A Plate Of Justice With Extra Dressing

| UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

(I am a cashier at a shop that specializes in fine clothing, like for proms and weddings. As such we have MANY white dresses made from materials that are easily soiled.)

Me: “Welcome to [Bridal Store]. How may I help you?”

Mother: “I just wanted to see what kind of dresses you have. I’m getting married soon.”

Me: “Congratulations! My supervisor is just over there, and she can help you out with anything you need.”

(At this point, I notice that a small boy followed her in, and he is carrying one of those family-sized bags of cheesy snacks. I can immediately predict this turning sour.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you’d like, we have a room in the back that your son can play in. We have a selection of toys and movies that he may like.”

Mother: “It’ll be fine. [Son] is a dearie, and he won’t mess anything up.”

(I just shrug it off, but try to keep an eye on the little boy. My attention is diverted by a lady purchasing a bow tie for her husband. By the time I am done with her, the little boy is nowhere to be seen, and I assume that he has gotten bored and gone into the room to play. After a while, the lady comes back up with a layaway check and a girdle.)

Me: “Thank you for making us your choice for your wedding dress. Your total is [total].”

Mother: “You haven’t seen my son, have you?”

Me: “He’s probably in the room in the back. You’re welcome to go back there if you’d like.”

Mother: “I’ll get him after I’m done here.”

(She proceeds to finish her order, gets her son, and leaves. I still feel uneasy about the little boy with the big bag of food.)

Me: “[Owner], I’m going to check inventory. I kinda feel off about that little boy.

(I get up and start searching the dresses, and find at least a half dozen dresses of varying styles and colors, a bunch of tablecloths, and even the dressing room mirrors with nice, smeary orange hand prints. I gather the dresses and cloths up and show them to my boss.)

Owner: *takes one look* “Put them with her dress in layaway. She just chose her bridesmaid dresses.”

(She later came back and tried to contest the extra dresses, claiming that they’re “not the ones she wanted,” and even threatened to report us to our local Better Business Bureau for “framing her innocent child.” Regardless, none of it worked. As a final attempt to make us feel bad, she gave us a picture of her bridesmaids and her wearing all those soiled dresses. We framed it.)

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Not The Brightest Question

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Technology

(I’ve been talking to this customer for about five minutes already, answering questions about telescopes that we sell, and some of the questions just end up getting a bit silly…)

Customer: “So, with these telescopes would you be able to see meteors and other stars with them?”

Me: “You would be able to see meteors though they’re going to pass through your field of view so quickly it’d be pointless trying to find them, as you’d need to be aiming at the exact spot they’re going to pass through. As for other stars, they’re so far away that they will still just look like dots of light in the night sky.”

Customer: “What about our sun? Could you look at that?”

Me: “If you wanted to suffer eye damage, you certainly could, though it’s not recommended.”

Customer: “Doctors can fix blindness though, nowadays, can’t they?”

Retail Nightmares

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Customer: “I can’t find the skirt I came for.”

Me: “Can you describe it for me?”

Customer: “it was blue, lightweight, and had a red flower design around the bottom.”

Me: “I can’t think of a skirt like that in stock right now. Did you see it online? We don’t carry the whole collection here.”

Customer: “No, I had a dream I bought it here. You MUST carry it! My dreams are prophetic!”

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Getting The Booking Is A Bumpy Ride

| ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I work as a front desk agent at a hotel near very upper crust college. Parents’ weekend comes by, and all area hotels are long sold out. A man approaches my desk:)

Guest: “Hi, I have a reservation for Mr. and Mrs. [Name].”

Me: “Yes, you do.” *though I burn inside because this guest has used his Diamond status to bump another guest reservation out so he could get a room* “Let me check you in.”

Guest: “Thank you. And I also have a room for my parents, Mr. and Mrs. [Other Name].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is no reservation. And all area hotels are sold out.”

Guest: “What? This is not right. Let me see your computer.”

Me: “I cannot do that but I assure you there is no reservation.”

Guest: “D*** IT! WHAT IN THE H***!? I CAN NOT HAVE MY EIGHTY YEAR OLD PARENTS MISS THIS WEEKEND! GET THAT ROOM FOR ME!”

(Our manager arrives, and using his skill and access calls the Diamond Guest Service Number. He then turns back to the guest and tries to suppress a smile.)

Manager: “It seems you did make a reservation here for your parents.”

Guest: “Thank you! Finally, some intelligence.”

Manager: “However, per the agreed on policy for Diamond guests, you are only allowed one room reservation where you bump a previously reserved guest. Since you made your reservation after you made your parents’, you bumped them out.”

Guest: “Fine! I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

Manager: “Of course. But we will charge you for your room anyway as you did not cancel in the allotted time.”

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Suffering From A Vowel Movement

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words

(The grocery store I work in has a week every summer in which we put Hawaiian-esque foods on sale, such as tuna, pineapples, spam, pork, coconuts, etc. Neighborhood luaus are very popular in our area during the summer. We have signs proclaiming this all over the store.)

Customer: “I need to speak to your manager right away!”

Me: “I’m the manager. What can I help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’m an English teacher, and I’m appalled by your signs!”

Me: “What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “Whoever made then doesn’t know how to spell! Don’t you people know that you can’t put four consonants in a row?”

Me: “You mean vowels? And that is how you spell ‘Hawaiian,’ ma’am.”

Customer: *exasperated* “God, all of you are such f****** idiots! I’m looking it up on my phone right now!”

(She did just that, and my coworkers and I watched as she suddenly paled, ditched her cart, and left the store. We haven’t seen her back since, even though she was a regular.)

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