Naughty Words On The Naughty List

WI, USA | Right | December 25, 2015

(I work in a specialty toiletry shop. For the holidays we are selling miniature Santa hats for $1. They’re small enough to fit over the lid on a bottle of lotion, shower gel, or fragrance mist. I am ringing up a woman. Her sister, son, and mother are also at the register. The boy, no older than nine, grabs a Santa hat out of the jar.)

Grandmother: “You could put that on your winger-dinger!”

(The daughters are mortified.)

Daughters: “Mother!”

(I laughed hysterically as I finished ringing the one’s order and then rang the grandmother’s order. I will never be able to look at those Santa hats the same again.)

All About The Details

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Right | December 25, 2015

(I work in a call center for a company that offers protections plans online. A lot of customers buy plans for Christmas presents this time of year, and will call us to have the plan transferred from them to the person they’re gifting the item and plan to. This happens during a transfer call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Team]. My name is [My Name]! How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Hi, I bought a plan online a few days ago and I wanted it to be switched to my son and his wife, but it’s a Christmas present so I don’t want them to get anything before then.”

Me: “Sure thing! I’ll be glad to help you with that. Just before we get into it though, do you have their name, address, phone number, and email address? I’ll need all of that to transfer the plan.”

Caller: “Did you hear what I said? I don’t want them to get anything.”

Me: “No, I understand. I just want to make sure we’re not wasting your time by getting halfway through the transfer, realize we don’t have all we need, and have to tell you to call back later.”

Caller: “Oh, uh, sure. All right.”

Me: “Great! So which name would you like us to use?”

Caller: “Uh, [Wife’s First Name]… Never mind, I don’t know her last name. [Son’s Full Name].”

Me: “Thanks! And what’s his phone number?”

Caller: “Well, they moved so I don’t have their address. I’ll have to go downstairs to get it.”

The Picture Of Stupid

| Finland | Right | December 25, 2015

(Christmas is our busiest season and our most popular item is a calendar with your own pictures. We have several different ones; you can choose the size, paper, and if it has name days or room for taking notes. A young woman in her 20s walks in with a USB.)

Customer: “What kind of calendars do you have? I have my pictures here.”

(I show her all our calendars and she takes good 30 minutes trying to decide. I have to stand next to her during that time because she asks lots of questions and finds something wrong with EVERY calendar we have. One has too big pictures, one too small etc… Finally she makes a decision and we start making the calendar with our computer.)

Customer: “Uh, why is my picture so small? In that calendar it’s much bigger.”

Me: “We can make it bigger but you have a vertical photo and this picture area is horizontal, so something is going to get cut out if we do that.”

Customer: “What?! No, I don’t want anything cut out! Just put it in there, but bigger!”

(I patiently explain to her that she needs a horizontal picture if she wants it bigger; this picture won’t work. She just doesn’t get it.)

Customer: “I’m just going to go somewhere else! You clearly don’t know what you are doing.”

(Thanks for wasting my time! It is not my fault you don’t understand the difference between vertical and horizontal!)

They Already Checked Out Last Night

| CO, USA | Right | December 25, 2015

Guest: “Hi there. I would like to check out.”

Me: “I can do that for you. Did you enjoy your stay?”

Guest: “Yes, I love Colorado!”

Me: “I’m happy to hear that; I hope you come back soon.”

Guest: “Oh, I will! Here is my room key and what I couldn’t finish.” *smiles*

(He hands me his key, I feel a small bag under it.)

Guest: “Have a green Christmas!”

(I didn’t even need to look to see what it was. Only in Colorado will you get a check out with pot at four am.)

Kindness In Bloom

| USA | Right | December 25, 2015

(I am standing behind a little old lady in line while holding a bouquet of tulips. In front of the old lady is a mother with her child and the mother seems to be having trouble. I haven’t really been paying attention to it.)

Old Lady: “Those tulips are very pretty. May I ask who they are for?”

Me: “They are for my mother. Her favorite flowers are tulips. Today is my parents’ anniversary and my dad couldn’t get off work today.”

Old Lady: “That is so sweet of you. Since you only have those flowers and I have a ton of groceries, how about you get in front of me so you can go surprise your mother faster.”

Me: “Thank you so much.”

(I was really happy I got to leave earlier and I smile at the old lady. Then I realize what’s going on with the lady in front of me: her card isn’t working and she has about $300 worth of groceries bagged. She’s crying and yelling loudly at the cashier.)

Lady: “I just got this card and they told me it would work; I really need these groceries today!”

Cashier: “I am sorry; is there something else you can pay with?”

Lady: “No, not at the moment! I’ll just leave.” *starts to grab her purse when the little old lady behind me walks in front of me*

Old Lady: “How much was everything she is wanting?”

Cashier: “It’s about $300.”

Old Lady: *looks at the lady who is crying* “Just think of this as an extremely early Christmas present.”

(The old lady then swipes her card and pays for the lady’s groceries. The lady breaks down in tears.)

Lady: “I’m so sorry for all of this. Is there anything I can do for you? I’m so sorry. I just got off of work and I’m pregnant and times are not being so good to me.”

Old Lady: *smiles at her* “The only thing I ask of is that you smile and know things will work out eventually.”

(I then broke down crying. As I was leaving I handed the old lady a tulip from the bouquet I had bought and smiled at her.)

Old Lady: “Thank you very much, dear.”

Me: “I wanted to thank you for being the kind soul that you are.”

Old Lady: “You are a very kind person; don’t ever lose that.”

Me:You are the kind person. Would you like any help with your groceries?”

Old Lady: “Um, yes, please; I don’t think I could manage by myself very well.”

(I helped her with her groceries and went home. I gave my mom her tulips and told her the story, and we both started crying.)

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