Shake Up The Calorie Count

| Perth, WA, USA | Right | September 16, 2015

(Our shake/sundae machine is down for cleaning and boy, did that create a lot of unhappy customers.)

Customer: “I’d like a chicken burger meal with a chocolate shake, please.”

Me: “Sorry, our shake machine is down for maintenance at the moment. Would you like to try a chocolate frappe instead?”

Customer: “What’s in that?”

Me: “Blended ice, chocolate, and whipped cream on top. It’s—”

Customer: “Oh, no, that’d have way too much sugar and fat. I’ll have a [Soda] instead.”

Me: “…Okay, then.”

(Frappes have a lower calorie count than both shakes AND [Soda]. I just… sigh.)

Stupid By Half

| GA, USA | Right | September 15, 2015

(A customer comes up with two separate checks. The server put one dinner on the first check but should have been on the second check. Not a problem… or so we thought.)

Customer #1: “This dinner wasn’t supposed to be on my ticket.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. I’ll just deduct it and move it over to the other ticket.”

(Customer #2 hands me her ticket and I make the changes. When the changes are done…)

Customer #1: “Now, I want to pay for my ticket and half of that plate you just put on [Customer #2]’s ticket…”

Needs To Get His Fax Straight

| WA, USA | Right | September 15, 2015

(We are a small library without a public fax machine. We have a private business fax machine for office use only. We still get spam faxes because the number is publicly listed.)

Me: “Well, I was going to send the weekly report to accounting but something is coming in on the fax.”

Coworker: “Ooooh, is it another offer for a discount trip to Bermuda?”

Me: “It’s some financial thing. Man, it’s eight pages long. Woah. This is someone’s debt consolidation paperwork.”

Coworker: “What? Is it for someone who works here?”

Me: “No… but they apparently live in town.”

(I attempt to call the customer multiple times as a courtesy, but their voice-mail inbox is full. They show up the next day anyway.)

Customer: “Hi. So, uh you should have some papers for me?”

Me: “Did you have your financial institution use the library’s fax line?”

Customer: “No, it was their idea. They say they do that for a lot of customers.”

Me: “Ok. You need to explain to them that isn’t appropriate. Our fax machine is for library business only. I actually thought your fax was spam at first because we weren’t expecting anything. It could have been shredded. It’s also not very secure. We have volunteers and maintenance staff coming and going all the time and we don’t guard the fax machine because we don’t normally receive sensitive documents. We had to look over these papers just to figure out what they were and there is information on here that we did not need to know about you, like your social security number. We couldn’t reach you to warn you either. If you had contacted us first we could have told you not to use our fax.”

Customer: “Oh… so, like, does that mean I can’t send my paperwork back through you guys?”

Me: “You may not. There is a pay-fax machine at the copy shop across town. Please inform the company not to use our fax again. Any other paperwork that is sent will be shredded.”

(The customer shrugged and left. I’m still not sure I got through to them. At the very least I know never do business with that debt consolidation company!)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 42

| USA | Right | September 15, 2015

(The customer in question is trying to purchase just under $300 worth of material. Their card declines.)

Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry. Let me go outside and call my bank.”

(Comes back in a few minutes later on the phone.)

Customer: “Can you take a check over the phone?”

Me: “Do you mean a credit card?”

Customer: “No, a check. Like if I give you all the information off it can you take it over the phone?”

Me: “…No. I can’t take a check over the phone, sorry.”

(His wife shows up 15 minutes later with a check. I run in through our machine just to be safe. It is also declined.)

Me: “Sorry, your check was also declined. I’ll only be able to take cash as payment.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why it won’t go through! We just deposited $30,000 yesterday!”

Me: *trying to hide my skepticism* “I’m sorry for the trouble. Sometimes banks can be troublesome. Maybe you should call them again?”

(They went outside to ‘call their bank’ but ended up leaving in their new SUV, and new trucking pulling their new trailer.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39

At A Complete Price Loss

| SC, USA | Right | September 15, 2015

(I work in a clothing store popular with teens and young adults. While we are in the middle of our biggest sale of the year, all prices are CLEARLY marked. Some items are marked with a percentage while others have an actual dollar value. There is no sign anywhere in the store saying that everything is 40% off.)

Customer: “So, are the denim jackets 40% off?”

Me: “I’m not sure, but I can check for you if you’d like to bring one up.”

Customer: “But the sign said they were 40% off.”

Me: “Oh, the sign right above the jacket? The,n yes, that would be the price. But if you’d like, I can double-check that for you on the register.”

(Customer walks away, looking around for a moment before bringing up one of the jackets. I scan it and tell him the price.)

Me: “It’s going to be $32.”

Customer: “But the sign says $35…”

Me: “It must be mis-signed. The register says it’s $32.”

Customer: “But the sign says $35.”

Me: “Yes, but you’ll only have to pay $32. We probably just missed the sign when the prices changed.”

(At this, the customer gives me a confused look before taking the jacket and walking away to put it up before walking out of the store.)

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