Putting The Day Into A High Note

, | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

(I am working the drive-thru at a fast food restaurant, and we have been having a rough night. It has been non-stop busy, and several customers have been very rude. A car pulls up, and I greet them.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Customer: *singing in mock-opera style* “Just a momeeeennnt!”

(Laughter erupts from the backseat, as a coworker and I exchange a look, stifling laughter.)

Me: “Just let me know when you’re ready!”

Customer: *still singing* “Can I get twwooooo large chocolate shaaaakes!?”

(My headset is off, because I am laughing loudly as I enter their order.)

Customer: “And one laaarge strawberry shaaaake?”

Me: “Okay, I will have your total at the second window!”

(They get to the window, and it’s a woman and two young girls in the back, all of them with big grins, and giggling.)

Me: “That was absolutely fantastic! My coworker and I couldn’t stop laughing!”

Customer: “Did we make your night?”

Me: “Oh, yes!”

(After the customer leaves, we spend another 10 minutes just laughing until our sides hurt. Thank you so much for the laugh! It’s people like you who make it all worth it!)

The Greatest Deal In American History

| Delaware County, PA, USA | History

(A car dealership just outside of Philadelphia is running an oil change special for $17.76. I overhear the following conversation at a convenience store.)

Customer #1: “[Car dealership] doesn’t make sense. $17.76 for an oil change. Don’t specials always have 99 cents in the end?”

Customer #2: “I know, it’s confusing! Probably just some number they pulled out of their a**!”

Clerk: “The Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776. Here. In Philadelphia!”

Customers #1 & #2: *blank stares*

Waiting For That Light Bulb Moment That Never Comes

| USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a call center making camping reservations for several state parks.)

Me: “Okay, are you looking for an electric or a non-electric site?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “Well, one site has electricity for you to hook an RV or a camper up to, and the non-electric has no hookups.”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “An electric site has electricity. A non-electric site does not.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

Me: “Um… an electric site has an outlet for you to plug things into. A non-electric site does not.”

Customer: “So… what’s the difference again?”

Me: *sighs* “Are you camping in a tent or an RV?”

(I ended up being on the call for 40 minutes. The customer continued asking me the difference between an electric site and a non-electric site.)

A Negative Reaction To The Lotion

| NB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I work in the beauty department.)

Me: “Good afternoon! Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “Well, I’m here to return something.”

Me: “That’s a shame. May I ask why you’re returning it?”

Customer: “Well I just didn’t like it.”

(There are only two ways we can return a product: if it’s defective, or if they have an allergic reaction.)

Me: “I’m very sorry you didn’t like the product. However, I am unable to return it at the time. Can I ask you how much did you use?”

(The customer hands me over the product and glares at me. I open the product to find that the entire thing has been used.)

Me: “Ma’am, the bottle is empty.”

Customer: “Well of course it is! I had to use it to find out if I liked it!”

Me: “You can’t return this product, as there is nothing there to return. It’s like bringing in a shoe box with no shoes in it!”

Customer: “Well, that just does not make any sense! You people should return this! I didn’t like it! This company is worthless!” *stomps off*

And The Children Shall Lead

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I am cleaning off my register, when I hear two customers arguing in my line.)

Customer #1: “I was here first!”

Customer #2: “No, I was!”

Customer #1: “I WAS! I was here literally five seconds before you, b****! It’s my turn!”

(Customer #2 rams her cart into Customer #1’s and gets ahead.)

Customer #2: “I win!”

(Customer #1 flips her off and goes to the next lane. I’m not really sure what to do, so I just start ringing up her groceries.)

Me: “And how are you today?”

Customer #2: “Oh, just fine! Can you believe the childish things people will do just to get ahead in line? I mean really!”