I Want It Now!

| Right | September 12, 2015

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Two Copyrights Still Make It Wrong

| Absecon, NJ, USA | Right | September 12, 2015

(If a photo is professionally taken, the photographer legally owns the picture, and we need a release form from them to make a copy of it. It doesn’t matter if it is a picture of you, your child, whatever; they still own that picture. A woman came in to try to make copies of a school photo of her granddaughter.)

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s a professional photo. We legally can’t make copies of it.”

Customer: “Why not? It’s my granddaughter!”

Me: “Yes, but the photographer owns the rights to it. You’d have to get a release form from them for us to make a copy.”

Customer: “Fine. What about this one?”

(The customers hands me the exact same picture, except it is in black and white, not color.)

Me: “…No, still can’t. It’s still a professional photo. It doesn’t matter if it’s not color.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine.”

Decision Derision

| Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Right | September 12, 2015

(I work in the Historical Research Institute.)

Caller: *immensely cheerful* “Hi, this is Mrs. [Name] from Goodwill!”

Me: “Hello.”

Caller: “How are you?”

Me: “I’m just fine. How are you?”

Caller: “I’m fine, too! Great! I was hoping I could talk to the owner. Is he there?”

Me: “The owner of this building is the National Monument Service, ma’am.”

Caller: “Nice! Is he there?”

Me: “Er, no, the National Monument Service is not here… That is a branch of the government.They have their own offices elsewhere.”

Caller: “Okay, great. Is the head decision maker there?”

Me: “The head decision maker about what in particular?”

Caller: “You know, the person who makes the decisions.”

Me: “In order to direct your call I need to know what decisions you mean, ma’am.”

Caller: “Well, who IS the decision maker?”

Me: *trying a new tack* “Ma’am, we are a subsidiary of the National Academy of Sciences. All high-level decisions originate there. They have their own offices.”

Caller: “No, who is YOUR main decision maker? There! Where you are! YOUR company!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we have various department heads and team leaders and in order to direct your call I need to know what kind of decision you mean when you ask for the head decision-maker.”

Caller: “Decisions about goodness, about having a heart! Decisions about decency! About children in need!”

Me: “Ma’am, I really am uncertain how to direct your call. Could you be more specific about the TYPE of decision that needs to be made?”

Caller: *waxing significantly less cheery* “YOU must have a direct superior. Who is YOUR direct superior?”

Me: “That is Mr. [Name], ma’am; he is in a meeting. But I—”

Caller: *now sounding pissed off* “FINE! I will call back tomorrow!” *click*

This Call Is Temporarily Frozen

| USA | Right | September 12, 2015

(I work in a call center for a large wireless company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Wireless Company]. My name is [My Name]. May I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Anna Arendelle.”

Me: “And the phone number please?”

Customer: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure!”

Customer: *singing* “Do you want to build a snowman? Or ride our bikes around the halls?”

Me: *starts laughing* “I think someone’s talking to pictures on the walls…”

Customer: “It gets a little lonely, all these empty rooms, watching the hours tick by. Tick tock! BYE BYE!” *click*

(I was laughing so hard I had to take a break.)

H2-Slow, Part 9

| MI, USA | Right | September 12, 2015

(One early morning I answer the calls.)

Me: “This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if you carried dehydrated water?”

Me: “I’m sorry, dehydrated water?”

Customer: “Yes, dehydrated water.”

Me: “Are you sure you don’t mean distilled water?”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “No, I definitely mean dehydrated water.”

Me: “Sir, to dehydrate something is to remove the moisture. If you remove moisture from water, you get air.”

Customer: “Oh, never mind!”

Related:
H2Slow, Part 8
H2Slow, Part 7
H2Slow, Part 6

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