How To Fell His Yell

| QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work for a large national mobile company. Road works cut our fibre cable and the network goes down. One gentleman keeps coming in and terrorising my staff.)

Customer: “You broke the network. I demand to be back up and running, now.”

Me: “Sir, I understand the frustration. Unfortunately we all have to wait until the cable is fixed; there isn’t any way around it.”

Customer: “Why did you cut the cable?”

Me: “Sir, I didn’t cut the cable. The road workers did.”

Customer: *all red faced and angry* “All you people are the same, useless! Why don’t you go out there and help them?!”

Me: *fed up* “Because then there wouldn’t be anyone here for you to yell at.”

Trust Is A Two-Way Street

| Aldergrove, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers

(An elderly woman comes through my till and is writing a cheque to pay for her order, but is having difficulties with her shaky hands. I offer to write it for her.)

Me: “All right, so the total was $62.83. If you would like to check it over yourself and sign it for me, please?”

(She goes to take the cheque from me when a younger woman behind it snatches it from my hands and starts triple-checking the amount on the cheque and the computer screen, before handing it to the elderly woman to sign.)

Young Woman: *snottily* “You just can’t trust some people.”

Me: “Fair enough…” *to the elderly woman* “Here’s your receipt; see you next week!”

(I quickly run the younger woman through, who says nothing the entire time. At the end of the transaction she hands me a $100 dollar bill. I hold it up to the light and start checking all of the security features, the younger woman glaring the entire time.)

Me: “Like you said, you just can’t trust some people.”

Fits The Bill Of An Idiot

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a video game store. A woman comes up, wanting to return a ‘Mario Galaxy’ for the Wii she had purchased.)

Customer: “I want to return this as it doesn’t work. What kind of scam are you running here?!”

Me: “Not a problem. I can return it for you if you have the receipt.”

Customer: “It wouldn’t start and it kept saying please insert an Xbox 360 game disk!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that but the game you purchased only works on a Wii and not an Xbox; if you would like you can exchange it for something else.”

Customer: “BUT IT FIT IN IT! IT SHOULD WORK! IT PLAYS GAMES AND THIS IS A GAME AND IT SHOULD JUST WORK! IT FIT INSIDE!”

Me: “But this is for an entirely different console. Your game is for the Wii and you have an Xbox 360 and they’re not compatible wi—”

Customer: “BUT IT FITS!”

Me: “Very well. Let me ask you a question, if your car ran out of petrol and you filled the tank with milk, would the car run?”

Customer: “NO! WHAT KIND OF STUPID, MORONIC QUESTION IS THAT?!”

Me: “Yes, that’s correct, but does it fit?”

Customer: *deer in the headlights look, and then walks out*