Don’t Call My Name, Antonio

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Me: “Good morning, you’ve reached [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to speak to Antonio.”

(I am new, but I don’t think there is an Antonio working at the Hotel.)

Me: “Are you sure you have the right number? Or do you know what department he works in?”

Caller: “Of course I have the right number! This is [Hotel]! Antonio is one person higher than the General Manager and one person lower than the owner! Just put me through to Antonio!”

(At this point I ask my supervisor whether we have an Antonio.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, Antonio is not usually based at our hotel. He is based at [Company].”

Caller: “I don’t care if he’s based on the f****** moon! Put me through to the moon!”

An Attack On Common Sense

| USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Hotels & Lodging

(A man and his wife and a bunch of teens check in. All day, the teens are running freely outside, even when it turns dark. Our part of the city is notorious for crime, and one of the teens nearly gets attacked by a mugger. Fortunately, she is unharmed. The man approaches me.)

Man: “My daughter nearly got attacked outside! What are you going to do about it?”

Me: “What do you want me to do about it?”

Man: *throws hands up* “It’s all your fault! If you’d been watching her better–”

Me: “Sir, I am NOT a babysitter.”

Man: “You sure are! You’re responsible for all the guests here! And she’s a guest! What kind of place is this, that doesn’t care when their charges gets attacked!”

Me: “I’m just a clerk. Now, would you like me to call the police for you?”

Man: “Fine, whatever!”

(I called the police. The policeman came and told him what I wanted to: that he was responsible. Later, the man wrote on a comment card complaining about me for not babysitting his kid!)

He Might Need A Smart Car

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(A customer is waiting in line while I take care of renting a car for another customer. It takes about five minutes, and just as I am finishing up with him, the guy in line throws up his hands in frustration.)

Customer: “Ugh, this is taking forever! This isn’t that difficult, sweetheart!”

Me: “Be right with you. I’m almost done.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a premium member. I’m supposed to pick out my car and not even deal with you. Why the hell do I have to wait here?”

Me: “Oh, the premium members just go downstairs to pick out a car. You actually don’t have to wait for me.”

Customer: “It’d be nice if you had a f****** sign! Way to waste my time!”

Me: “Sir, you’re standing right next to a giant sign that says what I just told you.”

(Customer looks to his right, where there is indeed a giant, standing sign at eye level.)

Customer: “Oh, bet you think you’re so smart.” *stomps off*

Me: “That’s not exactly what I was thinking…”