January Theme Of The Month: Prank Calls!

Not Always Right | Announcements, Theme Of The Month
Happy New Year, everyone! Introducing January’s Theme Of The Month: Prank Calls!

Entering is easy:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about this month’s theme: Prank Calls. Share a story where you have received a prank call at work!
  2. At the end of the month, we’ll feature our favorite Theme Of The Month stories in a roundup!

Doesn’t Always Take Practise, Practise, Practise…

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Hall of Fame, Musical Mayhem, Tourists/Travel

(My grandfather and I are taking a tour of a world-famous opera house many years ago when this happens:)

Tour Guide: “And now, we are in the stage area, where—”

Grandfather: *singing* “La la la la la!”

Tour Guide: “What was that, sir?”

Grandfather: “Now I can say I sang on stage at [Famous Opera House]!”

Having Beef With Telling Porkies

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’d like a pound of chipped beef.”

Me: “So a pound of roast beef chipped?”

Customer: “No, chipped beef.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we only have roast beef and corned beef.”

(The lady dismisses me, and then scans our meat selection.)

Customer: “Here! Chopped ham! That’s what I’m looking for.”

Me: *surprised* “Oh, I thought you were looking for chipped beef.”

Customer: “That’s what that is. You take the chopped ham and chip it, and then it becomes chipped beef!”

Nipped That One In The Inappropriate Bud

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(I am working the sporting goods department of a huge, multinational retailer. I’m stocking fishing gear and cleaning up my aisle as I’m approached by a creaky-boned geriatric, clutching her cart for stability as her walker is stowed in it. With bleary, watery eyes behind huge, thick granny-glasses staring at me, she croaks out:)

Customer: “Where are your nipples?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your NIPPLES! Where are your NIPPLES?”

Me: *stunned silence*

Customer: *perhaps used to deal with people who are hard of hearing* “YOUR BABY BOTTLES AND YOUR NIPPLES! WHERE ARE THEY?”

Me: “Oh! Our infant’s section is in the opposite corner of the store.”

Customer: “THANK YOU!”

A Hot Slice Of Justice

, | Grimes, IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We’re getting pretty close to closing time. We’ve barely had any orders today. I’m working the kitchen with two others. Everything’s been cleaned and there’s nothing to do until another order comes in, when suddenly a customer comes storming into the store, shouting things exceptionally hard to understand, and possibly drunk.)

Me: “Oh, lord, here we go…”

Customer: “Where’s the kitchen guy! I WANT TO SEE THE KI—”

Me: “Right here. You can stop yelling now. I can hear you.”

Customer: *does actually stop yelling, probably because he had to look up to me* “Where the f*** is my pizza? I ordered a pizza over an hour ago. Now, where is it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We haven’t—”

Customer: “WHERE IS MY ORDER!? I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “Well, the manager is asleep. If you want, I can go back there and see if we have your order.”

Customer: “Yeah, you do that. I want my free f****** pizza!”

(He gives his name and address. I go to where we keep the order slips.)

Me: “Sir, there’s no slip under either of those.”

Customer: “WHERE IS MY GOD-D*** PIZZA! I ORDERED A PIZZA FROM THIS STORE!”

Coworker: “Hey, why don’t you call again?”

Customer: “What?”

Coworker: “If you did call this store, and we took your order, it was never filled. Go ahead and call the number again. If the phone rings, we’ll give you a free pizza.”

(He whipped out his phone, mashing the buttons until he got to the recent calls, and called the store. Our phone didn’t ring, but somebody on the other end picked up. He had placed an order at the store on the other side of town. The customer shoved his phone in his pocket and stormed out of the store without a word.)

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