Not So Closed Minded, Part 7

| VA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(About half an hour before we close, we get a sudden rush of customers, leading to us being unable to lock the doors once it’s time to close. Five minutes after closing, we only have one family left in the store to finish serving when another man walks in.)

Supervisor: “Sir, I’m sorry. We’re closed.”

Customer: *continues toward register*

Supervisor: “Sir, we’re closing!”

Customer: *stops to look at chips*

Supervisor: “Sir! I’m sorry, but we’re in the process of closing.”

Customer: *walks to register*

Supervisor: *now standing directly in front of customer* “Sir, I’m sorry. We’re not taking orders now. We’re closed.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Um… I’ll take a large ham and turkey—”

Supervisor: “Sir! I’m sorry, but we closed five minutes ago. You’ll need to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you should have said something.” *walks out*

(As soon as the previous customer’s food was ready and they were out, I ran at full sprint to the door and locked it.)

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

She Passed With Flying Colors

| NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

(I organize events for special needs children and their families. I also work as a female clown. A little girl has approached my table.)

Me: “Well, hi there! Would you like to get your face painted today?”

Girl: “Yes! I want [Popular Children’s Character]!”

(She takes a seat, and as I get my supplies I notice she is staring at my head. I am bald due to a medical condition, so I wear nice-quality wigs which, despite their artificial colors, are often mistaken as real hair. Today I’m wearing bright pink.)

Me: “All righty, then! [Children’s Character] it is. My name is [My Clown Name]; what’s your name?”

Girl: “[Girl].” *pauses as I ready the paints* “How is your hair pink? Is it REALLY pink or fake? I don’t think hair can actually be like that.”

(Her mother begins to speak up, but I wink at her.)

Me: “Well, I have special hair! I can make it any color I want. Today it’s pink, but tomorrow it might not be.”

Girl: “Wow! Is that magic?”

Me: “Yup, it’s kind of like magic!”

(I proceed to paint her face, fielding several questions about my ‘powers’ to the amusement of the mother. Later the mother explains that due to her rabid love of this popular ‘magical’ franchise, other kids have begun to make her doubt the existence of magic. Weeks later, I am hosting a Halloween event when I spot the same little girl, dressed as one of the franchise characters.)

Me: “Hi, [Girl]! I like your costume.”

Girl: “Thanks! It’s my favorite—”

(She stops abruptly and her eyes go wide. Sure enough, I am wearing a curly purple wig. Her mother grins.)

Girl: “Whoooooaaaaaa.” *to her mother* “Mommy, look!”

Mother: “See? I told you it was real magic!”

(As if on cue, my coworker comes out from behind a trick-or-treat door, dressed as [Main Franchise Character] and signing another child’s autograph. The girl looks starstruck.)

Girl: “Oh. My. GOSH.”

Mother: *laughing* “Aaaaaaaand that’s just made our Halloween.”

(It made mine, too!)

The Emperors New Clothes

, | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

(I am the manager. I am only a few years older than the student who is working at the window, but today I decide to dress in more ‘manager-like clothes’ than my usual jeans and oversized t-shirt, while the student (who is on his third shift) is wearing gym clothes. A fancy-looking couple come to the window.)

Student: “How can I help you today?”

Woman: “We want tickets to all the dance performances this season, and we’d like to sit in the mezzanine. That’s the only place you can REALLY see the dancing.”

(We have had tickets on sale for several months, so all of the mezzanine is sold, as are most of the best seats.)

Student: “I’m afraid those seats are unavailable, but I can show you on this chart what we do have?”

Man: *leaning toward the window* “I don’t think you understand. We want to be able to SEE the dancing. Do you understand?”

Woman: “What do you have in these rows? This row should have a very good vantage point for us to really see the dancers.” *she points to rows that are no longer available*

Student: “I’m afraid those seats are sold, but these ones I’m showing you will have an excellent view, I can assure you…”

(The couple are beginning to get frustrated, and the student worker is not able to get a word in. I decide to go to the window.)

Me: “Hi, I’m one of the managers. Can I help you?”

Woman: “He won’t sell us mezzanine seats! How are we supposed to see the dancers?”

Me: *toward the computer screen and pretending to scrutinize* “Oh, yes, I see the problem. If it were me, I would want these seats.”

(I point to the exact same seats the student has picked, just on the House Left instead of House Right.)

Me: “That way, you’ll get a full empty aisle view and fewer heads in the way. Plenty of room to see the dancers!”

Woman: “Thank you!”

(They ordered “those seats the lady said were good” for the rest of the dance shows. I told the student later that he could have me do that same thing any time as long as he checked that I was wearing nice clothes!)