Serving Donald Trump

| Portland, OR, USA | Right | February 5, 2016

(I work as a U-Scan attendant at a large grocery store. The company is currently running a promotion for a new line of Mexican food, which means we get to wear t-shirts that say “Taste of Mexico” on the front.)

Customer: “Why are you wearing all that Mexican stuff? We have enough Mexicans around here.”

Me: *walking away* “Oh… kay…”

A Perfect Hollywood Ending

| Redmond, WA, USA | Right | February 5, 2016

(I am shopping at a large, well known chain store and happen to pick up the last copy of a newly released DVD geared towards kids when I am approached by a frantic woman.)

Shopper: “Wait! Is that the last copy?”

Me: “Yeah. Sorry.”

(I turn to leave, stop, think for a second, and turn back around.)

Me: “Ma’am? Do you have kids at home?”

Shopper: “Yes, I do.” *motioning with her head to two boys behind her*

Me: “Take it. I can get a copy later.”

Shopper: “Are you sure? Thank you!”

Employee: *to me* “I need you to come with me for a minute.”

(He leads me to a stocking cart where he finds the actual last copy in stock.)

Me: “Awesome! That worked out well. Thanks!”

Employee: *very seriously* “Thank you for your generosity.”

(The look on all their faces made my day. Sometimes good karma pays off instantly!)

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 24

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Right | February 5, 2016

(A customer walks in with a PSP he purchased recently from our store.)

Customer: “My PSP won’t connect to the Internet. Keeps giving me an error.”

Me: “Huh, weird. You have a good connection to your wifi right?”

Customer: “Wifi?”

Me: “Yeah, your wireless Internet. What’s the signal strength when you try to connect?”

(Customer looks at me like I’m from Mars.)

Me: “You do have Internet at home right?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, you need to have the Internet at home in order to be able to use the Internet.”

Customer: “I just thought the Internet came with the PSP when I bought it.”

 

I’m Feeling Pretty Coffee Myself Too

| MI, USA | Right | February 5, 2016

(I work in a cafe that is attached to a smaller (more on the expensive side) specialty grocery store. I usually work the morning shift and have come to understand that people aren’t quite awake when they come up to my counter and order their coffee. However, more often than not I get this response from people…)

Me: “Good morning. How are you?”

Guest: “I’ll have a tall coffee.”

Me: *to coworker after patron has left the café* “I didn’t know tall coffee was a mood…”

I Pronounce Thee Idiot

, | NY, USA | Right | February 4, 2016

Customer: *over dressed for our grocery store location, and speaking with the sort of tone you normally reserve for children* “Give me three la-Zaa-nya squares, an eggplant salad, and one bru-Skeee-ta.

(The customer throws on a really thick, and sudden accent when pronouncing the food. He smiles at me in a way that makes me think I’m supposed to be impressed by this.)

Me: *punching in the order, and repeating it back using the accepted American pronunciation of the words ‘lasagna ‘ and ‘bruschetta* “Three lasagna squares, one large eggplant salad, one bruschetta.”

Customer: “Bru-Skeeeeh-ta” *he drags out the pronunciation even more*

Me: “One bruschetta.” *I agree, again, as per our store policy*

Customer: *looking self important* “It’s actually an Italian word? See if it were German, you would say it the way you’re saying it, but it’s not. Bru-SKEH-ta. See?”

Me: “If you say so, sir.” *getting his order ready, at this point, I’m too tired to deal with him*

Customer: “It’s just like ‘SPUH-geeh-tee’.” He grins at me.

Me: “Of course, sir.”

Customer: “You look like a nice Italian girl. Don’t you want to learn the language?”

Me: *handing him his food* “I’m a boy, sir.”

(His face dropped, and turned an interesting shade of red. He snatched his food away and spit something in what I could only presume is very overly-pronounced Italian at me, before hurrying away.)

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