Hotly Disputed

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Good morning, [Regular]. I was just about to make some fresh coffee, since this pot is almost 45 minutes old. Did you want some of this or would you like to wait for the fresh pot.”

Regular: “The fresh pot; I want the hot, fresh stuff.”

(I bring her a hot, fresh cup six minutes later, right after it finished brewing.)

Regular: “Can you get me some ice cubes for this? I don’t know why you guys have to brew it so hot. I practically gotta let it sit for half an hour before I can touch it…”

A Very Crisp Line

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work the opening shift at a fast food restaurant that’s well-known for their chicken. We have an elderly, regular customer who is originally from the New England area, as made obvious by both her accent and attitude. Every week, she has a new complaint. These are some of my favorites.)

Me: “Good morning, [Regular]! What can I get for you today?”

Regular: “I wanna get a number three with the bacon EXTRA crispy. Last week, you guys didn’t make it extra crispy like I like it!”

Me: “Sorry about that. I’ll make sure it gets made correctly this time.”

(The next week:)

Me: “Good morning, [Regular], having the usual today?”

Regular: “Yeah, but make sure the bacon isn’t too crispy. You guys made it WAAAY to crispy last time.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize they had burnt it!”

Regular: “It wasn’t burnt, just too crispy. I want it extra crispy, but not TOO crispy.”

Music With A Beautiful Ending

| NM, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Musical Mayhem

(I’m a teenage girl and interning at the local music store my dad works at. As he is also a musician, he has many instruments (guitars, basses, drums, etc.) that he will occasionally leave in his car overnight. The night before this happens a guitar was stolen from his car. My dad describes it, and tells me to be on the lookout for it. As luck would have it, the thief brings it in to try to sell.)

Thief: “I was wondering how much I could get for this guitar.”

(I recognize the guitar.)

Me: “Of course. Let me just look it up.”

Thief: “Just hurry up. I’m really busy.”

Me: “I’m having some trouble finding it. Let me just grab my dad. He knows more about this stuff.”

(After I explain everything to him, my dad leads me back to the register.)

Dad: “Sorry about that, sir. What did you want to do with this guitar?”

Thief: “I wanted to know how much I could get for it.”

Dad: *pretending to look something up* “Funny thing, that guitar is coming up as stolen.”

Thief: *goes white* “That’s insane, my best friend gave this to me last night!”

Dad: “Well, he can’t be a very good friend if you’re already trying to sell it.”

Thief: “You’re crazy, man. I just want to sell this guitar.”

Dad: “[My Name], go in the back and call the cops, would you?”

(Before I could do anything the thief abandoned everything and ran out the door. My dad’s coworker called the cops, and they picked up the thief a few blocks away. The best part was that my dad got his fairly expensive guitar back!)