A Colorful Outburst

| Newport, KY, USA | Bigotry, Movies & TV

(At the box office, cashiers are required to repeat the name of the movie to the customer. This policy is now defunct because of the following exchange:)

Customer: “I want two for For Colored Girls.”

Me: *ringing it in* “All right, that’s two for For Colored Girls.”

(The customer then exploded into a twenty-minute tirade about how I, a white man, used the word ‘colored’ in front of her.)

Will Likely Want Something For Three

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(I am a teenage girl. Over the summer and on school breaks, I work part-time as a receptionist in a hair salon run by a family friend in a Jersey Shore resort town. It is a slow Thursday morning in early September when the phone rings. I stop folding towels to answer it.)

Me: “[Salon], [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I would like to lodge a formal complaint.”

(We have no protocols for formal complaints. We are a tiny salon and our clientele are mostly friends of my boss and locals.)

Me: “All right, how can I help you?”

Caller: “My son, [Name], was booked for an appointment this morning at 8:30 and the shop wasn’t open yet!”

(My boss sometimes comes in a little late, but our limited clientele are very understanding. Obviously, this woman isn’t.)

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. Would you like to reschedule your son’s appointment?”

Caller: *ignoring me* “I just don’t understand why you would book us for an appointment when no one is going to be there! My son walked there by himself very early in the morning, and it’s very dangerous on the roads!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. We have open times this afternoon if you’d like to reschedule [Name]’s appointment.”

Caller: “MY SON IS THREE YEARS OLD! HE SHOULDN’T BE THERE IF NO ONE ELSE IS!”

Me: “If your son is three years old, why did he walk across dangerous, heavily-trafficked roads by himself?”

Caller: “HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE B****! I HOPE YOU DIE!” *click*

This Is How Musicals Are Born

| IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(My dad and I go to a hardware store needing eight bags for a gardening project.)

Employee #1: “Hi, can I help you?”

Dad: “Yeah, we need eight bags of mulch.”

Employee #1: “How many?”

Dad: “Eight bags.”

Employee #1: “Eight bags of mulch?”

Dad: “Eight bags of mulch.”

Employee #1 *shouting to Employee #2* “Eight bags of mulch!”

Employee #2: “Eight bags of mulch!”

Me: “Eight bags of mulch!”

Customer Behind Me: “Eight bags of mulch!”

(I laugh pretty hard at that. Later on, I’m putting the eighth bag into the trunk.)

Dad: “Wait, why are you putting that bag in there?”

Me: “…Don’t we need eight bags?”

Dad: “Oh, right! Eight bags of mulch!”

Me: “Eight bags of mulch!”