A Real Crappy Photoshop Job

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Crazy Requests, One-Liners, Technology

Customer: “Can you remove this person—” *indicates one child right in the middle of a family photo* “—from this photo? Oh, and be careful, there was a dog taking a fat s*** behind him. If you can see it, remove it, too.”

Must Be On A Naughty Diet

, | MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’ve just started a job at a certain Canadian coffee shop franchise. It’s my first job, and I’m still learning how to deal with people and learning the items we sell.)

Customer: “I’d like a naughty donut, please.”

Me: *pause* “What kind of donut?”

Customer: “A naughty donut.”

(I entered in ‘assorted donut’ and he pays. My coworker comes up and reads the screen, going over to the donut section.)

Coworker: “Hi, sir, what type of donut did you want?”

Customer: “A naughty one.”

Coworker: “Um… what kind?”

Customer: *points* “A Peanut Crunch.”

Me: “Oh, a NUTTY donut!”

A True Basket Case

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I’m a cashier. I’m currently ringing up a customer that’s attending a small child, maybe four or five years old.)

Me: “You know these are buy one, get one free? Would you like to go back and get another one?”

Customer #1: *sighs loudly* “Oh, s***.” *sighs again* “Could you get it for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s crazy today and there’s no way we could leave the registers. If you like, I can give you the discount, you can check out, and then go back and get another?”

Customer #1: *sigh* “Is there anyone who could get me another one?”

Me: *a little taken aback* “I’m really sorry, ma’am, but we are all really busy and there’s no one free.”

Customer #1: *silence*

Me: “Did you want to check out and then get another?”

Customer #1: *yelling* “You know what? Forget it! My friend told me she had horrible customer service here, too. I don’t want another one!”

Me: “…Are you sure?”

Customer #1: “YES!”

Me: “All right, then.”

(As I’m ringing her up, she continues to insult me and the business. A woman behind her says.)

Customer #2: “You don’t have to shop here, ma’am.”

Me: “All righty, here you go. Have a good one, ma’am.”

(The little boy with her speaks up. We have a playground on our property for the kids while the adults are shopping.)

Little Boy: “Can we go to the playground?”

Customer #1: “NO! We’re not going to this playground. We’re going to find another playground.”

(The boy immediately throws a huge tantrum, screaming and all. Nobody pays him any attention, looks at them strangely, or does much of anything. The woman looks at everyone and screams:)

Customer #1: “HE’S DISABLED!!!!!”

Customer #2: “Nobody said anything. I think you need an attitude adjustment!”

(The woman grumbles and leaves. Later I find out from my coworker that the customer came up to her in the parking lot, told her that she got terrible service, and showed her the receipt with my name on it.)

Coworker: “I was confused, because she said that the cashier was very rude. I saw your name and thought, ‘you’re not rude!'”

(Several weeks later, the same customer shows up and just so happens to get into my line. This time, we’re selling cherries. We display them in small quart-sized wooden baskets. We dump the cherries into plastic grocery bags for weighing, and then reuse the wooden baskets to display more produce. The woman has brought some cherries up to the register. I pour the cherries into a plastic bag.)

Customer #1: “I’d like to keep them in the basket.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we reuse the baskets. You can buy it for 50 cents.”

Customer #1: “UGH!” *turning to the other customers* THIS is why I don’t shop here! They just want to gouge you! They already overcharge you for everything and wanna charge you for this basket! I hate this place!”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to shop here, ma’am.”

Customer #1: “I KNOW!”

(All of the customers behind her were quite pleasant and stared at her in disbelief.)