Self-Expression Lane

| New Braunfels, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

(At my store, we try to send out baggers with customers who have the electric carts so they can bring them back inside and keep them charged. We don’t keep baggers on our express ’10-items-or-less’ lanes, so I call down to another register to have a bagger help out the customer I’ve just checked out.)

Me: “Alright, ma’am, someone will be down in just a moment to help you outside. Have a good rest of your day!”

Customer: “Thank you!”

(The customer scoots up a little bit, but not completely out of the line. I begin ringing up customer behind her while the bagger makes her way over to my end of checkout. A customer in my line starts yelling.)

Yelling Customer: “Lady, you need to move!”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Yelling Customer: “Get out of the way; you’re holding everyone up! You’re not the only person in this store you know!”

(The bagger arrives about this time, and she and the elderly customer proceed outside. I continue checking out people and eventually reach the man who was yelling at the woman. He proceeds to unload his cart and clearly has way more than 10 items.)

Yelling Customer: “Wow, some people are just so inconsiderate. They act like they’re the only people on Earth. They just don’t care!”

Me: “You’re very right. I find there are many folks who are unable to count to 10 as well.”

Yelling Customer: *shuts up*

You’d Bella Believe It, Part 2

| Bozeman, MT, USA | Bigotry, Books & Reading

(A guest has been making snide comments about everything from the biscuits and gravy at breakfast to the TV channel that was on in the breakfast room. He has also been calling me (a 31-year-old woman) ‘sweetie,’ ‘honey’ and ‘darling’ mockingly for about 20 minutes. He sees my Kindle out on the desk and, of course, has to comment.)

Guest: “So honey, what are you reading? Twilight?” *laughs*

Me: *putting so much sugar in my voice I want to gag* “No, actually it’s a book by a nationally known but still local author called Monster Of God. It examines the cultural, ecological and economic impacts of alpha predators in areas that allow them to come in to contact and conflict with humans.” *sweet smile*

Guest: “Oh… okay. Have a nice day.”

Related:
You’d Bella Believe It

Taking Shots At Her Kids

| Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(My store serves a variety of health-drinks. Some of these are concentrated and fairly potent, so we serve them in the form of a ‘shot,’ although they don’t contain any alcohol. A customer comes in with two rowdy young children and orders one of our shots. Her kids are running around and shouting in the background.)

Customer: “I’m taking them back-to-school shopping today, and—STOP FIGHTING, JUST STOP—sorry.”

Coworker: “Here’s your shot ma’am!”

Customer: “Alright kids. Mommy’s going to take her shot now! At 10:30 in the morning! What am I doing with my life? At least it’s just wheatgrass…”

You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number – The Comic!

Not Always Right | Comics, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

Being Extra Extra Extra Polite

, | Palmerston North, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I’m working the drive thru.)

Me: “Hi there, please place your order when you’re ready, thanks.”

Customer: “Hi, could I get a [popular burger combo] with extra extra extra mayo, please?”

Me: “Sure, that was [burger] with add mayo?”

Customer: “Can you add more than that?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Sure, I’ll add extra extra mayo. That’s [total], drive on up.”

(When the customer gets to the window, I pack up her order, and laugh. They’d written ‘+mayo +mayo +mayo’ all over the burger wrap.)

Me: “Here you go, miss, with extra extra extra mayo.”

Customer: “Thank you!” *opens up the bag, and laughs* “Or, should I say, thank you, thank you, thank you?”