This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(As an employee at the store I work at, it is part of my job to ask our customers if they’d like to apply for a store credit card. A customer in her twenties comes through my line.)

Me: “Would you like to save [percent] by applying for a [Store] charge card?”

Customer: “Sure!”

(The applications go through our computer and the customer is immediately approved and a paper prints out with the credit limit and card number.)

Me: “Okay, it looks like you were approved today! You should get your [Store] card in the mail within the next two weeks. If you would like to put your purchase on your card today, it would save you another [percent]. Would you like to put it on the card? You can even pay it off in the store after we’re done.”

Customer: “Sure.”

(We put the purchase on the card and everything goes smoothly until the end.)

Me: “Okay, and would you like to pay your card off today or would you like to wait until you get your statement in the mail?”

Customer: “What? I have to pay for it twice?”

Me: “No, you haven’t actually paid for it yet. You put it on the store charge card.”

Customer: “Yeah, so why do I have to pay for it again?”

Me: “The store charge card is just like any other credit card. It has to be paid for after you use it.”

Customer: “What’s a credit card?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32

An Epidemic Of Stupidity

, | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Holidays

(I work for a company that sells emergency preparedness gear, including gas masks, chemical suits, and other disaster response equipment. Any time there’s a disaster or terrorist attack, our sales go through the roof by ‘preppers’ and other panicking individuals. Recently, there’s been an Ebola epidemic with the first cases occurring in the United States; thousands of orders have been coming in and those who ordered entire sets of equipment are backlogged at least a month.)

Customer: “I’m checking on an order. I was charged but haven’t seen any shipping info yet. I placed it 7-10 days ago.”

Me: “And did you order any gas masks or full sets of equipment?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. I ordered a suit. For Halloween.”

Me: *thinking such a small order should have been finished, I pull up his information* “Sir, you didn’t order just a suit, you ordered an entire protective kit… mask, filter, suit, gloves, boots, etc.”

Customer: “That’s it!”

Me: “Sir, there’s a minimum one month delay on protective gear right now due to high order volume.”

Customer: “So, you mean I won’t have it for Halloween?”

Me: “No, sir. There is a panic epidemic going on and you were one of thousands who’ve been ordering these products.”

Customer: “Wow. I had no idea. So there’s no way I’m going to get a protective suit by Halloween?”

Me: “Sir, the entire industry is wiped clean. GLOBALLY. It will take them months to get back up to speed.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you should really let people know when there’s an epidemic going on, so we know there’ll be delays.”

Dishrag For The Hag

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m currently working in a hotel helping out at our breakfast bar as the assistant to the usual hostess. She would usually work alone but since we sold out she asked me to come in and help attend to the guests’ needs. I’m cleaning a table when I glance around and see a woman with a rather irritated look on her face…)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. Is everything to your liking this morning?”

Guest: “NO! The carpet in the halls smell horrible, the rooms are overpriced and small, the gym for your place is across the road, and you let pets stay here. This hotel is the worst I ever stayed at.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. We always try our best to please our guests and provide a clean facility. We apologize about the workout center being across the road but we didn’t have room to build it into the hotel at our last renovation.”

(While saying all this I was thinking if she can’t even cross a road she probably isn’t much of a fitness person.)

Me:  “Is there anything I can get for you from our breakfast bar? I might be able to place a special order if you would like.”

Guest: “Nothing you have to offer can make up for a crappy place like this. As soon as my husband is finished we’re leaving.”

Me: *trying to act politely interested* “Okay. Well. I hope you enjoy your trip today, Where are you two heading? Do you need any direc—”

Guest: “Don’t! Just. Stop. Talking. I hate talking to everyone in the morning and you’re only annoying me.”

Me: *at this point I want to throw my dishrag at her but merely smile* “Okay. Let me know if you do need something.”

(A moment later, as I continue cleaning another table, another guest comes up to sit at the recently cleaned seat.)

Other Guest: “I have no clue what she was talking about because this place is the best stop we made our whole trip. This town is great and the customer service is excellent here. I don’t know how you kept your cool with her; I would have choked her with that dishrag.”

(I’m laughing inside since I wasn’t the only one to think this. After a while I tell my coworker what happened and she goes to talk to the husband while the wife is away. She comes back to assure me that everything is fine with a suppressed smile on her face.)

Coworker: “I asked if he needed anything and he replied ‘a new wife! She’s driving me crazy this trip and has complained everywhere we went!'”

(I wanted to offer him my dishrag for the road.)