No ID, No Idea, Part 18

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(We ask for ID when the credit or debit card purchase is over 15 dollars. This customer’s total is $97.94.)

Me: “Perfect, red for credit or type in the pin if it’s a debit card.”

(The customer selects credit.)

Me: “All right. Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Why the h*** do you need to see that?”

Me: “To verify that the card matches the purchaser, sir.”

Customer: “That’s why credit cards exist,boy! So that I can purchase whatever I want without ID! That’s how the world works son, isn’t it?”

Me: “Well, sir, how do I know it’s you and not somebody stealing your card?”

Customer: “Because it’s me! Nobody stole my card, did they?! I’m the one buying this right now with this card!”

Me: “I would have no idea of knowing that unless I saw your Identification…”

(He then gave me his ID and was very pleasant for the rest of the transaction. But I guess I learned how the world worked?)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 17
No ID, No Idea, Part 16
No ID, No Idea, Part 15

Getting Crazier Organ(ically)

| Willow Grove, PA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

Me: “[Bookstore]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, do you have any books about dogs?”

Me: “Yes, we have an extensive section all about pets.”

Caller: “Dog spleens?”

Me: “Um, we have a smaller section of veterinarian books, but—”

Caller: “COOKING dog spleens?”

Me: “Uh…”

(The caller finally broke into laughter in his own voice, revealing himself to be my boyfriend in one of his weird moods.)

Buy One, Get One Free a From Thought

, | Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A customer presents me with a buy one get one free for a burger.)

Customer: “How much would this come to?”

Me: “That’s [price].”

Customer: “Okay, and how much would it be if I didn’t use the coupon and only got one burger?”

Me: *That’s [same price].”

Customer: “But how come it’s the same price?”

Never Too Late (Or Early) To Apologize

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Love/Romance

(A young woman in her late teens approaches the counter — her face is beet red. I’m a new hire and don’t want to deal with her, as she’s clearly angry, but she catches my eye before I can hide in the back.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am! What can I get for you today?”

(The woman glares at me, but takes a deep breath and rubs at her eyes– then holds up her hand as though she is physically restraining herself from doing anything stupid.)

Customer: “Look. My boyfriend just broke up with me and I’m really not in a good mood but I’m not angry with you and I’m really sorry you have to deal with me because I’m going to be rude and mean and you don’t deserve that. Okay? Sorry in advance.”

Me: *taken aback* “Er… all right?”

Customer: “Could I f****** get the unhealthiest f****** thing on your f****** menu, please? F***.”

(Here’s the kicker: she was much more polite than most people I dealt with that day!)

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Realized He’s Nuts Before You Did

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am the customer in this case and can only blame it on the fact that I hadn’t had any coffee yet!)

Waiter: “And what would you like, ma’am?”

Me: “Um, the granola; does it come with yogurt?” *points at meal description that has ‘YOGURT’ at the top of the list*

Waiter: “Yes.”

Me: “Oh, okay. And the toasted coconut… would I be able to get this without the coconut?”

(I see the incredulous look on the waiter’s face. I’m basically asking him to go through mixed granola and pick out coconut shreds by hand, and try to save face…)

Me: “…or would that be a tall order?”

Waiter: “Yes, ma’am.  That would be a VERY tall order.”

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