This Conversation Has No Cardinal Directions

| ID, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Hotels & Lodging

(In college, I worked for a large chain hotel that had several different locations, though each had a different title and some were owned by different companies. A customer calls me up for directions:)

Customer: “Can you tell me why I’m at the Hotel Safari, not the Hotel Lodge?”

Me: “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

Customer: “I got off my plane at the airport, and the guy at [Car Rental Company] told me to go here, and it’s not the right hotel!”

Me: “I apologize that happened to you. Can I give you directions to our hotel?”

Customer: “I want you to explain how you let this happen.”

Me: “I don’t… I don’t work for the car rental company. Someone sent you to the wrong hotel. I don’t know why they did that.”

Customer: “You could have called them to make sure they know where your f****** hotel is!”

Me: ” Would you like me to give you directions?”

(After going back and forth for a few minutes, he finally agrees to let me give him directions.)

Me: “So you’re still at the Hotel Safari, right?”

Customer: “No, I’m driving around looking for your f****** hotel.”

Me: “Can you tell me what street you’re on?”

Customer: “Did you listen to what I’m saying, buddy? I’m not from here. I don’t know the streets.”

Me: “Can you look at a street sign and tell me what it says?”

Customer: *tells me the street name*

Me: “Okay, I need you to go south, that will take you to the freeway on-ramp.”

Customer: “Buddy, I am not from here! How am I supposed to know which way that is?”

Me: “South is the same direction no matter what city you’re in.”

Customer: “That’s not true.”

(We argue about that, until I finally ask him where the setting sun is, on his right or on his left. We argue about the sun, too, until he tells me that it’s on his right.)

Me: “So the sun sets in the west. If the setting sun is on your right, that means you’re facing south, and I just need you to drive the same direction you’re on down that street, and get on the freeway.”

Customer: “Well how will I know where the freeway is?”

Me: “Uh…” *I pause, not knowing how to phrase this without sounding rude*

Customer: “Yeah, that’s a problem, isn’t it, buddy?”

Me: “No, I’m just wondering if you’ve ever seen a freeway before.”

(He insists that I stay on the phone with him and navigate him all the way to the hotel. Finally, he gets in the door, and is just as snippy as I ask him to fill out the guest information form and sign his name.)

Customer: “I didn’t mean to be rude with you, but you have to realize I’m not from here.”

Me: “I apologize. No one ever taught me how to give directions without using street names or cardinal directions.”

(He started to get angry, and then realized I have a point. He took his keys and went to his room, and I never heard from him again.)

5 Stories Of Comic Book Customer Battles

Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Comic Book Customer Battles So the big movie studios have announced their comic book film slate up to 2020! Seeing as they’re not going anywhere any time soon, neither are their customers…

  1. Like Comic Book Guy, Except Much Prettier (5,334 thumbs up)
  2. Morpheus, Tarantino, And The Green Lantern Walk Into A Bar (2,224 thumbs up)
  3. Just Plain Batty (2,049 thumbs up)
  4. Has Faith But Lost All Pope, Part 2 (3,280 thumbs up)
  5. Rated R For Reality (3,245 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Speaking The Same Amount Of The Same Language

| ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

Customer: “Bonjour! Comment ca va?”

Me: “Ca va bien, et toi?”

Customer: “Ca va bien!”

Me: “That’s it. That’s all I got. That’s all I know how to say.”

Customer: “Me, too!”

Me: “Well, we really sounded like we knew what we were talking about, didn’t we?!”

Customer: “We sure did!”

When Pinot Means No

| Sonoma, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Sometimes, the wineries in the Valley join up for a tasting event. People can buy a ticket, get a special wine glass and get to travel to different wineries and get free tastings of specific wines.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Winery]. May I pour you a sample?”

Guest: “What do you have?”

Me: “I have the 2007 Merlot and the 2010 Chardonnay.”

Guest: “Can I have a Pinot Noir?”

Me: “I have Merlot and Chardonnay.”

Guest: “You don’t have a Pinot.”

Me: “No, I do not.”

Guest: “Do you have a Pinot?”

Me: “Yes, we do, although, the Pinot is not being offered for this specific tasting. However, if you’d like to taste the Pinot, you are more than welcome to visit the tasting room upstairs and try it out. Unfortunately, it won’t be complementary.”

Guest: “Oh, never mind… What do you have again?”

Me: “I have the 2007 Merlot, and the 2010 Chardonnay.”

Guest: “I’d like to taste the Cabernet.”

Top 5 Funniest Stories Of October 2014

Not Always Right | Roundups

October 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for last month!

  1. Got Him Out Of A Pickle (3,455 thumbs up)
  2. Just Telling It Like It Is (3,303 thumbs up)
  3. God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others (2,585 thumbs up)
  4. Gonna Spread Her Terror Across The Street (2,340 thumbs up)
  5. It’s All Peachy (2,165 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Page 922/3,085First...920921922923924...Last