No ID, No Idea, Part 16

| Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I’m working register as my shift starts when a teenaged couple walks in. The guy walks up, girl in tow.)

Customer: “I’d like some cigarettes, please.”

Me: “I’ll need to see your ID.”

Customer: “SERIOUSLY?”

Me: “Uh, yeah. State law, all that.”

Customer: “Do I look like I’m under 18?”

Me: “Well, you look under 30, and that’s really what we go by.”

Customer: “Ugh, FINE. I’ll go out to the car and grab it. What a waste of time.”

(He leaves to go grab his ID out of the car. His girlfriend looks rather embarrassed. He storms back in, and slams his ID on the counter.)

Customer: “There. Can I buy my f****** smokes now?”

(I check his ID. It’s legit.)

Me: “Sir, you turned 18 three days ago.”

Customer: “Well, duh, I know that.”

Me: “My point is, you’re going to be asked for ID for a long time, so, you might wanna be ready for that.”

Customer: “But I’m 18! Why would people ask me for my ID now?”

Me: “Because it’s the law… Can I give you another tip, sir?”

Customer: *sighs* “What?”

Me: “If you don’t want to be carded for age-restricted purchases, you probably shouldn’t be wearing your high-school letterman jacket around. Doesn’t help your case.”

(He looks down at himself and verifies that he is, indeed, gaudily labeled as a high school student. His girlfriend giggles. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts.)

Customer: “Oh… well, okay. Thanks for the advice. Can I get some smokes, now?”

Me: “Certainly.”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 15
No ID, No Idea, Part 14
No ID, No Idea, Part 13

The Coupon Situation Is Fluid

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I overhear a woman complaining down the phone:)

Woman: “I ATE AT [FAST FOOD PLACE] LAST NIGHT, AND I GOT SO SICK, I HAD DIARRHEA!”

(There is a pause, with the other line presumably apologizing profusely.)

Woman: “Can I get some coupons?”

Streets Ahead Of The Customer

| LA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am delivery driving pizza. My store has a 30-minute-or-less guarantee. I get a delivery order for E. 72nd St and head right over there with their order of a drink and a pizza. When I get to the address, I can’t find their house number. I call back to the store and verify the address. It comes back the same. I look some more… no luck. I call back again and they call back the person who placed the order who also verifies the same address. Still can’t find it! On a hunch I drive over to E. 72nd Road and find the guy. Note: this is NOT a nice neighborhood.)

Customer: “You’re late! I want my order for free!”

Me: “I can’t because you gave us the wrong address.”

Customer: “Nope. I get it for free!”

(He tries and tries to get me to give him the order for free, wasting my time.)

Me: “Are you going to pay for this or not?”

(He still insists on trying to talk me into giving it to him, so I flip open the pizza box, grab a slice, and start eating it right in front of him! I turn, get in my car, and head to the store. When I get there I tell my manager what I did, expecting to get chewed out.)

Manager: *with a wink* “You’re going to have to pay for that order… Give me a dollar and don’t do that again.”

(I thoroughly enjoyed that pizza and drink!)

Self-Helpless Against Stupidity

| Middletown, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(One of the local supermarkets recently ‘upgraded’ their self-checkout systems. While nominally faster, the new systems are more complicated and far more prone to bugs. The first time I hit the ‘use a coupon’ button the whole screen is covered with a ‘please wait for attendant’ warning. One of the workers comes over.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I don’t know what happened.”

Attendant: “Let me guess. You needed to use a coupon?”

Me: “Um… yeah?”

Attendant: “No problem. One second.”

(She swipes her ID card, types in a code, swipes the coupon, hits ‘done,’ and puts it in the slot.)

Attendant: “There you go.”

Me: “I guess there’s a problem with the coupon part?”

Attendant: “Yeah, we had a rash of people having issues with the sensor when putting the coupons in the slot who were just about ripping the machine apart instead of asking for any help at all.”

Me: “There’s no way they’d be that—”

(As if scripted, there’s suddenly a loud banging just behind us at the other machine; another shopper’s receipt jams in the printer because they tried to yank it out before it was done printing, and she is now PUNCHING the printer to try to get it to work.)

Me: “…okay, thank you for the help. Have a nice day and God’s speed, brave warrior!”

Attendant: “Once more into the breach!”

Driving You To Not Drink

| Fort McMurray, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a dual restaurant; one dining room, two counters. One is a well known Canadian coffee shop; the other is a burger place. People love their coffee, so often don’t get a soft drink from my side.)

Me: “Okay, you want a number nine with medium fries. Do you want a drink with that to make it a combo?”

Customer: “No, my wife’s grabbing coffee from [Coffee Place].”

(He pays, his wife grabs a table, and I go to wipe down some trays. My coworker hands off the food, but the customer just stands there staring at me.)

Me: “Sorry, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yeah, don’t I get a [Soda] or something?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Because literally less than two minutes ago you told me you didn’t want one.”

Customer: “Well, I should get a drink for the price I paid!” *walks off*

Next Customer: “Did he really get mad because you didn’t give him something be said he didn’t want?”

Me: “Yup. You still wonder why people don’t like this job?”

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