Thinking Outside The Box, Part 5

| Portland, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

Me: *to a customer that has just walked in* “Hi, there! Go ahead and sit anywhere you like!”

Customer: “Can we sit outside?”

Me: “That certainly qualifies!”

Thinking Outside The Box, Part 4
Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2

Ripe For A Correction

| Hattiesburg, MS, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am working the salad bar at our buffet restaurant and overhear a conversation between a little girl and her mother.)

Girl: “Mom, can I have some of those pickles?”

Mom: “Those aren’t pickles. They are cucumbers. They are pickles before they turn ripe.”

H2-D’oh! Part 2

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(At my store, cashiers shout to the barista which drinks have been ordered. The exceptions to this are water and soda; customers get cups for that and are directed to the soda fountain.)

Cashier: “Can you make my customer a caramel latte?”

Me: “You got it!”

(I make the drink, and a woman walks up to the counter.)

Customer: “Is this mine?”

Me: “A caramel latte?”

Customer: “Thanks!”

(She takes it and leaves. Ten minutes later, she comes back to the counter.)

Customer: “I don’t think this is what I ordered.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll remake yours. What did you order?”

Customer: “Oh, I ordered water.”

Me: *speechless*

(Another customer walks up to the counter.)

Other Customer: “I don’t mean to bother, but I ordered a caramel latte a long time ago. Is it ready yet?”

Me: *internally screaming*


Ordering In All Colors But Only Seeing Red

| South Africa | Crazy Requests

(I am taking a large stationery order for an insurance office over the phone. The call is already into its fifteenth minute:)

Customer: “Do you have any of those things that hold little squares of paper?”

Me: “Desk cubes? Yes, sure we do.”

Customer: “What colour do they come in?”

Me: “Black, dark blue, burgundy, or dark green.”

Customer: “Do you have pink?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we only have them in black, dark blue, burgundy, or dark green.”

Customer: “What about a really jazzy bright green?”

Me: “As far as greens go, we only have dark green, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why do they only make them in four colours?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am.”

Customer: “What about yellow, then?”

Me: *head on desk*

(The next item she ordered was paper-clips, and you can bet we had the same conversation about those, too.)

Blowing A Lid Over A Cichlid

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(A customer comes up to me with a 20 gallon tank in her cart.)

Customer: “You got any of those ‘chicklid’ fish?”

Me: “You mean cichlids? Yes, ma’am, we do. Were you looking for a particular species?”

Customer: “D***, I don’t know… How about that one?”

(She points to our tank of juvenile tiger-oscars, a fish that can easily grow to a foot in length. Because of this, we do not allow them to be sold unless the person has or is buying a tank of at least 50 gallons.)

Me: “No problem, ma’am. If you’d like a tiger-oscar, you will have to buy a bigger tank, though, along with a heater and filter. These fish get very large.”

(I quickly explain the final size and tank requirements for the species.)

Customer: “S***! I’m not buying no 50 gallon for a stupid fish!”

Me: *ignoring her comment* “I’d be happy to show you other species that are perfect for the tank you’ve picked out.”

Customer: “No! I need something for my kids to look at TONIGHT! They won’t be able to see no pathetic little guppy! I want that ‘chicklid!'”

(She continues yelling at me to get her the fish while refusing to buy a filter, heater, or even gravel for the tank.)

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot sell you a fish that you’ll be putting into a bare tank of stagnant water.”

Customer: “You can’t deny me a sale! I am a customer and I deserve that fish!”

Me: “My job is to care for these animals first. You are wanting to buy a live animal and that comes with requirements and responsibilities. As I said before, I am more than happy to show you other species that are better suited to your tank size but I will not sell you a tiger-oscar.”

Customer: “I want to see your manager. You’re being mean to me!”

(I got my manager, who promptly agreed with my decision to not sell to her. She then asked to speak to the regional manager who also agreed with us. Furious, she stormed out of our store and vowed to never come back… not that we would have let her.)

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