Turning Them Red With Purple

| VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I’m in the shopping centre queuing up to buy something. My hair is dyed bright purple for ‘World’s Greatest Shave.’ There are two customers in line behind me.)

Customer #1: “Teenagers these days. Dying their hair so they can ‘stand out.’ Well, they just look ridiculous.”

Customer #2: “I know! How on earth do their parents let them do this?”

(I turn around.)

Me: “Excuse me, but I have dyed my hair for the ‘World’s Greatest Shave’ because my younger brother has leukemia. My whole family either have shaved their heads or dyed their hair for support. I have not dyed my hair to ‘stand out.’ I have dyed it so I can contribute in helping those in need.”

(The two customers turned red and hurried out of the queue into another line.)   

High On The Milk Of Human Kindness

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I work at a small independent grocery store. I’m helping an older woman check out. The transaction goes smoothly until she gets a look of sudden realization.)

Customer: “Oh! What do I do about unpaid milk quarts?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “I was here the other day and I had two milk quarts but I didn’t get them.”

Me: “You didn’t get them? Would you like to get them now? Or did you mean you accidentally left them behind?”

Customer: “Oh, no, no. I… oh. dear. I didn’t see them in my cart and I’d forgotten I grabbed them, so I left without paying for them. I didn’t even think about it until I got home and checked my receipt.”

Me: “Oh! Oh, I understand. Well, I could go grab a quart and ring it in with this order?”

Customer: “Okay!”

(I ask her what brand and kind of milk she got, then go fetch it and add two to her order.)

Customer: “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to not pay for them.”

Me: “Oh gosh. No, don’t be sorry! Thank you for your honesty. Most people would have just been like ‘sweet, free milk’ when they realized what had happened.”

Customer: “Well, I just couldn’t live with doing that! Your selection might not be as big as [Chain Competitor]’s, but I’ve been shopping here since the current owner’s father was running the place. Everyone is always so helpful. I just couldn’t do something so unethical and mean!”

(It’s not a glamorous job, but customers like her make me glad I’m working for a business like that!)

Related:
Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness

Creepy Customers Themed Of The Month Roundup

Not Always Right | Roundups

Creepy Customers Themed Of The Month Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Fortune Favors The Foretold (1,590 thumbs up)
  2. Like A Dog After A Bone (1,862 thumbs up)
  3. Stripped Of His Confidence (1,354 thumbs up)
  4. They Have Incompatible Operating Systems (1,400 thumbs up)
  5. This Caller Has No Hang Ups (1,445 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Not Exactly Heavy Math

| Roscoe, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I just finish helping someone when a young man walks up to me.)

Customer: “Do you guys sell ice cubes?”

Me: “Yes. Would you like an 8-pound bag or a 16-pound bag?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The 16-pound bag holds twice as much ice cubes as the 8-pound bag.”

Customer: “Is that the heavier one?”

A Trashy Pick Up Line

, | Canada | One-Liners, Rude & Risque

(I am in my teens, taking out the garbage. One of our regular customers, an elderly man who is a well-known jokester, comes up to me at the end of his meal. I’m switching out the trash bag.)

Elderly Man: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Taking out the trash.”

Elderly Man: “Well, I’m trash. Can you take me out?”

(I laugh into the garbage can.)

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t, but I’ll have to remember that one. It’s good!”

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