Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 4

, | Dublin, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Technology, Transportation

(A customer calls to book a flight from London to Berlin. The aircraft assigned for that route had recently been changed from a jet-engine to a propeller plane. I am required to inform passengers when booking the flight.)

Customer: “A propeller plane? But if the engine stops working, the ‘plane will fall from the sky!”

(I was momentarily silenced as I tried to work out how this wasn’t also true for the jet aircraft. The passenger eventually decided to chance it and booked the flight.)

Related:
Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 3
Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 2
Taking Stupidity To New Heights

Lack-Of-Clothes Make The Lack-Of-A Man

| UK | At The Checkout, Money, Rude & Risque

(An older customer comes to my checkout. He has been staring at me a lot while he has been waiting for service. I am 17 at the time.)

Customer: “Are you from [area in my town]?”

Me: “Oh, no. I don’t live there.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I’ve seen you around there, at [address that is not mine].”

Me: “Oh, no. You must be mistaken.”

(The transaction continues, extremely awkward as he keeps insisting he ‘knows me from somewhere’ and has ‘seen my house’ and things to that effect. I brush him off as one of the harmless, odd customers that one sees in a day.)

Me: “Right, so that comes to £52.56.”

Customer: “Oh I only have £50 on me.”

Me: “Well, if you have no other means of paying, we’ll have to take something off.”

Customer: “Like your clothes?”

Me: “…no.”

Customer: “Like my clothes?”

(I am speechless and upset, and about to go into a rant and call a security guard over, when the next customer intervenes.)

Next Customer: “You are soooo creepy, mate.”

(The customer scuttles off after paying me the full amount, obviously embarrassed about being caught harassing a teenage girl!)

Getting Crabby At The Box Office

| US | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in the box office of a theater company that performs different plays throughout the summer. Occasionally we get calls from people assuming we are a cinema.)

Me: “Box office. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Uh, yeah, can I place an order with you?”

Me: “Yes, this is the box office. You can order tickets with us.”

Customer: “Okay, I’m gonna get five crab cakes, two orders of—”

Me: “I’m sorry. What was that?”

Customer: “I want five orders of the crab cakes, and—”

Me: “I’m sorry. This is the box office of the theater at [Town].”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “The theater at [Town].”

Customer: “[Town]?”

Me: “Yes. This is the box office.”

Customer: “The box office.”

Me: “Yes.” *silence* “Did you want to order some tickets to a play?”

Customer: “… Yeah. So, I want five crab cakes and two ord—”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This isn’t a restaurant. This is the box office of the theater.”

Customer: “So you don’t have any crab cakes?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, sir. We only sell tickets to plays.”

Customer: “Okay, sounds great, thanks.” *hangs up*

A Rude Awakening

| New York, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(I ask a client to call me the morning of the next day to discuss layouts for his website. He ends up calling at around 3:00 pm instead.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but I won’t be able to help you right now. Please ca—”

Client: “Wait. I thought you said to call in the morning!”

Me: “Yes, I did, but it’s 3:00 in the afternoon now. I’m really busy right now though so we’ll have to reschedule.”

Client: “YOU SAID MORNING! I just woke up so it’s still MY morning! You need to assist me now!”

Lucky Dollar Thirteen

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(It is my first day working the cash register, and everything is going well. A customer approaches my register with a handful of items. At first, she can’t figure out which items she wishes to use for which promotions, constantly changing her mind. Then she wants to use multiple (expired) coupons on her purchase. I call my coworker over to help explain to the customer how the promotions and coupons work. We finally get her straightened out on the promotions, and then this exchange happens.)

Customer: “Okay, I think I got it. Now, with this coupon I get one item free, right?”

Me:” Yes, ma’am, one item up to $13.”

Customer: “Okay, well, these items here are about $13 total. Can I use those?”

Me: “No, ma’am, the coupon is for one item up to $13.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like to use this item, then.”

(She places her coupon on a $14 item.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t use the coupon to get that item free; it’s $14.”

Customer: “But, you said $13.”

Coworker: “Yes, up to $13, but that is $14.”

Customer: “But, you said $13.”

Coworker: “Yes, up to $13. THAT’S $14.”

Customer: “But… didn’t you say $13?”

Coworker:  Yes, the coupon is up to $13. That item is $14.”

(This continues back and forth for nearly a minute.)

Customer: “OH! You mean INCLUDING $13!”

Coworker: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, the coupon should say that. I’ll find another item.”

(The customer goes to get another item– We still don’t know if she understood a word we said. Since we don’t know how long the customer is going to take, I invite the next customer in line to come to the register.)

Next Customer: *sets her items on the counter with a gracious smile* “I have four items and no coupons.”

Me: “I am so sorry for your wait, ma’am…”

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