Quite A Climb To Get To The Answer

| Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a climbing gym. We were closed for a week to do yearly renovations.)

Customer: *walks up, pulls on locked door*

Customer: *looks inside, sees climbing walls being painted*

Customer: *looks at sign on door, which explains reason for closure*

Customer: *looks inside again*

Customer: *pulls out cell phone, calls our landline*

Customer: “Hey, are you guys open?”

The Movie Tale Is In The (Lack Of) Telling

| Israel | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I am a temp for a large mobile services provider, in a call center dedicated to the provider’s loyalty program. Every summer they would give out free books, movie tickets, etc. on particular dates for all paying customers. The caller in this call was around 40 years old.)

Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [Provider]’s loyalty program. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “I want the free movie.”

Me: “I’m sorry, Madam, but the free movie offer ended last week. We have a free book offer this week—”

Caller: “No, I don’t want any books. I just want the free movie you promised.”

Me: “Again, Madam, I’m sorry, but that offer is now over.”

Caller: “But I didn’t know about it on time!”

Me: “Well, Madam, that’s unfortunate, but you’re welcome to take advantage of the offers we still have—”

Caller: “No. You will give me a free movie! Make an exception! Talk to your manager!”

Me: “Madam, we cannot make an exception. The company signed a contract with [Cinema Chain] for a specific period. Now that the period is done, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Caller: “But you should have told me! No one told me so it’s your fault and I want the free movie!”

Me: “Madam, we had ads on billboards in several major streets in your city—”

Caller: “I don’t go out much.”

Me: “We also had ads in every major newspaper—”

Caller: “I don’t read any newspapers.”

Me: “And several major radio stations—”

Caller: “I don’t listen to the radio.”

Me: “And there was a colourful ad in your monthly bill—”

Caller: “I always disregard those.”

Me: “And a whole ton of ads on our website and major news websites—”

Caller: “I don’t use the Internet.”

Me: “And every single client of [Provider] got a text message about it.”

Caller: “Oh, those I never read.”

Me: “Then how, Madam, did you expect us to inform you of this offer, if you disregard every single publicity method we use?”

Caller: *reproachfully* “Well, I’d expect you to call me!”

Staring At The Sign For Hours

| VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I had recently moved my store to a new location and had not yet advertised the new phone number, when a customer calls with a question.)

Caller: “Hi, I just wanted to know what times you’re open.”

Me: “Certainly.”

(As I tell him which days I’m open and the hours, naturally, I’m curious as to how he got my phone number and ask him about this.)

Caller: “Oh, I was looking through the window and wrote down the number from the sign on the front door.”

Me: “You mean at the bottom of the sign listing my business hours?”

Smoking Before She Even Gets Cigarettes

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

(I am cashiering without a bagger at the farthest register from the front service center.)

Me: “How are you doing today, ma’am?”

Customer: “You need to go get me a pack of d*** cigarettes.” *continues texting*

Me: “I’m not allowed to leave my register and don’t have a bagger to run and get some. How about you go grab them while I finish ringing up/bagging the rest of your items?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I said, please go grab them while I finish your order. I can’t leave now.”

Customer: “Did you seriously just say I… should go get them MYSELF?!”

Me: “Yes, I did…”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD! You can’t be serious! If you think I should go get them, then you are crazy!”

(She then grabs a bagger who is obviously helping out another customer.)

Customer: “You need to go get me my cigarettes now before I FLIP OUT!”

Bagger: “…okay.”

Customer: “And I am telling your manager about how rude you are!”

I Am Just A Number

| Bergen, Norway | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Top

(I am out shopping with my 10-year-old sister. I am 23. Another customer, a woman in her 60s, approaches my sister as she is standing by herself for a moment.)

Customer: “Are you the manager here?”

Sister: “No…”

Customer: “What are you, then?”

Sister: “I’m 10…”

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