Petty People Make Petty Complaints

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am serving a woman who comes in for lunch with her two children. They have been pleasant so far, and are waiting for their order to come out. The children’s food is done slightly before the mother’s, so I bring it out before it gets cold.)

Mother: “Where is my food?”

Me: “It’ll be out in a few minutes, so no worries!”

Mother: “But my children have their food now.”

Me: “Theirs was done a little sooner, but yours is on its way.”

Mother: “It’s not right that they get to eat before I do!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry about the delay. Maybe you could have a few bites of their pizza while you’re waiting?”

Mother: “Are you saying that I should STEAL food from my CHILDREN?”

Me: “Oh, no, not at all! It’s just, sharing is caring, right?”

Mother: “I want to see the manager! This is ridiculous! I am NOT paying for this!”

Me: “Well all righty then…”

(She ends up getting everything for free, even though the manager told me later he was on my side. )

Count On A Teenager

| FL, USA | Math & Science, Money

(I am doing some shopping. I am in the soda aisle, when an older customer comes up to me. I am 18.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I was hoping you could do me a favor. I don’t have a calculator, and I only need one of these.”

(The customer points to sodas marked five for $11.)

Customer: “Could you figure out how much one is?”

Me: “Of course! One is $2.20.”

Customer: *suddenly angry* “If you didn’t want to do it, you could have just said so! There’s no way some stupid teenager like you could figure that out without a calculator! You teenagers can’t even add or subtract without one; how could you possibly work out decimals without one? You just made up a number to get me to go away! I’m on a budget, trying to make sure I have enough to pay for my groceries, and here you are telling me an incorrect number! You could have completely ruined my budget for the rest of the month by making me go over!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry that you think I was trying to do that to you.”

(I pull out my phone and do the math.)

Me: “The price is still $2.20. But just because you only know stupid teenagers, doesn’t mean you should assume everyone you meet is the same. Might I remind you that you had me do it for you, because you didn’t have a calculator?”

Wait For The Waiter

Erie, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I am seated a couple tables down from a mother with her four-year-old daughter. The daughter asks to go to the restroom, and is about to bounce out into the aisle when her mom grabs her arm.)

Mother: “Honey, look right there. Who’s that?”

Daughter: “Waitress.”

Mother: “And what’s she carrying?”

Daughter: “Tray.”

Mother: “And do you think she could see you with that great big tray in the way?”

(The little girl’s eyes go very wide, and she shakes her head.)

Mother: “You need to watch out and not get in the way of the people who work here, sweetheart. You could get hurt, and they could get in trouble for hurting you, even if it was an accident. Understand?”

(The little girl nods hard, and carefully looks both ways before starting for the bathroom. The waitress, who was bringing me my food, looks shocked.)

Waitress: “That never happens. Never.”

Me: “I bet you that mom waited tables at some point.”

(The waitress asks when she stops by to check on that family, and later tells me the mother was a waitress for three years in college, and nearly got sued for splashing hot coffee on customers when a pair of kids playing tag in the aisle tripped her!)

Time Lord Of The Ring

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Top

(We often have contests between stores as to who can sell the most items. This week, it is a specific brand of hat. To promote sales, I am wearing one with Muhammad Ali on it. I am also female.)

Customer: *scoffs* “Why are you wearing Muhammad Ali?”

Me: “I like him.”

Customer: “Oh yeah? What did you think about the fight between him and Cassius Clay?”

Me: “I was pretty impressed, considering that I wasn’t aware that he could bend space and time to fight himself before be changed his name.”

Customer: “…whatever.”

Didn’t Rock Her History Lessons

| Crowsnest Pass, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I am currently serving a couple. We are the first restaurant that tourists heading west come to after passing through the largest rock slide in Canadian history.)

Man: “That rock slide thing was incredible. Do you know anything about it?”

Me: “Actually, yes I know quite a bit. The mountain fell one morning in 1903; 82 million tonnes of rock fell on the sleeping mining town below and killed almost 90 people. The town remains buried. There is an interpretive center where you can learn more if you would like.”

Woman: “That’s okay dear; I do have one question though.”

Me: “Sure, if I know the answer I would be happy to tell you something about the area.”

Woman: “How did they make the rocks jump and miss the highway?”

Me: “Um… well they didn’t. The slide happened in 1903. They put the highway in after, ma’am.”

Woman: “Well I don’t understand; how did they do that?”

(Thankfully at this point, I have to go and deal with some other customers. I can still hear her asking her husband as they leave, to explain it one more time.)