Totally Lost Their Marbles

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, History

Museum Patron: “Yeah, hi, we’ve looked at everything here. Where is the ‘real” art?”

Me: “Uhm, did you look in all these rooms downstairs and upstairs?”

Museum Patron: “Yeah, we saw all that but it’s just a bunch of marble statues. Where is the REAL art?”

Me: “Ma’am, this IS real art.”

You Can See Where This Is Going

| Toronto, ON, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A big part of my job involves helping users log on to the company website.)

Me: “Remember, the new password that you create must contain at least one letter and at least one number.”

Customer: *becoming irate* “What? One number? How am I supposed to remember that?”

Me: “I would suggest just choosing a word and then putting the number one at the end of it.”

Customer: “I’m never going to remember that! Can I use two numbers?”

Me: “Yes, as long as you have at least one number.”

Customer: “But, wait just a minute. I have another question. Can I use three numbers?”

Me: “…yes.”

As Sick As A Parrot

| New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(My friend is a small-mammal handler at a zoo. Today, she’s taken a particularly docile ferret out to let visitors encounter it first-hand. A couple comes in with a young child. I’m standing in the background.)

Mother: “Ooh, look, the zoo lady’s got a baby raccoon!”

Father: “That’s some sort of weasel!”

Child: “Mom, I wanna see the octopus.”

Mother: “Let’s go see the nice lady with the raccoon.”

Father: “Weasel.”

(The mother gives the father a look and then approaches my friend.)

Mother: “‘Excuse me, miss, what kind of animal is that?”

Friend: “This is a ferret. Her name is [Name] and she’s very friendly. You can pet her if you take care to avoid—”

Father: “Parrot!? That’s a weasel!”

Friend: “It’s a ferret. They’re in the weasel family, like—”

Father: “You sure?”

Friend: “Yes, very sure. Ferrets are among—”

Father: “Let’s go see the octopus, [Child].”

(They leave in a hurry. Curious, I follow them outside.)

Father: “D*** thing must have been sick. Pretty irresponsible of them to expose us to a sick parrot.”

Child: “Ferret.”

Father: “We just saw the parrot. I thought you wanted to see the octopus.”

Child: “Daddy, is your hearing aid on?”

No Meat In Their Brain, Part 3

| MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m working the register at a popular coffee shop chain. A woman inspects our breakfast sandwiches for a few minutes before approaching me.)

Customer: “Can I get one of the reduced fat turkey bacon sandwiches?”

Me: “I’m so sorry; we just sold out of those. Is there anything else I can offer you today?”

Customer: “Well, what else do you have that’s vegetarian?”

Related:
No Meat In Their Brain, Part 2
No Meat In Their Brain

Coupon Complications! Theme Of The Month Roundup

Not Always Right | Roundups

Coupon Complications! Theme Of The Month Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s theme of the month!

  1. Save Us From The Super Savers (979 thumbs up)
  2. Causing Bay-hem (1,073 thumbs up)
  3. Reached Rock-Bottom Dollar (1,230 thumbs up)
  4. Self-Helpless Against Stupidity (1,344 thumbs up)
  5. A Lack Of Branding Understanding (1,488 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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