The Warranty Comes Warranted, Part 2

, | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Technology

(I’m selling a customer an iPad and introducing a new warranty which covers accidental damage, meaning you can replace your iPad for $50 rather than buying a whole new one. It’s a fantastic deal and, as the customer in question is buying the iPad for his eight-year-old daughter and wants the most expensive model, I am trying to convince him that the extra $99 for it is really worth it.)

Me: “Sir, just to check, you’re getting this for your daughter, you said?”

Customer: “Yeah. I mean, we’ll use it too, but it’s mostly for her.”

Me: “I see. In that case, you really want to consider getting the extra warranty.”

Customer: “But it comes with one that covers it for a year, right?”

Me: “Yes, but it doesn’t cover accidental damage. If she accidentally drops it and cracks the screen, it’ll cost full price to replace without the warranty. With the warranty, it’s only $50 to replace it.”

Customer: *considers it for a moment, then shakes his head* “Nah, we’ll be okay. I’ll tell her to be real careful.”

Me: *gesturing to a nearby table where we have iPads set up for kids to play with* “Sir, I’m sure your daughter is really careful with her toys, but iPads are really fragile and kids sometimes forget they’re not as hardy as their other things.”

(In perfect timing, a kid at the table then starts banging the iPad on the table hard. I grimace and the customer cringes slightly.)

Customer: “Err, no, no. It’s okay. We’ll be careful.”

(I get him to at least buy a screen cover and ring him up. He’s excited and happy at the end, so I figure everything’s all right and hopefully his daughter is as careful as he says she is. The next day, however, I see him come in with the iPad, case, and several small glass shards from the broken screen in a Ziploc bag. He sees me on his way to the tech counter and sheepishly holds up the bag.)

Customer: “I guess you were right. I’ll get the warranty this time…”

The Warranty Comes Warranted

Two Sides Of The Same Very Reasonable Coin

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

(Two different customers approach me at the same time to ask for help.)

Customers #1 & #2: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes, how may I help you?”

(I soon realize that the customers have no relation to each other, as they ask me for help in two completely different departments.)

Me: “Hmm, how should I do this? Who do I help first?”

(Judging by their body language, neither customer wants to back down. So I reach into my pocket and pull out a coin.)

Me: “All right, we’ll do it this way. Heads or tails?”

Customer #1: “Heads!”

Customer #2: “Guess that makes me tails, then.”

(I flip the coin, and it lands tails.)

Customer #2: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let’s go. And sir, I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done with her.”

Customer #1: “Fair enough.”

(I wish more customers were that easy to deal with!)

Didn’t Quite Hit The Nail On The Head

| IN, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I’m working in the child-watch section of the gym, where people leave their kids while they go work out. Normally it’s not too bad, but today it is just me and one other person and we have three kids less than a year old in addition to other kids. After a while, I finally manage to get two of them to sleep and some of the older kids come over to watch them.)

Girl: “Her nails are so little and cute. We’d need just a drop of nail polish to color them. Can we paint her nails?”

(I am stunned so I blurt the first thing that comes to mind.)

Me: “No modifications made to the baby without her parent present.”

Girl: “Huh?”

Me: “No, you can’t paint her nails.”

When Write Is Wrong Is Really Right

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words

(I work in a video store. This is years before gift cards. We have to hand-write the amount on a certificate.)

Customer: “That is not spelled right.”

Employee #1: *writes void on certificate, and tries again*

Customer: “It’s still not right.”

(Employee #1 calls over Employee #2.)

Employee #2: “Ma’am, I’m sure that’s right.”

Customer: *agitated* “I demand to speak to a manager.”

(I come over.)

Me: “Ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need this certificate for $12 and he keeps spelling it wrong.”

Me: “Okay. What is the amount of the gift certificate?”

Employee #1: “$12.”

Me: “How did you spell it?”

Employee #1 & #2: “T-W-E-L-V-E.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not the greatest speller, but I’m pretty sure that’s right.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not.”

Me: “So that we don’t waste anymore gift certificates, why don’t you write the amount?”

(The customer snatches the booklet and pen, and starts to fill in the information. When she gets to the amount she stops, confusion on her face.)

Customer: “How did you spell it again?”

Employee #1: “T-W-E-L-V-E.”

Customer: “Oh. I guess you were right…”

Laptop Flop, Part 6

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work as a computer tech for a major university that has a contract with a government agency. The laptops issued to the government agents are standard except for the software. We try to diagnose and repair everything over the phone, and when we can’t resolve the problem, the customers are required to ship the laptops to us.)

Me: “[Organization]. This is [My Name].”

Customer: “Yeah, I accidentally spilled some soda into my laptop keyboard.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “So I shut it off immediately, but the keys were all sticky.”

Me: “Okay, so we—”

Customer: “So I decided that I would run it through the dishwasher.”

Me: “You what?”

Customer: “So yeah, I figured it wouldn’t hurt anything if I didn’t turn it on right away, while it was still wet.”

Me: “So, your laptop is—”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t want to wait for it to dry. So I figured I could use a blow dryer on it.”

(A blow dryer typically heats up to less than 160 degrees F or about 71 degrees C.)

Me: “So the laptop needs—”

Customer: “But I didn’t actually have a blow dryer, I only had a heat gun.”

(Heat guns are shop and industrial tools used to melt plastics, solder, and a host of other things, often generating heat in the 1100 degrees F [about 600 C] range. Keyboards can melt at temperatures as low as 200 degrees F/93 degrees C.)

Me: “So, you need to—”

Customer: “So, the whole middle of the laptop is melted. Do you think I need to send it in?”

Me: *sigh* “Yes, just ship it to us, we will ship a replacement.”

Laptop Flop, Part 5
Laptop Flop, Part 4
Laptop Flop, Part 3

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