Put Yourself In Her Shoes

| Wales, UK | Bad Behavior

(I am clearing some shelves of wine that have been on promotion, since the promotion is ending and a new one starting the next day. I am unable to park my trolley nearby due to space and am having to carry bottles to the nearest aisle. As this conversation takes place, I am holding five bottles of wine.)

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Hi there. If you could bear with me just one second while I put these down and I’ll be right with you.”

(She says nothing so I start to walk to the trolley, only a few yards away. But…)

Customer: *grabbing my arm and tugging, hard* “Hey! Why aren’t you helping me?”

(I drop all five bottles, four of which smash and splash all over the customer’s white, expensive looking shoes.)

Customer: “Look what you did, you stupid b****! You’re gonna have to pay for these!”

(She reached down and removed her shoes, despite my protests, so she was standing barefoot in a puddle of glass-filled wine. She was still shouting at me about how much her shoes cost and how I was going to have to pay for them or she would have me arrested when the manager arrived. Having seen the whole thing on the cameras, he made her pay for the broken bottles, helped me clean up, and gave me the afternoon off.)

A Rock Solid Alternative

| Nanuet, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I’m the manager and am back in the aquatics department writing up the weekly order of fish when a woman and her two young kids approach me:)

Customer: “How long do these fish live?” *she gestures to a tank full of assorted community fish*

Me: “Usually a few years, ma’am, sometimes longer or shorter, depending on the fish.”

Customer: “And these?” *holds up the betta cup she brought over*

Me: “Bettas generally live up to three years. It’s possible for them to live longer, but it’s uncommon.”

Customer: “How old is this one?”

Me: “I don’t have an exact age, but it’s approximately a year. Baby bettas are very plain, so we don’t sell them because you won’t know what color you’re getting.”

Customer: “How long will this one live, then?”

Me: “Given the average lifespan, about 1 to 2 years.”

Customer: “That’s too short. What do you have that doesn’t die.”

Me: “…Excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “I want a pet that doesn’t die. What do you have that doesn’t die?”

Me: “Rocks.”

Winging For More

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It is late morning and I’ve just put out a fresh tray of barbecue wings in our wing bar. A tray holds 30-40 wings, or 4-5 pounds. As I’m walking back behind the counter, this happens:)

Customer: “You gonna make any more?”

(I turn around and see that the man has taken the entire tray of BBQ wings.)

Me: “Uh… I can make some more. It’ll take 15 or 20 minutes.”

Customer: “I’ll wait.”

(Feeling annoyed, I fry and sauce another tray’s worth of BBQ wings. When I put the new ones out, the customer again scoops every single one into buckets.)

Customer: “You gonna make any more?”

Me: “How many wings do you need, sir?”

Customer: “I dunno, like 200 or something.”

Me: “Uh… to make that many, it would take me at least 45 minutes, probably an hour.”

Customer: “I’ll wait.”

Me: *screaming bloody murder inside* “Uh, next time, sir, you might want to call us and place your order ahead of time, for your convenience.”

Customer: “Yeah, right. Who has time to do that?!”