An Extra Toast To All The Idiots

| Round Rock, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

(I work at a restaurant making sandwiches. My coworker asked me to talk to a customer over the phone who wanted to voice a complaint about food he ordered several days ago.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes, hi. Uh, I ordered a sandwich from y’all a while ago, and the bread was too hard for me. I’d like the names of the employees working so I can leave a complaint.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that ,sir. Please tell me about the order so I can rectify the problem.”

Customer: “Well, I ordered the steak and cheese foot long, and when I tried eating it the bread was too crunchy.”

Me: “Uh, sure… Did you have this sandwich toasted, by any chance?”

Customer: “Yes, I did. Why?”

Me: “Well, usually when you toast a sandwich, the bread tends to get kind of crunchy, ’cause, you know, It’s toasted…”

Customer: “Well, it was too toasted!”

Me: “Okay… Did you tell the employee that you didn’t want it as toasted?”

Customer: “Well, I wanted it extra toasted, but that was too much!”

Me: “So, let me understand this: your complaint is that the sandwich you wanted extra toasted, more than recommended, was in fact too toasted?”

Customer: “Are you being smart with me here?!”

Me: “Someone in this conversation has to be.”

Seems To Have Enough Baggage Already

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I am in the middle of ringing up Customer #1, when the next person in line dumps her purchases on the counter. She then seems to notice the items I am scanning for Customer #].)

Customer #2: “Those aren’t mine.”

Me: “I know. I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done.”

Customer #2: *looks annoyed*

(Customer #1 only has a few items that are easily carried by hand, so I ask him whether he wants a bag or not. As soon as he leaves, I start to scan Customer #2’s items, and bag them for her as well. She has several small items.)

Customer #2: *clearly offended* “Why didn’t you ask me if I wanted a bag?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer #2: *gestures towards the retreating back of Customer #1* “You asked HIM if HE wanted a bag! Why wouldn’t you ask me the same thing?”

Me: “Um… I figured you might need one?”

Customer #2: “You should have asked!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Would you like a bag?”

Customer #2: “OF COURSE I want a bag!”

The Other Shoe Never Dropped

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I’m at work in a store that exclusively sells shoes. Sometimes when people get unspecific about what they want, I like to joke with them about it.)

Me: “Hi there! Were you searching for anything in particular today?”

Customer: “Shoes.”

Me: *dead-pan* “Sorry, we’re out of those.”

Customer: “WHAT?”

(The customer looks seriously angry and tries to storm out before I chase her down and tell her that we do, in fact, have some shoes left.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 6

| MT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work the customer service and return desk and am in the process of returning several items of clothing for a customer because they did not fit her children. Before I can finish the transaction and hand her back her money, she hands me a coupon.)

Customer: “When I bought these items, the cashier didn’t scan my coupon. Can you just do it now?”

Me: “… I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Just take this coupon off during the return for me. I wanted to use it.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a return transaction, I can’t use a coupon on a return.”

Customer: “Then return my items and resell them to me with the coupon!”

Me: “So you want me to return your items, resell them to you with your coupon, and then return them a second time?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Knowing that if I resell you the items with the coupon, you will receive less money back on the second return because of it?

Customer: “Yes!”

(We had to have a manager explain to her that it wasn’t worth it to do all that just for a coupon.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 5
Refunder Blunder, Part 4
Refunder Blunder, Part 3

Enough To Make You Go Postal

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(Like many other call centers, if a customer immediately wants to speak to a supervisor, we’re supposed to get as much information as possible and see if we can solve the problem ourselves, since the number of escalations is factored into performance reviews and bonuses. I overhear a coworker on a call.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [Coworker]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I want to speak to a supervisor.”

Coworker: “Okay, ma’am, but first may I ask what the issue is and have your account number, so that my supervisor can better assist you?”

Caller: “It’s [number], and I’m calling because I lost my user manual and requested a replacement, but I never received it! I want the person I talked to before fired!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. When did you request the replacement?”

Caller: “Ten minutes ago!”

(My coworker looks at the account and sees there was an order placed a few minutes before for a free physical copy of the manual to be sent out.)

Coworker: “Oh, I do see the order here, but they must’ve misunderstood. You wanted it via email?”

Caller: “No, regular mail.”

Coworker: “… then it wouldn’t have arrived yet, ma’am. The order was placed, but it needs to ship out. You should have it within two business days, unless you want it sent via email instead.”

Caller: “No, regular mail! Don’t argue with me! I’m not doing this for me! I’m doing it for you!”

(This goes back and forth for a couple of minutes, but eventually she hangs up without speaking to a supervisor, though she still demands that the previous agent be fired.)

Coworker: “I bet she’ll call back wanting ME to be fired for not teleporting her user manual to her.”

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