Taking The Man Out Of Spiderman

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I work as a receptionist for my dad’s chiropractic office. Most of the patients are lovely, but we do have some odd ones. One patient in particular is a little bit sexist, but because he’s never intends to be outright rude, I just try to ignore his somewhat sexist comments. Today when he comes in he tries to play a little joke on me.)

Patient: *comes up to the desk and starts pointing at a random spot on it* “There’s a spider! Get it! Get it!”

(I casually look around, as I have had spiders sneak their way to my desk before, but I don’t see anything.)

Me: “Where is it? I don’t see it.”

Patient: *gives a bit of an odd look* “Right there! Get it!”

Me: *look again but still doesn’t see anything* “I still don’t see it. I guess it got away.” *shrugs*

Patient: *gives me another weird look* “Why aren’t you freaking out?”

Me: “Spiders don’t really bug me.”

Patient: “Oh… should I have said it was a snake?”

Me: “They don’t bug me either. I actually like snakes.”

Patient: *looks baffled* “What kind of woman are you?!”

Getting A Call From The Idiot Factory

| USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “So what’s in this supplement? I don’t want the product label; tell me what it’s MADE OF.”

Me: *after five minutes of searching and her complaining how long it was taking* “It’s made from chicken cartilage. Is that what you were wondering?”

Customer: “Oh, I knew that. I just wanted to know if you knew.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “So, where are your factory locations? Do you work there? You better work there if you’re selling me these products.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t work in the factory. I take phone call orders. We don’t release our manufacturing locations.”

Customer: “Well, what kind of shady company are you?!” *hangs up*

Running Out Of Consideration

| Marengo, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work at an ice cream and grill. It’s small so it usually doesn’t take long to close up. It’s 8:59 and I’m just about to lock the door when a customer runs in.)

Me: “You know we close in 20 seconds, right?”

Customer: “I know; that’s why I ran! I’d like [several meals].”

Not Going To Put The Matter To Bed

| NS, Canada | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(It is the day before Mother’s Day. A little boy, around seven or eight years old, comes up with his dad to buy a cake and a card.)

Me: *to the boy* “So, are you going to make breakfast in bed for your mom tomorrow?”

Boy: *in awe, with wide eyes* “How did you know I was gonna do that?”

Me: “I’m psychic!”

(At this point the dad has just finished paying, and as they are walking away I hear this:)

Boy: *to his dad, still in awe* “But, Dad! How did she know I was gonna do that?”

Going Gaga For Shoes

, | ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(A young woman comes bursting into the store, flustered. She runs around all the aisles, frantically, at least three times. I watch her and go to walk over to help her, but she beats me to it and runs straight up to me, panting, sweating, red-faced, and a look of stress in her face.)


Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t even know where you could even buy Lady Gaga’s shoes to start with. We don’t sell them here though…”


(She then bolted out the door, as if she was running from a pack of lions. The other customers and I just stood there for a moment to take in what just happened.)

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