Wrongly Accused

| London, England, UK | Right | September 29, 2015

Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me find something?”

Me: “Of course, what were you looking for?”

Customer: “I need that leather jacket in the window.”

Me: “Yes, we have them just over here. What size were you after?”

Customer: “No! Not that one! This is black! I need the other one!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we only have one leather jacket in the window. What colour was the one you wanted?”

Customer: “I want the tan one! Honestly, how do you not know what is in your own window?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t actually have a tan leather jacket in store right now.”

Customer: “Oh, this is ridiculous. Come, look at your own damn window and pay a little attention for once!”

(The customer physically takes me by the wrist and leads me outside, past a baffled looking colleague working at the front door!)

Customer: “There! That’s the god-d*** jacket I want. Can you get it for me or find someone in the store who knows what they’re doing?!”

Me: “…Sir, this isn’t our window. This is [Store Next Door]’s window. They’ll be able to help you find the right size.”

Customer: “You should have told me I was in the wrong store in the first place!”

A-Salt-ed By Stupidity

GA, USA | Right | September 29, 2015

(I manage a large fast food chain that uses sea salt on their French fries. A customer orders her fries with no salt.)

Me: *handing her order to her* “Here’s your order. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “There’s no salt on these fries, right? I hope so. I’m allergic to salt!”

Me: *staring blankly* “Ma’am, do you want me to remake your burger then? We salt the patties. In fact, there is salt on everything that goes on your sandwich.”

Customer: “No. I’m only allergic to sea salt.”

Me: “You do realize that they’re both just sodium chloride, right? In fact, table salt has iodine added and is usually bleached, so if you had an allergy it would be more apt to be…”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t have! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” *grabs ketchup packets and storms out*

Me: *I grab a ketchup pack and begin reading packet ingredients to a coworker* “…tomato paste… corn syrup… sea salt… Huh, would you look at that. They put sea salt in the ketchup.”

Coworker: “Yeah, do you know what the clinical term is for someone who is allergic to salt?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Coworker: “Dead.”

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Expects To Be Spoon-Fed

| Myrtle Beach, SC, USA | Right | September 29, 2015

(I’m a cashier at an ice cream/frozen yogurt franchise.)

Customer: “Can I get a small bowl of vanilla soft serve with cookie dough topping, and can you, like… mix it in?”

Me: “I can… give you a spoon!”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 6

, | San Antonio, TX, USA | Right | September 29, 2015

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a combo number three, please.”

Me: “Okay, what size would you like that combo?”

Customer: “No tomatoes! I’m extremely allergic to tomatoes!”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. I’ll personally ensure there are no tomatoes on your sandwich. Now, what size did you want your combo?”

Customer: “Eh, medium, I guess. Oh! Can I get extra ketchup on that?”

Me: “…Sir, ketchup is made from tomatoes.”

Customer: “Yeah, and?”

Me: “Sir, you’re allergic to tomatoes.”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s why I ordered it without tomatoes!”

Me: “But, you want extra ketchup—”

Customer: *interrupts, but still clueless* “Yeah!”

Me: “Which is made from tomatoes…”

Customer: “…”

(I gave him his total, he paid, and I served him his sandwich exactly as he ordered it.)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5

Gloating About Gluten

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | September 29, 2015

(I’m the manager of a lingerie store. I’m working out the back when I overhear a conversation between my employee and a posh-looking customer in her 40s.)

Employee: “Hello, welcome to [Store]. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a gluten free bra. It has to be gluten free.”

Employee: “Uhh. I’m sorry ma’am but we don’t stock gluten free garments. There’s actually not—”

Customer: “Don’t even try to tell me that you don’t have any. I know you have them. It says so on your website. You just don’t have them on display.”

Employee: “Ma’am, I’ve actually never heard of gluten free clothing before and I can assure you that we do not stock any.”

Customer: “You haven’t heard of them? How can you work in this store and not know your own stock? Go and get the manager. Stupid girl.”

(I am just about to lose my cool and order the woman out of the store when I have a better idea. Grabbing a box of bras, I make my way to the front desk.)

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. My employee has informed me you wish to purchase one of our new gluten free garments. I’m sorry she wasn’t aware that we sell them. They’re usually reserved for online sale only.”

Customer: “Well, you need to train your staff better. Knowledge is power, you know.”

Me: “I guess you’re pretty lucky you’re in the know, then. These are the gluten free garments but because you’re not buying them online I can’t offer a refund or exchange should you change your mind. I shouldn’t even be selling them to you, but I’ll make an exception just this once.”

(At this point the customer is looking pretty smug.)

Customer: “Finally! I need it in [size].”

Me: “Ok. That will be $50, please.”

Customer: “Oh, but those on the shelf are the same and they’re only $30.”

Me: “Yes, but these are the ‘gluten free’ ones you’ve specifically requested.”

Customer: “Oh, yes. That’s fine, then.”

Me: “Thank you for shopping at [Store]. Have a nice day.”

(After she leaves, my employee, who has been in the back trying to figure out what is going on, comes out.)

Employee: “What just happened?”

Me: “A rude woman who thinks she knows more than my employees just bought us lunch.”

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