Putting The Brakes On This Conversation

| USA | Family & Kids, Transportation

(It’s a snowy Saturday morning. I am waiting in line, directly behind a young woman and her little boy, who looks to be about six years old. The cashier is being friendly with him, and he is telling her all about the toy that was just purchased for him. His mother tells him it’s time to go, and then:)

Cashier: “Have a great day and drive safely!”

Mom: “Have a nice day.”

Boy: “We WILL drive safely.” *pause* “Unless Mom goes like ‘aaaahh!’” *mimes looking shocked and stepping on the brakes*

Mom: “[Boy]!” *hastily rushes him out of the store as I snicker*

Been Called All The Names In The Hundred-Acre Wood

| Jackson, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I have have been called just about every name in the book. I am refusing to sell beer to a customer who is too drunk.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you’re just too intoxicated and I can’t let you have it.”

Drunk: “I’m not driving so what the f*** is your problem, fat-a**!”

Me: “I’m sorry; can’t do it.”

Drunk: “Come on, man. I won’t tell.”

Me: *being very nice as it does really bug them when I don’t get mad* “Sorry, guy, still can’t sell.”

Drunk: *getting REALLY UPSET* “You know what you are? You’re a Pooh butt! You’re a Winnie the Pooh butt!”

(I’ve heard everything but not that, so I started laughing really hard which got him more and more upset. I told him that was the funniest thing I had ever been called and he got REALLY mad and just walked out.)

1 Thumbs
1,610
VOTES

Need To Go Quebec And Get Her

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Hotels & Lodging

(It is 7:15 am when the phone rings.)

Me: “Front desk?”

(A female guest in her 40s with a British accent answers:)

Guest: “I need to make a local call. How much do you charge?”

Me: “Local calls are free!”

Guest: “Great! How do I make a local call?”

Me: “Dial eight, and then the number you need.”

Guest: “The number starts with 649. Is that what all local numbers start with?”

Me: “Um, the number should start with either 438 or 514 for most local numbers.”

Guest: “Well, I need to call my mother at the Best Western… Oh wait, here is says 1-418-649—”

Me: “Uh, 418 is to call Quebec City and the surrounding area. Are you sure you have the right hotel?”

Guest: “Yes… Best Western City Centre, on Rue de la Courone.”

Me: “That is in Quebec City. Quebec City will be a long distance phone call, so there will be a charge of 0.75$/min.”

Guest: “Wait, WHAT?! I THOUGHT WE WERE IN QUEBEC CITY! WHERE ARE WE? DID THEY SEND HER TO A DIFFERENT STATE OR SOMETHING?”

Me: “You are in Montreal. Quebec City is still in the same province, but it is about 2.5 hours away…”

Guest: “MY MOTHER IS 2.5 HOURS AWAY?! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY–”  *click*

1 Thumbs
1,414
VOTES

Yesterday, All My Charities Were Far Away

| Pinellas County, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

(The theater company I work for does a charity promotion every summer where we ask customers to donate a dollar or their spare change. Every year, this exact occurrence never fails to happen multiple times on the first day of the promotion:)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Theater]!”

Customer: “Yes, can I get three tickets for [Movie]?”

Me: “Sure! Would you like to donate $1, or even your spare change, to [Charity]?”

Customer: “What? No, I did that yesterday!”

Me: *palmface*

Only A Hundredth Of The Intelligence

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Math & Science

(Our shop prints a lot of the sizes on products in cm when a lot of older customers are more familiar with inches.)

Customer: “Hi, I need help with these curtain sizes, please!”

Me: “What’s the matter?”

Customer: “It says here the length is 228 cm, but I’m not sure what that means.”

Me: “Okay, well 228 cm is roughly—”

Customer: “Because I need a 2.28 m length curtain!”

Me: “…”

Page 906/3,161First...904905906907908...Last