loss of your son.”

(I check the account. The borrower has indeed been reported as deceased and we are waiting for the death certificate in order to discharge the loans.)

Me: “Yes, sir. I am terribly sorry for your loss. Do you have any questions on the discharge process?”

Caller: “Yes. My son isn’t dead.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “Yeah, do you want to talk to him?”

Me: “Uh… yes, please.”

Caller: “Okay. Here he is.”

Son: “Hello. As far as I know, I am not dead, unless I am the first recorded instance of the zombie apocalypse.”

(At this point I start giggling helplessly. The son laughs, too.)

Son: “Out of curiosity, why do you guys think I’m dead?”

Me: “Well, sir, you were reported deceased by [Name].”

Son: “Oh. That’s my ex-wife. She must have been trying to mess up my credit. Is this going to hurt me at all?”

Me: “Not in the slightest, sir.”

Son: “Ha. Sucks to be her. Have a lovely day, miss.”

Me: “Thank you, sir. Please don’t bite anyone.”

Son: “But where’s the fun in that?”

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