Board Of Mistrustees

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I am interning at a business and working reception. A customer calls, wanting the information of a man who used to work there.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Business]. Can I help you?”

Customer: “I need the contact information for [Name]. It’s very important.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can’t give out the information of people who no longer work here.”

Customer: “But I just need his information. It’s very important.”

Me: “We are no longer affiliated with [Name] and cannot give out his information. You could try looking online.”

(This back and forth goes on for some time with me trying to explain that we can’t just give out people’s personal info.)

Customer: “Why aren’t you answering my question!? I’m reporting you to the board of trustees! What is your name?”

Me: “My Name is [My Name] and you can do that if you wish.”

(She then hangs up. As far as I know we don’t have a board of trustees and I’m a six week intern from out of the country so I’m not sure what she was hoping to accomplish…)

Unaware Of How Unaware He Is

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

(I work at a hotel that accommodates a lot of business travelers during the week. Shortly after checking in a sharply dressed executive type, I get a call from his room.)

Guest: “Hey, I think your sink is broken. I keep waving my hand in front of the sensor and nothing’s happening.”

Me: “There is no sensor, sir. Just turn the faucet on.”

Guest: “Oh! Okay, great! And I can just use these towels to dry my hands, right?”

Me: “Um… absolutely.”

Guest: “Great! Thanks!”

(A few minutes later he calls down again.)

Guest: “Hi there! Just curious. Is this remote for the TV or something else?”

Me: “It’s for the TV, sir. There should be a list there of local and premium channels as well.”

Guest: “Oh good! Just wanted to make sure.”

(And in another few minutes…)

Guest: “Hi, sorry to bother you again but I’m expecting a phone call in a little bit. When the phone rings, do I just pick up or…?”

Not Central To Their Understanding

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography

(I am from Central America but have lived in Colorado all my life. People usually ask what part of Mexico I’m from and I just have to give them a smile and let them know I am in fact not from Mexico but a small Central American country. I am helping a customer check out.)

Customer: “Wow you have no accent even though you’re Mexican!”

Me: “I’ve lived in Colorado all my life but I’m actually from a small Central American country.”

Customer: “Oh! Maria, my maid, is from Central America. Do you know Maria!?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there are many Maria’s from Central America. Where is she from?”

Customer: “Maria! You must know Maria!! My maid! MARIA!”

Me: “Well, I’m from…”

Customer: “Nooo. Maria! Maria. Maria! From Central America! You KNOW her! Mmaarriiiaa!”

(This went on for a few minutes. Obviously we never figured out who she was talking about even though she kept saying the name Maria longer and louder.)

Oblivious To The Obvious, Part 2

| England, UK | Crazy Requests

(I deal with customer queries on the phone, but we have no automated system that pops up with details. Calls just come straight through.)

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [Bank]. Can I take your name please?”

Customer: “It’s [Customer].”

Me: “Hello, Mr. [Customer], how can I help?”

Customer: “I want you to send me a list of my direct debits on this account.”

Me: “Sure. Can I take your account details please?”

Customer: “Isn’t it obvious?”

Me: ” … No?”

Related:
Oblivious To The Obvious

Customer Service Stripped Bare

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I’m working in the shoe department of a popular retail store when my manager comes running towards me.)

Manager: “[My Name], did you see a naked guy run through this department a second ago?!

Me: “Uh… no?”

Manager: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes! I think I’d remember that!”

Manager: “Right…”

(He ran off down the aisle and I didn’t hear from him for the rest of the night. I heard from a coworker later on that the man in question had run out of the store, through the parking lot, and into a waiting car wearing nothing but socks and sneakers.)

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