Asking Until You’re Winter Blue In The Face

| Green Bay, WI, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s a cold, snowy day in December. I’m in a store looking through the remnant bin looking for some fabric for Christmas gifts I’m making. A customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Where can I find [item]?”

Me: “Sorry, but I don’t know.” *I go back to looking through the bin*

Customer: “Aren’t you going to help me?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t know where it is. Why don’t you ask one of the people who work here? They’re wearing red smocks.”

Customer: “Don’t YOU work here?”

Me: *looking at my blue winter coat* “Um, no…”

Customer: “You are so rude!” *stalks off*

Being Mis-LED

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Customer: *to small child* “No, honey, get away from those. They have lead in them.”

Me: “Ma’am. They are Christmas lights. They are LED Christmas lights.”

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 3

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Liars & Scammers

Customer: “I want to return this book.”

Me: “Okay, do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Our return policy is 14 days with a receipt, so since this is outside of that, I need to call over a manager. If you don’t mind, it will be just a moment.”

Customer: “I don’t care about your policy; just give me my money back.”

Me: “Ma’am, the manager is the only one who can make that call. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I’m double parked outside.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, but there’s nothing I can do.”

(The manager comes over. It’s only been about a minute since the customer walked up to me.)

Customer: “God, finally! I need my money back, and I’m double parked outside, so make it quick!”

Manager: “Well, our usual policy is 14 days with a receipt, but we can occasionally make exceptions—”

Customer: “I just read it yesterday!”

Manager: “Wait, you read the whole book?”

Customer: “Yes, and I hated it! That’s why I’m returning it!”

Manager: “Ma’am, that’s not really how a bookstore works. If everyone just returned books after they were done reading them, we would be a library.”

Customer: “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Manager: “Well—”

Customer: “—GOD, FINE! Here’s a receipt if you people need it so badly!”

(Customer throws a crumpled, faded receipt at the manager. She catches it and looks at it, shocked.)

Manager: “Ma’am, this receipt is from [Competitor], who went out of business three years ago.”

Customer: “So?”

Manager: “So it’s not even from our store. I can’t give you your money back.”

Customer: *looking out the window, noticing her car is getting a ticket* “Oh my god, I hate this store! I’m never shopping here again!”

Manager: “You never shopped here in the first place!”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 2
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer