Top 5 Not Always Right Stories Of May 2014

Not Always Right | Roundups

May 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for last month!

  1. Just A (Cast The First) Stone’s Throw Away From A True Christian (4,199 thumbs up)
  2. Driven Over The Edge (2,881 thumbs up)
  3. Driving A Hard Bargain (2,785 thumbs up)
  4. Going Bananas Over The Bread (2,430 thumbs up)
  5. Having A Multiple Light-Bulb Moment (2,298 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Doesn’t Live In The Real World

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Time

(I’m the manager of a watch store in a mall. I am taking care of some display work when a couple walks up to my kiosk.)

Me: “Hi there! Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “Hey. No, thanks. I think we’re just looking.”

Me: “Okay, sounds good. Just let me know if you have any questions.”

(I go back to my display work and the couple wanders around the booth. As they come closer to me I notice the man is looking confused. I’m about to ask him if there’s something I can clear up for him when he speaks up.)

Customer: “Are any of these watches real?”

Me: “I… What?”

Customer: “These watches you’re selling. Are any of them real?”

Me: “Yes, sir. All of my watches are 100% authentic time pieces.”

(Meanwhile, his wife is snickering.)

Customer: “No, I mean are any of these real gold?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, sir. Seeing as I am in a kiosk in the middle of a mall, I do not have the security systems in place for me to sell genuine gold watches, which often start at several thousands of dollars.”

Customer: “Oh, but what about this one right here? It looks like it would be a real gold watch.”

Me: “No, sir. That watch is gold colored plating over base metal, mostly nickel. It runs $39.95.”

Customer: “Oh. But are those real diamonds on it?”

Me: “… No. I think they’re glass or plastic.”

Customer: “You sure you don’t have anything real in the back?

Me: “I’m a kiosk, sir. I don’t have a ‘back.'”

Customer’s Wife: *outright laughing now* “I am so sorry. You have been so patient!”

(She drags him away. A manager at the next store who has observed this and is in hysterics.)

Me: “I give up. Are you hiring?”

Fixed With A Male-To-Female Adaptor

| ON, Canada | Bigotry, Technology

(I work tech support at an inbound call center for a fairly large ISP. A lot of customers get transferred by sales agents when they select the wrong option. I’m female.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can we help you?”

Elderly Caller: “Oh, hello, dear. I’m just waiting for a tech support man.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I’m tech support! How can I help?”

Elderly Caller: “Oh no, no, honey. I’m sure there will be a tech support man along to help me shortly. I don’t mind waiting on hold.”

(After a few minutes of attempting to get her information and assuring I can help, I finally resolve the issue and we say goodbye. A few hours later I get an email from a coworker who had spoken to the same woman. He transcribed a message she insisted get to me that read as follows:)

Message: “Please tell [my Name] that she fixed all the problems I had and I didn’t mean to be rude. I didn’t even know women were allowed to work tech support so it’s not my fault!”

Takes A Toll On The Soul

| USA | Bizarre, Money, Religion

(I am a phone customer service rep for a government agency that has been strongly encouraging constituents to use our website for basic governmental functions. It is my first day out of training.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hello. I just want to know if you charge spiritual taxes to people of certain religious beliefs?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “Spiritual taxes. Do you charge them for using your website?”

Me: “… I think that’s more a question for your religious leader of choice, but no, to the best of my knowledge we do not charge taxes on the soul for using our website.”

Caller: “Oh, wonderful!” *click*

The Hair Apparent

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(The manager calls me to the front of the store to deal with an angry customer: I had laminated her elementary school son’s photo collage. I should have realized something was up when I see the manager is smirking.)

Customer: “You laminated one of your hairs in my son’s collage!”

Me: “I really doubt it.”

(I point out I am wearing a hat.)

Customer: *now super angry* “Don’t contradict me. You have ruined this collage!”

Me: “No, ma’am. I really don’t think that long blond hair is mine.”

(I pull off my hat. I have a shaved head.)

Customer: “Well, then, someone else must have put it there. Like her!” *points to a coworker with blond hair*

Me: “Ma’am, I am the only person who has touched this order. This hair appears to be yours.”

Customer: “Well… you should have never laminated the hair in then!”

(I point to the order form where the customer has circled ‘as is’.)

Customer: “Aaargh!” *storms out*

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