Delayed Reaction

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Right | October 8, 2015

Passenger: “Why is there nobody to inform me about the delay?! I came all the way from San Francisco and now that I’m here you tell me there is a delay!”

Me: “Sir, some people sign up for email alert from the airport or the airlines for possible delays.”

Passenger: “Who are those ‘some people’?! I talked to everyone here! Nobody knew about the delay before!”

Me: “Sir, those people who have signed up and received an alert wouldn’t even bother to come to the airport. People are here because they did not sign up and did not know there is a delay.”

Still Pre-Positions

| Right | October 8, 2015

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EWOK

| Right | October 7, 2015

59556914

Instruction Deconstruction

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Right | October 7, 2015

(I work tech support for a large corporation that services 50,000+ employees. It is not uncommon, when there are new upgrades or software, for our users to receive instructions on how to perform the installs themselves. We usually got a good number of calls from people who don’t read the instructions and just call into the help desk.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] corporate help desk. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I just got the email that I’m supposed to install [newest upgrade] and need some help with it.”

Me: “Okay, I can help you with that. Did you get the instructions?”

Customer: “Yes, I have it right in front of me.”

Me: “Okay, at what point are you having the issues.”

Customer: “I scrolled to the bottom to get your number and called in.”

Me: “Okay, let me get my copy of the instructions opened up and we’ll see if we can get this done.”

(I open the PDF file and bring up my instructions.)

Me: “Okay, now what does it say for step #1.”

Customer: *reads instructions to me for step #1*

Me: “Okay, do that. Now what does it say for step #2.”

Customer: *reads instructions to me for step #2*

Me: “Okay, do that.”

Customer: “Wait a minute, are you just going to have me read the instructions and do it step by step?”

Me: “Yes, that’s exactly what we are going to do. My instructions are no different than yours.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not much help. I could do that by myself!” *click*

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The Power (Button) To Make A Difference

| Canton, NY, USA | Right | October 7, 2015

(I work in a call center supporting multiple ISP’s, when a very flustered, middle aged woman calls in.)

Me: “Hi, and thank you for calling [ISP].”

Customer: “My Internet is broken! I was on my computer and now all I see is a big yellow triangle, and I can’t even move my mouse!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, have you tried restarting the computer?”

Customer: *starting to get angry* “How am I supposed to do that?! I told you, I can’t move my mouse!”

Me: *trying very hard to keep the sarcasm out of my voice* “By holding the power button.”

Customer: *very sincerely* “Oh… you can do that?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, my god, it worked! You’re a genius! I am having a party this weekend. Come have a beer with us!”

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