Not Playing Games With The Game

| Denmark | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in returns and customer service for a large electronics retailer in Denmark. A customer enters with a desktop PC, and I can tell, before he even opens his mouth, that he is going to be trouble:)

Customer: “I bought this gaming PC and it’s supposed to be the shit and hardcore and everything, but I installed a game and it’s lagging and I want a new computer.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a problem; but let me just see if I can’t figure out what the problem is.”

(I take the PC out back and hook it up. Once it booted, I noticed a single game icon on the desktop. I started the game and sure enough, it was sluggish and unstable. Going on a hunch, I looked at which programs are running and found exactly what I was looking for. I pack up the computer and go back to the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m unable to help you with your problem, as the game is a pirated version.”

Customer: “What? This is total bull-s***. I bought this game yesterday from this store and it runs like s***.”

Me: “First of all, this game is three years old and not currently available in our store. And secondly, I can see from your µTorrent download list, that you are currently seeding the game, which is illegal. I cannot help you any further.”

(The customer hits the roof and starts ranting:)

Customer: “What? You won’t help me? What am I supposed to do with this piece of s*** computer now? It doesn’t work! Fix it.”

Me: “As I explained, I cannot help you with issues pertaining to pirated software. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to figure this out on your own.”

Customer: “I’ll just go buy an extended warranty and then smash the computer in the parking lot. You’ll have to give me a new one.”

(I try explaining to him that such abuse won’t be covered by the warranty, but he won’t listen. So while he walks inside the store carrying his PC, I calmly add a note to his receipt:)

Note: “This customer expressed intent to purchase an extended warranty for his PC and then deliberately smash the item, in order to get a refund.”

(10 minutes later I see the customer kicking his PC across the parking lot. I immediately look up recent receipts in the system and find a note on his extended warranty:)

Note: “This customer has been advised that smashing his PC intentionally will void the extended warranty, but he was adamant. We sold him the warranty, but can’t wait to refuse his claim.

(And yes, the security camera caught his little parking lot tirade.)

Snacking On A Bad Attitude

, | York, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work in a busy branch of a fast food place. When customers order burgers, it’s store policy to ask if they would like it as part of a deal, which is cheaper than if the food in the meal was purchased separately.)

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get you?”

Customer: *giving me a somewhat disdainful look* “I want a [Burger] with fries and a large [Soda].”

Me: “Would you like that as part of a meal or are you buying them separately?”

Customer: *visibly annoyed, and still glaring at me* “No, I’m having them as a snack.”

(I laugh politely, thinking that he was trying to be funny.)

Me: *smiling on the outside, dying on the inside* “Is that a large meal or are you buying them separately?”

Customer: “I already told you, I’m having them as a snack.”

(I look at my supervisor like a deer in headlights. She takes over.)

Supervisor: “Sir, are you having your order as a meal or are you buying each item separately?”

Customer: *growing quite rude and ill-tempered now* “I’ve already told him that I want them as a snack. Doesn’t he understand simple instructions?”

(My supervisor is quite protective of her trainees. I know that the look in her eyes means she wants blood, but she remains calm and collected.)

Supervisor: *trying to remain polite* “We don’t sell meals as “snacks,” sir. Are you buying it for yourself or—”

Customer: *almost shouting* “Of course I am. Now get me my large [Burger] with fries and a [Soda]!”

Supervisor: *faces me and tells me to get his food prepared* “I’m ringing that up as a meal deal, sir. That’ll be £5.45, please.”

(Customer begrudgingly slams a £10 note on the counter and gives me a scathing glare as I hand him his food in a bag and he leaves the store in a huff. My supervisor realises something.)

Supervisor: “Did he want his meal to-go?”

Me: “No clue. But I did.”

Toiling In The Toilet

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name]. Whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with tonight?”

Customer: “Listen, this is going to be an odd request, but I need you to bring me some toilet paper.”

Me: *already knowing this is a prank call* “I wish I could, sir.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t you?”

Me: “Because I’m not at your house, sir.”

Customer: “No, see, I’m not at my house. I’m in the back.”

Me: “In the back… of one of our stores?”

Customer: “Yes. And there’s no toilet paper back here, so I need you to bring me some.”

Me: “Okay, sir. And which store are you located at?”

Customer: *sighs* “Listen… why are you playing games with me?”

Me: “I’m not, sir. I’m simply asking because the store you are in may not be located in the same place, or the same state, that I’m in.”

Customer: *long pause* “F*** it, I’m just going to use my hand.”  *click*