An Attack On Common Sense

| USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Hotels & Lodging

(A man and his wife and a bunch of teens check in. All day, the teens are running freely outside, even when it turns dark. Our part of the city is notorious for crime, and one of the teens nearly gets attacked by a mugger. Fortunately, she is unharmed. The man approaches me.)

Man: “My daughter nearly got attacked outside! What are you going to do about it?”

Me: “What do you want me to do about it?”

Man: *throws hands up* “It’s all your fault! If you’d been watching her better–”

Me: “Sir, I am NOT a babysitter.”

Man: “You sure are! You’re responsible for all the guests here! And she’s a guest! What kind of place is this, that doesn’t care when their charges gets attacked!”

Me: “I’m just a clerk. Now, would you like me to call the police for you?”

Man: “Fine, whatever!”

(I called the police. The policeman came and told him what I wanted to: that he was responsible. Later, the man wrote on a comment card complaining about me for not babysitting his kid!)

He Might Need A Smart Car

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(A customer is waiting in line while I take care of renting a car for another customer. It takes about five minutes, and just as I am finishing up with him, the guy in line throws up his hands in frustration.)

Customer: “Ugh, this is taking forever! This isn’t that difficult, sweetheart!”

Me: “Be right with you. I’m almost done.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a premium member. I’m supposed to pick out my car and not even deal with you. Why the hell do I have to wait here?”

Me: “Oh, the premium members just go downstairs to pick out a car. You actually don’t have to wait for me.”

Customer: “It’d be nice if you had a f****** sign! Way to waste my time!”

Me: “Sir, you’re standing right next to a giant sign that says what I just told you.”

(Customer looks to his right, where there is indeed a giant, standing sign at eye level.)

Customer: “Oh, bet you think you’re so smart.” *stomps off*

Me: “That’s not exactly what I was thinking…”

Assumptions Are The Devil

| MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a sandwich shop. I’m working the front counter and taking an order from a couple in their 60s or 70s.)

Customer: “What’s that you’re wearing?” *she points to my the Egyptian ankh I wear as a necklace*

Me: “It’s an ankh. It’s an Egyptian symbol of life.”

(Customer talks quietly to her husband for a moment then turns back to me.)

Customer: “Do you think it gives you special powers?”

Me: “No, I just like the symbol and life.”

(Customer confers with her husband again then asks, deadly serious.)

Customer: “So, do you worship the devil?”

Me: “No. I also don’t insult people just because I don’t understand them.”