Have No Old Faithful In Humanity

| West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(My family and I go to visit my aunt and uncle in West Yellowstone, Montana, which is about an hour north of Yellowstone National Park. There are painted bison statues around town that are been part of a contest. My mom and I stop at a tourist information center.)

Mom: “Excuse me; do you have a map of where the buffalo are?”

Employee: “Oh, they’re all over the park. You just have to drive around and keep an eye out for them.”

Mom: “…No, the painted ones around town.”

Employee: “Oh! Yes, I do have a map of those.”

Mom: “Do people seriously ask you that?”

Employee: “Yes. They also ask when Old Faithful is turned on and when the bears are let out.”

The Day Isn’t The Only Thing That Is Off

| Tamaulipas, México | Extra Stupid

(I’m answering the phones and redirecting calls to the appropriate areas of the store.)

Caller: “Hey, can I talk to [Name]?”

Me: “Just a minute. Can I have your name, please?”

Caller: “…Er, tell him it’s… John.”

Me: “Just a minute, please.”

(I call to the area and they tell me it’s his day off, I get back to the caller.)

Me: “I’m sorry but [Name] didn’t come in today.”

Caller: “Come in where? What?”

Me: “It’s his day off. He won’t be here today.”

Caller: “Day off? From what?”

(As I’m about to answer, I hear someone in the background.)

Background Voice On Call: “THEY ARE SAYING HE DIDN’T GO TO WORK TODAY, DUMBA**!”

(The line disconnects.)

Don’t Call My Name, Antonio

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Me: “Good morning, you’ve reached [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to speak to Antonio.”

(I am new, but I don’t think there is an Antonio working at the Hotel.)

Me: “Are you sure you have the right number? Or do you know what department he works in?”

Caller: “Of course I have the right number! This is [Hotel]! Antonio is one person higher than the General Manager and one person lower than the owner! Just put me through to Antonio!”

(At this point I ask my supervisor whether we have an Antonio.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, Antonio is not usually based at our hotel. He is based at [Company].”

Caller: “I don’t care if he’s based on the f****** moon! Put me through to the moon!”