Read You Loud And Unclear

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(One of my coworkers is a quiet, well-spoken man normally, but has an astonishingly loud voice if he wants to shout. My manager is also the shop owner, has a great sense of humor, and likes to let him use that voice in situations.)

Customer: “A carton of [Brand] cigarettes, please.”

Coworker: “Yes, sir. What kind?”

Customer: “[Brand].”

Coworker: “Yes, sir. Twenties, thirties, mild menthol, filtered or plain?”

Customer: “[BRAND]!”

Coworker: *just as loud* “Yes, sir. Twenties, thirties, mild menthol, filtered or plain?”

Customer: *as loud as he can shout* “[BRAND]!”

Coworker: *louder than the customer; painful to the ears* “YES, SIR! TWENTIES, THIRTIES, MILD, MENTHOL, FILTERED OR PLAIN?!”

(The customer turns pale, and takes a step back.)

Customer: *normal voice* “Er, um, sorry. What?”

Coworker: *normal voice*  “Twenties, thirties, mild menthol, filtered or plain?”

Customer: “Oh. Twenties, filtered, plain. Thanks.”

(The customer paid, and then left, turning back, looking, and shaking his head in disbelief.)

Fire Sale Fail

, | Stettler, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(We have a small electrical fire at our fast food restaurant. My fellow coworkers and I have just checked the building to make sure all the customers are out. Most of my coworkers have inhaled smoke and are being checked out by EMTs. I’m standing near the doors to keep customers out.)

Customer: “I ordered $40 worth of food. Why are you standing outside?”

Me: “I’m sorry, Ma’am, we’ve had a small electrical fire…”

(The building is clearly filled with smoke, visible through the windows that surround the restaurant.)

Customer: “Well, is my chicken ready? Someone can just go get it. I’ve already paid.”

Me: “You want someone to go into a burning building in order to get your chicken?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(Before I could respond my supervisor comes back from being checked out.)

Supervisor: “Ma’am, even if someone did get your chicken, it wouldn’t be safe to eat. It was in the warming tray right below where the smoke came pouring out of the roof.”

Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! I’M A PAYING CUSTOMER AND I WANT MY CHICKEN!”

(I walk away and leave my supervisor to deal with the customer. Shortly after I see the supervisor run back in the building and come out with the customers refund. The customer rips the money out of her hand and storms off, nearly hitting an employee in the parking lot with her car.)

Supervisor: “I just refunded her $60 and told her she could have fresh chicken in the morning.”

Me: “Just so you know, she ripped you off. Her order only came to $42.50.”

Supervisor: “S***.”

(Thankfully, the damage was mostly in the electrical work and the restaurant was opened the next morning.)

Now You’re Talking

| Allentown, PA, USA | Bizarre

(I am alone in my store when a customer comes in. Because of where I am located, I can’t get to within her line of sight immediately, but it’s not a very big store so she can hear me.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

Customer: “I’m well, thanks, and you?”

Me: “Fine, thank you!”

(I continue talking as I walk. I am now two feet away from her and wearing a nametag.)

Me: “Has it been a while since were here?”

Customer: “Oh. Um. I guess it has?”

Me: “Okay, welcome back!”

(She gives me a puzzled look.)

Customer: “Do you, um, work here or something?

Me: *baffled* “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “Oh, I thought you were another customer. I wondered why you were so chatty!”

Pajama Drama, Part 2

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I work in the lingerie section of a very well-known department store when a male customer walks in.)

Me: “Hi there. What were you looking for today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for some sexy bras and underwear for my girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay, did you know her bra size?”

Customer: “Um… no.”

Me: “Well… sexy pajamas it is, then!”

Related:
Pajama Drama

Our Great DiscrimiNation, Part 3

| Panama Beach, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Religion

(I’m currently stocking food in the aisle, stacking some ramen noodles on the cart. I’m a born American of Islamic parents. I’m also Catholic. A customer approaches me with a security guard.)

Customer: “See! He’s putting up square packages. They’re bombs! He’s going to blow up this store and kill us all to appease Muhammad!”

(The guard looks at her like she’s an idiot.)

Guard: “Ma’am, I hardly think that just because he’s doing his job he’s goin—”

Customer: “No, his kind are all evil! The Lord is my shepherd and his is false!”

(I’ve been trying to ignore her but finally get fed up. I stand up and walk over towards her, crossing my arms.)

Me: “Being born of an Islamic family does not make me a member of the Islamic faith nor any more likely to inflict violence than anyone else with a proper upbringing. Furthermore, I’m Catholic so your bigoted claims that I’m doing something malicious in the process of doing my job are completely irrelevant and unfounded. Furthermore, by trying to use your religion as a cover for your irrational hatred of those who are different on you, I have no doubts that the Holiest is looking down on you right now with sorrow and contempt, and preparing you a special place in Hell for using his word to justify your hatred.”

(The customer tries to sputter out a response but it’s clear she can’t find the words. I watch as her face turns red like she’s about to throw a tantrum, but she just stomps off instead, leaving me and the security guard standing there. I’m calming down and realize I shouted pretty much all of that, and there are people staring at me.)

Me: “Well, that came out of nowhere.”

Guard: “Dude, that was awesome! You shut her down cold.”

(The customers who had walked over to see the commotion applauded me and defended me when my manager came to write me up for telling off a customer. I found out the next week that the woman had to be arrested after she made similar racist and untrue claims about a Japanese exchange student that was working in the deli, and threatened violence on him.)

Related:
Our Great DiscrimiNation, Part 2
Our Great DiscrimiNation

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