This Customer Is Phoney

| Leeds, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Technology

(It’s the early 2000s, and my dad and I are at my grandma’s house. We see a salesman making his way around the street, and my dad says he’ll deal with him when he gets to us.)

Salesman: “Hello, sir! I’d just like to talk to you about your telephone service.”

Dad: “Sorry, I don’t believe in phones.”

Salesman: “You… don’t believe in phones?”

Dad: “No, I don’t. I don’t think they’ll ever catch on.”

(At this point, I’m not sure if the salesman is playing along or genuinely believes him.)

Salesman: “Oh, but sir! Telephones are very popular now! Everybody uses them! Some people even have small ones they can carry around with them!”

Dad: “That sounds ridiculous! Nope. Sorry, I’m not interested. Goodbye!”

(He then returned inside, and picked up one of his three mobile phones to send a text message.)

5 Stories In A Galaxy Far Far Away…

Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories In A Galaxy Far Far Away… It was recently May the Fourth, and so many of you seemed to participate in ‘Star Wars Day’, that we thought you deserved a roundup!

  1. I Find Your Lack Of T-shirts Disturbing (4,865 thumbs up)
  2. Look Into Your Heart You Know It To Be True (2,344 thumbs up)
  3. I Have A Good Feeling About This (3,222 thumbs up)
  4. Love A Jedi Shall Know (11,180 thumbs up)
  5. Be Scared Of Customers You Will (5,127 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

A Sizeable Problem

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a high-end retail store. It is very well known and we carry a lot of high end clothing brands. There are a few different types of sizing. It is incredibly busy and I have a ton of things in my hands. I have an injury so I shouldn’t be carrying this much.)

Customer: “Hi. Can you help me?”

Me: “One moment, please. My hands are completely full. I will be back in just one moment, though.”

(I drop the merchandise in a dressing room and come back out and she blocks my way, speaking just two inches from my face.)

Customer: “I need to try this on now! You have weird sizes and this is the only one my size!”

(I look at the size and her and clearly she will not fit in the item.)

Me: “Oh, this company runs very small. Can I grab another size for you? The four might be a little tight.”

Customer: “No, I am a four.”

Me: “If you usually wear a four dress size, you might still want to go up a couple of sizes. This brand runs very small.”

Customer: “No. A four is extra large and I don’t think they make any bigger!”

Me: “Oh, no. [Brand] is sized using dress sizes such as two, four, six, eight, ten. A four is the dress size.”

Customer: “No, it is not.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

Customer: “No, you are wrong. It is one, two, three, four.  Four is extra large.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, I know that some companies do use that sizing and others use the dress size and many jeans are actually in inches. The shirt you have is [Brand] and they use dress sizes.”

Customer: “No, they don’t. You have no idea what you are talking about! You are wrong! You are too young to know anything! You are wrong. A four is XL!”

(I am 28 but I have been selling this brand since I was 14.)

Me: “Okay. Go ahead and try the four.”

(I walked away. The customer tried it on and then told us it is sized wrong.)

The Sweet Taste Of Karma

| Milford, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(I am a hostess at a restaurant. There is a regular who comes in with a woman, and the two of them seem to be in their 70s, although the woman seems more like his sister or caregiver than his wife. The man walks with a cane, and is constantly hitting on every woman he sees in the restaurant, to the point where a few of the servers get a little creeped out. On this day, the man has been hitting on everyone like normal, and right before he walks out, he stops at a jar of candy we have at the host stand near a sign that says, ‘guess how many candies and win!’)

Old Woman: “Those aren’t for eating, they’re for guessing.”

Old Man: *to me* “What do I get if I win?”

Me: “You win the jar of candy.”

Old Man: “Can I win the person who put the candy IN the jar instead?” *winks*

Me: “… Well, if you really want to, sure.”

Old Man: *gives me a huge, creepy grin*

Me: “That would be our manager. [Male Manager’s Name].”

Old Man: *drops smile completely* “Oh. Never mind.” *leaves*

Just Got Servered

| UK | Geeks Rule, Liars & Scammers, Technology

(I am answering phones at a company which provides a free trial service of our main product, which we mostly sell to other businesses. Unfortunately, what many people who sign up for the trial want to do is to run ‘Minecraft’ servers, and rarely ever pay us at the end of the trial, so we institute a policy of not allowing game servers of any sort of our trial.)

Me: “[Company]. This is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

(The caller is pre-pubescent.)

Caller: “Uh, I work for Mojang…?”

Me: “No. No, you don’t.” *click*

(My coworkers look over and stare at me for a bit. I explained, but am interrupted by the phone ringing again from the same number. I switch on the speakerphone.)

Me: “[Company]. This is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, Uh, I work for Mojang. I’d like a free trial…?”

Me: “Certainly. I’ll just need you to send us an email from your Mojang email address.”

(I keep a straight face and voice while the rest of the office cracks up in the background.)

Caller: *click*

(He emailed and called in a few more times trying to get a trial, at first claiming to be from Mojang, then claiming to be from his dad’s company. We somehow saw through his cunning ploy each time. He finally fessed up that he was twelve and just wanted to play ‘Minecraft.’ We thanked him for his honesty, but did not give him a trial.)

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