Those Books Can Be Killer To Finish

| KY, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Books & Reading, History

(I’m the customer in this situation:)

Me: “I’m looking for a copy of Les Mis and I found several different copies from different publishers. What do you recommend?”

Staff Member: “Well, it depends. Do you want a smaller-size copy that’d fit in your purse so you can take it anywhere?”

Me: “Well… the print in those can get pretty tiny… Actually, I’m looking for a book hefty enough to kill someone with.”

Staff Member: “…”

Me: “Sorry.”

Staff Member: “In that case, I suggest Tolstoy or Proust.”

Unable To Make Contact

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, School, Technology

(I work in the IT Help Desk of a university.)

Caller: “I’m calling about the homepage for the university.”

Me: “Okay…”

Caller: “It’s terrible! I can’t see any contact information on the page at all!”

Me: “Is it [website URL]?”

Caller: “I don’t know! I’m not on that site now!”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me the URL to the site you’re having this issue with?”

Caller: “No! Your homepage doesn’t have any contact information! It’s terrible!”

Me: “Well, I’m on the [website URL], which is what our homepage is, and there is contact information at the bottom of the page.”

Caller: “That’s not good enough! You don’t have contact information on the page!”

Me: “Yes, we do. It’s at the bottom of the page.”

Caller: “Well, I’m a Harvard graduate and as an educated person, I didn’t think to look down there, so obviously the page is terrible.”

Me: “Okay, well, at the bottom of the page-”

Caller: “You’re telling me there’s the information there but I didn’t see it?!”

Me: “What I’m trying to say is that it has a place to comment on the page. If you click-”

Caller: “I’m telling you about this!”

Me: “Okay, but I don’t run the website. So, if you click-”

Caller: “This is a business call! I will never call again! I’m just trying to tell you the website sucks!”

Me: “Well, thanks for letting us know. Have a great day.”

Tried Explaining Until The Cows Came Home

| Santa Monica, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

Customer: “What type of leather is this bag made from?”

Coworker: “It’s made of cow.”

Customer: “What’s a cow?”

(My coworker tries to hide his general shock at this question.)

Coworker: “You know the black and white spotted animal? It lives on a farm?”

Customer: *shakes her head* “I don’t know.”

Coworker: “Where do we get our milk from?”

Customer: *shakes her head again* “I don’t know.”

(My coworker stopped short of actually mooing like a cow.)

Blood Type Z-Negative

| Orange County, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(We carry liquid candy blood packs at our novelty shop. One looks like a regular blood IV bag and the other is green and is called ‘zombie blood.’ A customer comes up to the counter with a worried look and points to the zombie blood.)

Customer: “Is this REAL?”

Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’, Part 2

, | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(A customer calls in to a bank call center.)

Customer: “I need to make a deposit.”

Me: “I can certainly help you with that deposit. What do we need to deposit? Cash, check, money order?”

Customer: “I need to deposit money.”

Me: “What type of deposit? There are different ways to make a deposit depending on what you need to deposit.”

Customer: “I need to deposit cash.”

Me: “I can find you the closest ATM so you can make your cash deposit.”

Customer: “You mean I have to go somewhere to make the deposit?”

Me: “Yes, if you are depositing cash.”

Customer: “Well, can’t I just deposit it over the phone?!”

Me: No, I’m sorry. There is not a way to deposit cash over the phone.”

Customer: “What kind of service is this?” *click*

Related:
Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’

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