Her Bargaining Power Has Gone To The Dogs

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Pets & Animals

(I work at a pet store that sells puppies. A very angry customer comes in to buy a Boston terrier.)

Customer: “This place is filthy! You only have sick dogs!”

Me: “We are very proud of our sanitation standards as well as the fact that we have not had an outbreak of a major illness in over five years.”

Customer: “Hmph! Well, then I’m going to have to have some cosmetic surgery done on the dog because I don’t like this feature the dog has.”

Me: “Uh, well, these are natural features, and pose no health risk.

Customer: “I still demand the price of the puppy dropped down.

Me: “Our prices are already very fair. Especially when everything comes with the puppy, even the microchip and the vaccinations.”

Customer: “I demand to see the manager!”

(The manager comes over and the situation is explained. Eventually, the customer makes an ultimatum.)

Customer: “I will be out the door with the puppy for $800 or with nothing!”

(It is then we all realize that the customer has not actually established what the price of the puppy actually is, which is just $600. For all her yelling and harassment of the staff, she was very nice after the manager changed the price to $800.)

The Return Of The Ninja

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

(I have a 14-hour shift because a friend of mine is out sick as she is having surgery. It’s about eight hours into the day, and a customer comes in, with something in a paper bag and a giant scowl on her face.)

Me: “Hello, Ma’am. How may I help you today?”

Guest: “Yes. I’d like to return this, please? Here’s my receipt, and I want the full amount back.”

Me: “Yes, Ma’am. I’ll do what I can.”

(I go to scan the receipt, and it’s declined, because she’s had the items for more than 90 days. We aren’t allowed to return things over that limit without a supervisor’s approval.)

Me: “I’m very sorry ma’am, but my system is showing me that I can’t return these, due to the fact you purchased them more than 90 days ago.”

Guest: “That’s f****** stupid! I demand to speak with your supervisor! I work in retail, and we return everything the guest gives us!”

(I look over, and see my supervisor is busy dealing with another customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you’d just wait right over here for a moment, I’m sure he’ll be with you very shortly.”

Guest: “No! I’ll not be treated this way!”

(She takes out her purse, and slams her bag down on the guest services counter, throwing her store card and three gift cards at my face. I catch one, and dodge the others.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave, please. We do not allow that kind of behavior here. I’m very sorry for any inconvenience.”

Guest: “You know what? You’re simply a stupid little s*** with no chance at ever being successful, or pretty!” *storms out*

Customer In Line Behind Her: “Well, I never! Miss, you are beautiful, very kind, and I’m in awe of your ninja skills!”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I appreciate it!”

Unable To Think Independently

| Ireland | Geography, History, Tourists/Travel

(Years ago, I worked in an Internet cafe. We have an American tourist come in and check his email. His email doesn’t have a traditional webmail service. You have to connect through a special program and chose your location.)

Customer: “I can’t connect. It’s not showing my mail.”

Me: “I see what it is. You chose to use the UK access number.”

Customer: “But I’m in the UK.”

Me: “No, this is Ireland.”

Customer: “But Ireland is part of the UK.”

Me: “No, only the north is.”

Customer: “But you all speak English.”

Me: “Yes, but we are still a different country. It’s listed under the Republic of Ireland in the drop down menu.”

Customer: “But that is part of the UK. People here are British right?”

Me: “No. In America you had a war of independence in 1775 right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “So did we, in 1921. If we’re British, so are you.”

Paying It Fast Forward

, | Kirksville, MO, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I am in the drive through lane because I am delivering a forgotten hat to a roommate that works there. I rattle off my order and pull forward. I then notice that a truck, that for whatever reason has shut down in the other drive through lane, has turned on and I am unsure whether I have accidentally cut him off.)

Me: “Uhm, I am the one with the [order].”

(The cashier takes my credit card and pushes a couple buttons.)

Me: “And could I pay for the guy-behind-me’s order? I think I cut him off.”

Cashier: “Uh… hold on.”

(She goes to the back to confer with the manager, and then pops back.)

Cashier: “Yeah, one moment.”

(She runs my card twice. I receive both receipts, deliver the hat to my roommate, get my food and then drive off. Later that night, my roommate comes home.)

Roommate: “So, apparently you set off a chain reaction. The rest of the cars in the line started to pay for the next one. [Coworker] was so relieved when it stopped! It was so confusing!”

Their True Colors Are Off-Color

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement

(I work in a custom shirt shop. We have a lot of variety in our shirts that we keep in stock, trying to have two-three shades of all the basic colors. However, more unique colors don’t have a high turn over, and we try to keep our overstock as low as possible to keep down costs. This customer had had shirts designed by us before on a basic light brown but now wants some brighter, spring colors.)

Customer: “There’s this really pretty coral that’s popular right now. Do you have anything in a coral?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We just have a few shades in the more basic colors. I have a couple shades of pink I could show you.”

Customer: *pointing to two shirts on the wall* “Well, that shirt over there is more of an orange, but the colors on this fox here is more of an umber. Do you have any shirts closer to an umber?”

Me: “Again, we tend to have just a couple shades in the basic color palette. I could show you our two oranges.”

Customer: “No, no, that’s more of a rust! I don’t want another fall color. I want something brighter.”

Me: “Well, that’s called ‘Tennessee Orange,’ and that one is ‘Safety Orange.’ Those are the only oranges we have.”

Customer: “What about something in more of a fuschia-y salmon?”

Me: “I have pink. I have neon pink and dark pink. Would you like to see the two shades of pink?”

Customer: “Well, I also like purple, but I don’t want a royal purple. What about something in like a mauve?”

Me: “I have purple. I have dark purple and light purple. I can bring out two samples and show you our shades of purple.”

Customer: “Well what colors DO you have?!”

Me:  “Basic colors, two-three shades of each. Red, yellow, blue…”

Customer: “Let me see your blue.”

(I FINALLY bring out the three shades of blue we have, hoping she likes one.”

Customer: “Is this ALL you have?”

Me: “Yes, we have three shades of blue. These three shades. Royal, turquoise, and light blue.”

Customer: “Fine. I will take the BABY blue.”

Me: “You mean this one… the light blue, right?”

(All I can think is someone had the big box of crayons as a kid and felt like showing off!)

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